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Daddy to dad

(172 Posts)
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-May-18 02:37:51

My kids 10,9, 7.5 came home after the weekend (father just moved in with gf who wants a baby) and told me that their father had told them they were too old to refer to him as daddy and that other kids would make fun of them as they were too old.

Cue automatic claws out reflex from me.

This has come out of the blue- they’re very young for their age, he’s always been daddy but explained that they had to move to dad.

They’re upset. AIBU by thinking... well it’s a bit unreasonable. Ex still refers to his own father as daddy!

Kids are upset, I’m annoyed but don’t want to lose my temper if I’m being overly sensitive.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-May-18 02:39:16

I put weekend, it was half term here for the past week and I keep thinking today is Monday!

BurningGubbins Thu 10-May-18 02:51:33

Personally, I would say they are a bit too old for daddy and mummy, but if they prefer it there’s no harm is there?
Maybe they should ask their dad(dy) why it’s ok for him but not for them?

I distinctly remember being in Y2 and a boy getting ripped into because he still called his mum “mummy”. It was one of those things that kids fixate on and lasted until about Y5 I think. Poor old Charles.

MrsPawsitive Thu 10-May-18 02:57:46

If it were me I'd tell the kids they can call him by his first name,
rather than "Dad", completely their choice.

sausagedogsmakechipolatas Thu 10-May-18 03:05:10

It’s surely something they decide for themselves when they’re ready, not something that can, or should, be dictated to them. Especially not in relation to an impending baby - way to make your children feel pushed out, much?

(My eldest is 11 and still calls me Mummy - entirely his choice, although my children have been well schooled in the art of not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks. I’m so proud grin )

midgetgemtheunicorn Thu 10-May-18 03:11:38

24 years of age and i still call my dad, daddy. Think it should be left completely up to your children and what they feel comfortable with.

Aloethere Thu 10-May-18 03:15:53

I agree it should be up to the kids to decide when they want to change from daddy to dad. I remember when my son turned 7 he said to me is it ok if I call you mum now I'm 7, I'm too old for mummy and that was it. My dd is 8 and says she is going to call me mummy forever.

RedDwarves Thu 10-May-18 03:17:11

I also think that they're a bit old for daddy and mummy, but I think it's as much of a cultural thing as anything else. It'd be very unusual, where I live, to hear a 10 year old refer to either of their parents as daddy or mummy.

But of course it should be up to your children. I don't know what you can do about it though. You can't make him accept them calling him daddy.

thebewilderness Thu 10-May-18 03:22:11

They should call him what they are comfy with but be aware that his warning is genuine. People pick on one another for anything and everything and words are one of the prime targets.

PyongyangKipperbang Thu 10-May-18 03:32:54

When I speak to my faher I call him Daddy (I am 45) but when I refer to him I call him "my dad" or "Dad did....Dad said..." and have done for as long as I can remember.

So they can still call him Daddy without getting teased for it.

As a woman who's ex husbands new wife had MAOR issues with me and our kids I realise I am projecting but....I smell GF kicking off. She wants him to be Daddy to their kid but not to yours and has invented this to convince him they must call him Dad.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Thu 10-May-18 03:39:04

Bollocks to that. I called my father daddy till he died - I was 56. Wouldn’t occur to me to change just because other people have silly notions about such things.

Myimaginarycathasfleas Thu 10-May-18 03:48:45

And I agree with Pyongyang, the GF’s hand is in this. I actually think this is quite cruel of them, Dad sounds quite distant and unaffectionate to my ears and probably to your DC too. At this stage with a new baby potentially in play, this is the last thing they need.

I have no advice on how to play this, it depends on how easy it would be to talk to your ex about their feelings. If you can’t get him to see this, I suppose you are going to have to try and put a positive spin on it. It stinks though.

LemonysSnicket Thu 10-May-18 03:53:59

I’m 23 and call my parents mummy and daddy to their face, around friends i refer to them as mum and dad. It’s what I’ve always done so why would I change it?

