Daddy to dad

[BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil]

My kids 10,9, 7.5 came home after the weekend (father just moved in with gf who wants a baby) and told me that their father had told them they were too old to refer to him as daddy and that other kids would make fun of them as they were too old.

Cue automatic claws out reflex from me.

This has come out of the blue- they’re very young for their age, he’s always been daddy but explained that they had to move to dad.

They’re upset. AIBU by thinking... well it’s a bit unreasonable. Ex still refers to his own father as daddy!

Kids are upset, I’m annoyed but don’t want to lose my temper if I’m being overly sensitive.

my mum prefers to be called nanny by GC we don't have any yet but I've told her to get used to the idea of grandma as she isn't a goat or a paid form of childcare.

It's not up to you what your DC call her surely, unless she is demanding they call her Mum

Nanny is traditional in some parts of the country. My family are from the SouthWest and everyone is Nanny there. Get over yourself.

In Wales it's Mammy and Daddy your whole life. There's no age limit and it's the norm.

Well that's complete tosh. I'm Welsh and no one calls their parents Mammy and Daddy their whole lives. In fact I've never ever heard anyone call their mother "Mammy". It's usually mummy or mum.

I was going to say that maybe the GF calls him Daddy in a sexual sense.

Now I've seen your update, she definitely does. Ughhh.

I called my parents Mummy and Daddy all their lives. Mum and Dad was just not on and I didn't like those terms either. When referring to them in conversation, I say 'my parents', 'my mother' or 'my father'. These terms seem to have fallen out of fashion which is a shame.

So basically he is stopping his own kids from saying daddy because his gf uses it sexually? Urgh!

I can understand if what was actually said was 'you're a bit old to call me daddy in front of your friends so why don't you call me dad so they don't tease you?'

I had to tell my boys that it would be better to walk out of school with my arm over their shoulders rather than holding hands at 9 - given the choice they would have done so into secondary school! Their classmates could be brutal...

Surely it’s should be just whatever your kids prefer to call him?
My kids are only 3yo & 18mo, but call me a mixture of Mama, Mum and Mummy - most often I’m Mama, but I do notice when 3yo has been at preschool I’m “mum” more often!!

Daddy in a sexual way is just fucking creepy

I think they're a bit old too, not the 7 yo maybe but the older two. I'm not a fan of older children/adults using baby talk.

Well that's complete tosh. I'm Welsh and no one calls their parents Mammy and Daddy their whole lives. In fact I've never ever heard anyone call their mother "Mammy". It's usually mummy or mum.

That's just as ridiculous as saying everyone in Wales does say it. Sweeping generalisations are useless and unhelpful. I certainly do call my parents mammy and daddy to their face if calling them (mixed in with mam and dad depending on circumstance) as to most people I grew up with. Mum and mummy is more common in south east Wales (Cardiff, Newport etc) but still hear mam used a lot locally because of the Welsh speaking communities that are growing in strength.

Bananas glad you've told ex that he's upset the children. Hopefully he'll be adult about it and realise the timing with the new baby is swiftly going to make his children feel 2nd rate even if that isn't the intention.

There is no way a seven year old would be teased at school for calling a parent daddy. No way.

Where in Wales are you from, Ebeneser? I've lived in various places and it's always Mammy/Mummy and Daddy.

Tell them that they're is no such thing and explain to your ex that Dad is common and not a good habit to encourage.

I think they should decide if they want to call him dad/daddy, I don’t think parents should say well I don’t want you to call me daddy anymore as I’ve decided your too old.

I don’t think they are too old I am a lot older than your dc and I still say daddy 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s what I’ve always called my father

Mummy and Daddy at that age does sound posh to me as well. NE here. We never used those terms even as babies. It was Mam and Dad as soon as you could talk.

Surely it’s should be just whatever your kids prefer to call him?

What if they prefer fuckface? And does this extend to other people, should I be allowed to call Rodney down the pub Dave simply 'cos I prefer it?

I think it’s ok for him to decide what he should be called, but he should go about requesting it carefully. If he prefers to be called Dad then that’s up to him.

Kids can be notoriously difficult to make do things though so if they keep calling him Daddy to piss him off that’s his problem.

And does this extend to other people, should I be allowed to call Rodney down the pub Dave simply 'cos I prefer it? don’t be so obtuse. The children have always called him daddy, therefore that’s how he has been known to them. Only now has he decided that they can’t any more because daddy doesn’t fit with his and his gf’s perverse sexual fetishes.

I should clarify that GF isnt pregnant (as far as I'm aware) but does want a baby.

That, tbh is none of my business. As long as it doesn't negatively impact our children's lives. Good luck to her as far as I'm concerned; she may need it.

It's that he upset the kids which has been my issue here.

sirfredfredgeorge fuckface is my pet name for him ;)

@ICantCopeAnymore
I'm in North West Wales, rural area where the first language is predominantly Welsh. I've never heard mammy or mam used around here.
I was thinking it's a regional difference between North & South Wales, but @NoodlesLivesHere seems to suggest the use of mum and mummy is more common in South East Wales.

Mine are 8 and 13. They still call us mummy and daddy. They can change that as and when they want. It might be next week, it might be never.

Hideandgo I think you're right. They wouldnt call him something simply to annoy him, I think that he did it a really bad way and as its coinciding with a significant change (moving in with the GF) its been unsettling for the kids.

I dont want them to equate him moving in with GF to not being their daddy anymore.

I probably am being a little oversensetive though.

Eeeeeeew, it’s her dirty sex name for him and she doesn’t want anyone else using it

Grim.

Eww he's clearly having flashes of his partner when he hears "Daddy" shouted randomly and its making him feel uncomfortable. How weird. I've really never understood the appeal personally. If my DH asked me to call him Daddy I'd be looking for a new husband and I can't think of anything more likely to wilt DH than me calling it him!

It should be their choice. I know a 13yo who still calls his mum "Mummy", I think it's sweet.