PyongyangKipperbang Thu 10-May-18 03:59:21

Myimaginary

If her ex is like mine, all she has to do is wait it out until the access visits taper off...........work, busy, work, away, soon, work......

20 year old DD cant remember what her father looks like as she last saw him when she was 3 and him and his GF got engaged and GF was desperate for a baby. On the one hand, demanding young kids EOW (and maintenance) and on the other a full work and social life, a very very active TTC sex life and avoiding child support. Poor kids had no chance did they? Yes, yes, projection.... I know!

Myimaginarycathasfleas Thu 10-May-18 04:11:43

So sorry to hear that, Pyongyang, it’s a common story but no less painful.

AjasLipstick Thu 10-May-18 04:26:51

There's no bloody age limit on it! What an arsehole. I bet his gf has said this. It probably irritates her....often people without children can think of young kids as being immature when they're just normal!

I would tell the fucker that he's upset them!

PlatypusPie Thu 10-May-18 04:59:55

My adult DDs call me Mummy, though would refer to me to other people as my mum. Same with Daddy/dad re my husband.

mathanxiety Thu 10-May-18 05:07:31

I agree with Pyongyang too, and with Myimaginarycat - this is the GF's influence and also that it's cruel.

The DCs have a right to have a relationship with their father on their own terms. They have a right to their own history with their father and to know him and address him as daddy.

They have the right for the adults around them to make sure all the change in their lives is done at their own pace. Not everything at once or in a short period of time. New GF has just set up home with their father, possible new baby, new family situation (mummy here, daddy there and GF too) and now new name they must call daddy? That is too much.

My mother is 85 and all her siblings are well into their 70s and 80s but still refer to grandad as Daddy.
My DCs all call me Mommy. Oldest is 28.
I have cousins who called their mother Mummy always, no change to Mum.

Your DH should be warned that it is not unknown for children to decide they want nothing to do with parents who treat them poorly, and that all of yours, despite being young for their age, are fast approaching the age when a judge would listen to any requests from them along those lines.

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 10-May-18 05:37:53

How easy is it to communicate with your ex? Can you text him and tell him the children are very upset about his insistence to call him dad and they will continue to call him daddy? I agree, this has his gfs stamp all over it.

Notso Thu 10-May-18 06:00:51

I find this such a sad request. My four kids range in age from 18 to 6, they all call me Mum/Mummy/Mama. It tends to be more Mum from the older ones and more Mama from the youngest it's completely their choice.

WeAllHaveWings Thu 10-May-18 06:02:02

You're dc are potentially going to have a half sibling with your ex and his new gf. Pick your battles, keep your dignity, and try not to stress about the little things. This is a little thing. Totally up to your ex he wants to be called regardless of who did or didn't put the idea in his head.

How have you approached with your dc?

updownwhinewhine Thu 10-May-18 06:23:23

What's all this 'too old?' I've never realised there was a cut off point? I'm nearly 30 and still call my parents mummy and daddy, I would never use mum and dad even when we're all old and crusty. I'd be so upset if DS decided he didn't want to call me mummy anymore sad

AuntieStella Thu 10-May-18 06:31:53

What's MAOR?

I wouidn't rush to blame the new DP. For all you know, he's always disliked being called Daddy, and just prefers Dad. Timing of request just coincidence, or because he's seeing it as a new start himself.

But even if you have reasons to really think it's her, I think this is something you have to let go. Not least because you can't do anything about it, and because it's a change that may well, ave happened at some point anyhow (DC1 is about that age, and when one changes the rest often follow).

So all you can do is smile and nod, so they don't see it as a big deal.

Windthebobbinup1982 Thu 10-May-18 06:35:30

In my experience, the more upper class someone is, the longer they call their parents mummy and daddy.... So I reckon you’re solid middle class if you have a son who’s still calling his father ‘daddy’ at age 10.

babydreamer1 Thu 10-May-18 06:37:17

Well I'm 30 and still have a mummy and daddy! I just don't refer to them as such when speaking to others. My mum would hate it if I called her 'mum' so I just never have and she would never refer to herself as such. I call my dad, dad/daddy, or a joke version of his first name. Your ExH sounds quite cruel.

babydreamer1 Thu 10-May-18 06:40:38

In addition I will also insist on being Mummy for ever! Even when my little boy is 50! grinwink

Bekabeech Thu 10-May-18 06:44:49

@babydreamer1 I know plenty of people who still call their parents Mummy and Daddy at 50.
They are usually either Irish or posh.

This really is small stuff. Soon enough neither you or ex will really be able to control what your Dc call you. Mine call me "Mother" from time to time in full knowledge that I hate the word. They will also call us by first names at times.

crisscrosscranky Thu 10-May-18 06:45:02

My DD is 10 and recently started referring to me as "Mum" when speaking to her peers but still calls me Mummy at home! Same with Dad/Daddy.

He was BU but there's no evidence this is the GF's influence. I agree with a PP that if they have a baby they will both be in your kids' lives for a long time so best to pick your battles.

vampirethriller Thu 10-May-18 06:45:43

My parents are Mother and daddy and I'm nearly 40.

Yokatsu Thu 10-May-18 06:47:36

Whether it's normal or not is totally irrelevant. It's really only a big deal if you let it be and if that's the biggest problem u have with your ex it really isn't worth making a fuss over

CowbellPopular Thu 10-May-18 06:49:27

Definitely too old for "Daddy", he's right.

It has nothing to do with you though, it's between him and them.

channingtatumspecs Thu 10-May-18 06:59:00

I'm 40 and call my Dad "Daddy" and Mum "Mumma" from time to time! Mostly they're Mum and dad but No one ever told me what they SHOULD be called

channingtatumspecs Thu 10-May-18 07:03:09

@CowbellPopular to old for "daddy"? What is the cut off age just so I know ? 7.5 is still pretty young from my experience and I was unaware of the rules around this (as at 40 I still sometimes calls my own pops daddy!)

SoupDragon Thu 10-May-18 07:04:38

Definitely too old for "Daddy", he's right.

Is there a written rule on This?

channingtatumspecs Thu 10-May-18 07:05:51

@Bekabeech I call mine "mother" when I'm making a point ha ha

bookmum08 Thu 10-May-18 07:10:02

What's he going to do - ignore them if they say Daddy?!
Maybe tell them to go for the annoying version -
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad"
(repeated over and over).

mathanxiety Thu 10-May-18 07:13:58

You know you can be both Irish and posh?

Branleuse Thu 10-May-18 07:16:15

i dont think the parent gets to decide. I think the child moves to it gradually in their own time. Its mean when a parent tries to enforce things like this, it looks like THEY are the ones that are embarrassed by their own children

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue Thu 10-May-18 07:21:26

I think all of them are several years too old to be using mummy and daddy. If they’re young for their age that’s probably because you’re babying them in this way.

channingtatumspecs Thu 10-May-18 07:23:57

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue I must've missed that parenting class what is the age cut off for mummy and daddy

nannybeach Thu 10-May-18 07:28:18

My own dks and dgd desided when they were about 5, to say Mum and Dad instead of Mummy and Daddy, I gives me the creeps when adults say Mummy,Daddy, it sounds effected and childish. Incidentally my DHs Mother, is just that Mother, you wouldnt DARE call her Mum, she would consider it slang, and inproper. She is the scarey matriarch in charge of the family!

balsamicbarbara Thu 10-May-18 07:28:52

Hmm no they don't have a "right" to call him whatever they like. One of the major rights we all have as individuals, parents or not, is deciding what we want other people to address us as, and encouraging someone to address someone else against their wishes is a terrible idea. If he wants to be Dad, so be it.

Shrodingerslion Thu 10-May-18 07:29:15

Growing up I thought it was babyish as my ten year old does now. We are from the NE

Her half sisters from watford who are 18 and 15 still call their parents mummy and daddy.

Obviously I don’t see it as babyish now I am grown up and it should not matter.

A few of my friends have said oh how posh though when I talk about the girls visiting Daddy.

Rainydaydog Thu 10-May-18 07:32:02

I just leave this up to my dd and she picked up that most people had started using mum and dad so uses that at school but still calls us mummy and daddy at home. I think it's like having pet names for people in the family, you might not do it round others but it shows affection.

ImNotMeImSomeoneElse Thu 10-May-18 07:36:09

What your children call your ex isn't really your business, is it? It's between him and his children.

Yes his girlfriend might have had a say, so what? He's an adult, if he chooses to be swayed by someone else's opinion, that's his choice to make.

You will probably have issues that are actual issues to deal with. Don't make a big deal out of things that are irrelevant, like this. Life will be much easier for you all if you don't.

fleshmarketclose Thu 10-May-18 07:37:19

I think the Mummy to Mum and Daddy to Dad is usually led by the child though in my experience. My dc now adult and teen call me what they choose so I'm Mum/ Mummy/ Moot and Mutty depending which one is calling me. I called my own Dad Pops although I would refer to him as my Dad if I was speaking about him with someone else.
It seems a bit harsh of exh to demand they stop calling him Daddy tbh.

SecretIsland Thu 10-May-18 07:37:21

Ah this has just made me think and I've just realised that neither of my oldest (8 and 10) have called me mummy for ages, it's morphed naturally to mum.

He's bu op, the change would probably have happened soon anyway.

Personally I would expect it to change to mum anyway though...I can't stand hearing adults referring to their 'mummy', it's cringey and very much a child's word imo. And makes me think of Little Britain.

PrettyLovely Thu 10-May-18 07:45:17

I agree with secretisland makes me cringe too.

rainingcatsanddog Thu 10-May-18 07:45:55

I think of someone super posh like Prince Charles.

Ohmydayslove Thu 10-May-18 07:56:18

I think your annoyance is really about your ex and this GF wanting a sprog so you maybe magnifying a situation.

I remember at school back in the 70s us taking the piss out of a girl calling her parents mummy and daddy at 11. Maybe your ds was just thinking that might happen to your older dd but handled it badly?

I think most kids turn to dad and here in the midlands mom aged 8/9.

Perhaps have a breezy chat to them and make light of it. Don’t dwell although I can absolutkry understand your annoyance.

Allreadygone Thu 10-May-18 07:57:34

What's wrong with calling him father?
I have a feeling that in the USA it is fairly usual to refer to fathers as Sir.

Ohmydayslove Thu 10-May-18 07:57:39

Agree with pps adults saying mummy and daddy unless in a lovely Irish accent sounds cringe

DiamondsBestFriend Thu 10-May-18 08:05:11

God there are some stuck-up twats on this thread.... hmm I think all of them are several years too old to be using mummy and daddy. If they’re young for their age that’s probably because you’re babying them in this way. I suppose the seven year old is to old for toys as well then? And father Christmas, and being a child still. Do unclench, there’s a love.

Seriously I can’t believe that people actually believe this shite about how a seven year old is too old to call their father daddy.

The issue here is that the father has told the children they can’t call him daddy any more and they’re upset by it. That makes it the OP’s business.

My ex went one further and told mine I was too old to be called mummy and to stop. I told them to ignore him. grin.

If a parent has an issue with it that says more about the parent than it does about the child. Children usually come to this type of decision in their own time and their own way. Any parent who feels the need to force the issue, especially to a seven year old needs to have a look in the mirror first.

Ohmydayslove Thu 10-May-18 08:12:00

Totally agree about the 7 year old but it could br that dad genuinely thinks the 10 year old could be teased?? Just mentioned it to them both as easier for them both to name change than just one?

Agree this is generally child led but just trying to maybe see the dad in the best light? However can totally see the ops annoyance

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Thu 10-May-18 08:12:24

I think it is awful that he's done this, esp at a time when the dc are already dealing with so many changes that they have no control over. He's hurt them - that's much worse than some hypothetical kid at school saying something mean.
I would tell him that they are sad and hurt - he shouldn't be shielded from the consequences of his actions. I also agree with pp that gf's hand is in this somewhere, if he has never indicated unhappiness with 'daddy' before now.
What's likely to happen long term is that the dc won't feel so close to him - he'll move on to second family and never really appreciate what he is losing!
It's maybe okay to suggest kids just say mummy and daddy at home, once they get to a certain age, but you have to be really careful and consider everythi g else that's going on with them, brcause really it should come from the kids themselves.
He is a twat.

ICantCopeAnymore Thu 10-May-18 08:39:20

In Wales it's Mammy and Daddy your whole life. There's no age limit and it's the norm.

How odd people think it's babying children.

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 10-May-18 08:43:47

He is not BU, other than for the make fun comment, it is his choice what he is called, if he does not want to be known as daddy, then he can say he won't respond to it any more please call me X, then that is unquestionably his right. The right to choose your identity is crucial. When talking about him to them, you should also respect those decisions.

Bunbunbunny Thu 10-May-18 08:56:07

I still call my dad daddy occasionally, just switch between the two without thinking!

Let your dc decide what to call him

coffeecupofmilk Thu 10-May-18 09:00:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue Thu 10-May-18 09:02:20

I must've missed that parenting class what is the age cut off for mummy and daddy

channingtatumspecs Don’t be so silly. OP was asking for our opinions and I gave mine, hence why I lead with I think and not It’s a fact that.

It is my opinion that these children are far too old for it and it is my opinion that the impression OP is giving is that she’s babying her children with such a shocked reaction at a mundane thing.

fearfultrill Thu 10-May-18 09:03:36

I have friends in their late 20s who still call their parents Mummy and Daddy grin

coffeecupofmilk Thu 10-May-18 09:03:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rainydaydog Thu 10-May-18 09:04:31

When talking about him to them, you should also respect those decisions.
I don't have an ex with a gf but if I did I would refer to them as Your Father and That Woman I'm sorry to say.

ICantCopeAnymore Thu 10-May-18 09:06:00

And Welsh. Nice to know that's what's culturally normal for us is so despicable to Mumsnet.

BlueJava Thu 10-May-18 09:07:18

Your ExH probably didn't realise this would upset the children - when his GF proposed it (as she no doubt did) it seemed quite reasonable to make a differentiation.

I'd tell him "The children are upset, there seems to have been some confusion about the fact they can't call you Daddy anymore. Could you sort it with them because I'm sure you didn't mean to upset them" then I'd leave it. If he persists then you can brace for reduced visits, less care and less general responsibility from his side - sorry!

coffeecupofmilk Thu 10-May-18 09:08:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FranticallyPeaceful Thu 10-May-18 09:09:43

I’m 31 and still refer to my father as daddy at times blush engrained. And I was never bullied for it

FASH84 Thu 10-May-18 09:10:34

Almost all of the people I went to uni with who had been educated privately, called their parents mummy and daddy or mother and father. If I'd done so at my state comp I would've been a laughing stock.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-May-18 09:10:52

I'm not being weird about the GF- she's nuttier than a squirrel smothered in peanut butter. She upset my eldest two years ago when driving my kids home and they thought they had seen their dad in town by turning round and hissing 'he's not your daddy- he's my daddy!'

Wont even go into the underwear she buys him, just to say that some have 'daddy' printed across the arse. Kids saw this, not me- I dont raid his underwear drawer.

Thankyou for the advice, I think I will just text him and say he has upset them and to clarify this- hes a tool but I dont think h would intentionally set out to hurt their feelings. I do get the 'embarrassment' thing. I was seven when someone made fun of me at school for calling my parents mummy and daddy, I had never realised before that it wasnt 'cool'.

harriethoyle Thu 10-May-18 09:12:09

39 years old and still call the rents Mummy and Daddy!! grin

OP I think your ex has been a cock but I don't think it's an issue for you to intervene in. He can choose what he would like to be called although I totally disagree with him on it!

Shmithecat Thu 10-May-18 09:13:13

I still call my parents mummy and daddy. I'm 42. Working class. No uni/private education. My DM is Irish and always called her parents mammy and daddy. Maybe that why I still call my parents that way. Not really bothered what anyone else makes of that 🤷‍♀️

porkiepiesky Thu 10-May-18 09:15:20

What a bizarre thing to be judgy about, what's wrong with a 10 year old still saying mummy/daddy?

Mumsnet has a reputation for being judgy. Threads like this don't help!

OP, YANBU.

897654321abcvrufhfgg Thu 10-May-18 09:15:52

It’s up to the kids. I still call my parents mummy and daddy at 41,

amusedbush Thu 10-May-18 09:17:02

I've been shot down on similar threads before but yes, I do think they are a bit old for "mummy" and "daddy". The only adults I know who use those terms are vair vair posh but it does make me cringe a bit.

Those are just my thoughts though. I wouldn't tell anyone in real life because what you call your parents doesn't hurt anyone.

FASH84 Thu 10-May-18 09:17:28

I think it's all personal preference, my mum prefers to be called nanny by GC we don't have any yet but I've told her to get used to the idea of grandma as she isn't a goat or a paid form of childcare.

897654321abcvrufhfgg Thu 10-May-18 09:17:30

Could it b that this is the gf special name for him!!!

porkiepiesky Thu 10-May-18 09:23:35

my mum prefers to be called nanny by GC we don't have any yet but I've told her to get used to the idea of grandma as she isn't a goat or a paid form of childcare.

It's not up to you what your DC call her surely, unless she is demanding they call her Mum confused

Nanny is traditional in some parts of the country. My family are from the SouthWest and everyone is Nanny there. Get over yourself.

Ebeneser Thu 10-May-18 09:26:51

In Wales it's Mammy and Daddy your whole life. There's no age limit and it's the norm.

Well that's complete tosh. I'm Welsh and no one calls their parents Mammy and Daddy their whole lives. In fact I've never ever heard anyone call their mother "Mammy". It's usually mummy or mum.

Stephisaur Thu 10-May-18 09:33:33

I was going to say that maybe the GF calls him Daddy in a sexual sense.

Now I've seen your update, she definitely does. Ughhh.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel Thu 10-May-18 09:35:07

I called my parents Mummy and Daddy all their lives. Mum and Dad was just not on and I didn't like those terms either. When referring to them in conversation, I say 'my parents', 'my mother' or 'my father'. These terms seem to have fallen out of fashion which is a shame.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds Thu 10-May-18 10:04:51

So basically he is stopping his own kids from saying daddy because his gf uses it sexually? Urgh!

QuizzlyBear Thu 10-May-18 10:08:21

I can understand if what was actually said was 'you're a bit old to call me daddy in front of your friends so why don't you call me dad so they don't tease you?'

I had to tell my boys that it would be better to walk out of school with my arm over their shoulders rather than holding hands at 9 - given the choice they would have done so into secondary school! Their classmates could be brutal...

MyBreadIsEggy Thu 10-May-18 10:08:37

Surely it’s should be just whatever your kids prefer to call him?
My kids are only 3yo & 18mo, but call me a mixture of Mama, Mum and Mummy - most often I’m Mama, but I do notice when 3yo has been at preschool I’m “mum” more often!!

DiamondsBestFriend Thu 10-May-18 10:10:12

Daddy in a sexual way is just fucking creepy <shudder>

MollyDaydream Thu 10-May-18 10:14:47

I think they're a bit old too, not the 7 yo maybe but the older two. I'm not a fan of older children/adults using baby talk.

NoodlesLivesHere Thu 10-May-18 10:15:36

Well that's complete tosh. I'm Welsh and no one calls their parents Mammy and Daddy their whole lives. In fact I've never ever heard anyone call their mother "Mammy". It's usually mummy or mum.

That's just as ridiculous as saying everyone in Wales does say it. Sweeping generalisations are useless and unhelpful. I certainly do call my parents mammy and daddy to their face if calling them (mixed in with mam and dad depending on circumstance) as to most people I grew up with. Mum and mummy is more common in south east Wales (Cardiff, Newport etc) but still hear mam used a lot locally because of the Welsh speaking communities that are growing in strength.

Bananas glad you've told ex that he's upset the children. Hopefully he'll be adult about it and realise the timing with the new baby is swiftly going to make his children feel 2nd rate even if that isn't the intention.

DiamondsBestFriend Thu 10-May-18 10:18:03

There is no way a seven year old would be teased at school for calling a parent daddy. No way.

ICantCopeAnymore Thu 10-May-18 10:18:11

Where in Wales are you from, Ebeneser? I've lived in various places and it's always Mammy/Mummy and Daddy.

Racecardriver Thu 10-May-18 10:20:04

Tell them that they're is no such thing and explain to your ex that Dad is common and not a good habit to encourage.

PinkHeart5914 Thu 10-May-18 10:20:45

I think they should decide if they want to call him dad/daddy, I don’t think parents should say well I don’t want you to call me daddy anymore as I’ve decided your too old.

I don’t think they are too old I am a lot older than your dc and I still say daddy 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s what I’ve always called my father

PatisserieDeBayeux Thu 10-May-18 10:21:46

Mummy and Daddy at that age does sound posh to me as well. NE here. We never used those terms even as babies. It was Mam and Dad as soon as you could talk.

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 10-May-18 10:25:46

Surely it’s should be just whatever your kids prefer to call him?

What if they prefer fuckface? And does this extend to other people, should I be allowed to call Rodney down the pub Dave simply 'cos I prefer it?

Hideandgo Thu 10-May-18 10:30:54

I think it’s ok for him to decide what he should be called, but he should go about requesting it carefully. If he prefers to be called Dad then that’s up to him.

Kids can be notoriously difficult to make do things though so if they keep calling him Daddy to piss him off that’s his problem.

DiamondsBestFriend Thu 10-May-18 10:33:35

And does this extend to other people, should I be allowed to call Rodney down the pub Dave simply 'cos I prefer it? don’t be so obtuse. The children have always called him daddy, therefore that’s how he has been known to them. Only now has he decided that they can’t any more because daddy doesn’t fit with his and his gf’s perverse sexual fetishes.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-May-18 10:38:16

I should clarify that GF isnt pregnant (as far as I'm aware) but does want a baby.

That, tbh is none of my business. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our children's lives. Good luck to her as far as I'm concerned; she may need it.

It's that he upset the kids which has been my issue here.

sirfredfredgeorge fuckface is my pet name for him ;)

Ebeneser Thu 10-May-18 10:39:13

@ICantCopeAnymore
I'm in North West Wales, rural area where the first language is predominantly Welsh. I've never heard mammy or mam used around here.
I was thinking it's a regional difference between North & South Wales, but @NoodlesLivesHere seems to suggest the use of mum and mummy is more common in South East Wales.

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow Thu 10-May-18 10:42:12

Mine are 8 and 13. They still call us mummy and daddy. They can change that as and when they want. It might be next week, it might be never.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil Thu 10-May-18 10:43:12

Hideandgo I think you're right. They wouldnt call him something simply to annoy him, I think that he did it a really bad way and as its coinciding with a significant change (moving in with the GF) its been unsettling for the kids.

I dont want them to equate him moving in with GF to not being their daddy anymore.

I probably am being a little oversensetive though.

QueenArseClangers Thu 10-May-18 10:45:33

Eeeeeeew, it’s her dirty sex name for him and she doesn’t want anyone else using it shock

Grim.

SleepingStandingUp Thu 10-May-18 10:59:28

Eww he's clearly having flashes of his partner when he hears "Daddy" shouted randomly and its making him feel uncomfortable. How weird. I've really never understood the appeal personally. If my DH asked me to call him Daddy I'd be looking for a new husband and I can't think of anything more likely to wilt DH than me calling it him!

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