Daddy to dad

[BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil]

My kids 10,9, 7.5 came home after the weekend (father just moved in with gf who wants a baby) and told me that their father had told them they were too old to refer to him as daddy and that other kids would make fun of them as they were too old.

Cue automatic claws out reflex from me.

This has come out of the blue- they’re very young for their age, he’s always been daddy but explained that they had to move to dad.

They’re upset. AIBU by thinking... well it’s a bit unreasonable. Ex still refers to his own father as daddy!

Kids are upset, I’m annoyed but don’t want to lose my temper if I’m being overly sensitive.

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Y2 Gubbins?! Harsh. Poor boy. DS2's in Y2 and they all still say mummy and daddy.

[blackteasplease]

I think they should be allowed to do what they choose.

Mine are 9 and 4 and call exh Dad or Daddy interchangeably. The little one sometimes uses his first name but more as a joke than anything else.

I had to fight my Mum so hard for the right to call her Mum and not Mummy when i was a teen!

[blackteasplease]

Just read the update about the gf. That's seriously weird!

[IRefuseToAgree]

This really doesn't matter. It's between him and the kids. It doesn't matter what other people think is ok or not it's up to him and the kids.

I'd keep completely out of it if I were you.

[YearOfYouRemember]

Utterly ridiculous to dictate that someone can't call their parent mummy and daddy no matter their ages.

My kids are 12-17 and the oldest and youngest still call me mummy. The middle one calls me mother .

I'd be saying why is he not old enough to have to stop calling his father daddy but his younger than him kids are .

Is this girlfriend led I wonder.

[theLandslidebroughtmedown]

she's nuttier than a squirrel smothered in peanut butter

I've not RTFT yet but that actually made me LOL!

DD(13) calls us mummy/daddy (mum/dad in front of her friends). Growing up I would have thought she was weird but it's just who we are to her and what she wants to call us and I love it

[PyongyangKipperbang]

What's MAOR?

A typo

should be MAJOR

[DadDadDad]

Obviously, my username means I'm an expert on this topic.

It never occurred to me to tell my children when to switch from Daddy to Dad - it's just a natural thing they pick up from siblings and (presumably) schoolfriends. I wouldn't criticise them for either word.

[BurningGubbins]

PerfectlySymmetrical yep, but this was in the 80s so perhaps a different time, but it’s something that has stuck in my memory. And he really did stick out as being the only one who still said mummy. This was in South Wales, just to add to that part of the thread!

[BurningGubbins]

Thinking about it, perhaps it was a level of independence thing. By Y2 (J2 in old money) the vast majority of the class were walking to and from school alone. You didn’t really see parents at the school, even those that came by car would walk to the car where their parents would be waiting.

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Having read the update: bleurgh. Some weird incest fantasy going on there.

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Times have changed Gubbins. DD's only allowed to walk home from school alone now in Y5, school rules. And I have to sign a form giving permission.

[NurseButtercup]

She upset my eldest two years ago when driving my kids home and they thought they had seen their dad in town by turning round and hissing 'he's not your daddy- he's my daddy!'

Wont even go into the underwear she buys him, just to say that some have 'daddy' printed across the arse. Kids saw this, not me- I dont raid his underwear drawer.

When I read your op I suspected the beginning of your exh's eventual withdrawal from his children. This was the exact same thing my dad said to myself and my siblings. However, this update right here has left me speechless...

[WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue]

Having read the update: bleurgh. Some weird incest fantasy going on there.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks The Daddy/Little Girl dynamic is nothing to do with incest. There’s no incestual link whatsoever.

[Branleuse]

oh ffs, whether shes got some daddy fantasy or not, shes jealous of his ACTUAL children, and hes enabling it/encouraging it.

Id actually stop my kids going there for that.

[ICantCopeAnymore]

@Ebeneser

Sounds South then! I've lived both South East and South West and it's the same generally.

[Branleuse]

well of course theres an incestual link. Its an actual incest fantasy.

It doesnt mean that hes interested in his own children of course, but his girlfriend doesnt seem to be able to make the separation, and its completely inappropriate for her to say that to the children.

[balsamicbarbara]

well of course theres an incestual link. Its an actual incest fantasy

Hmm, calling your partner "daddy" is an incest fantasy now? So what the heck do you think it means when he calls you "baby"!?

[Dixiebell]

I went through agonies as a teenager about what to call my parents. I got to an age where I felt embarrassed to call them mummy and daddy, but had always done so, and thought I might upset them by calling them mum and dad. I remember being mortified when a friend read a birthday card on our mantelpiece from me addressed to mummy. I felt like this for years! So, I think it’s good to say to kids that they can use either, but yes, should be them to decide, otherwise they have to feel like they are doing something wrong whichever way round they prefer it!

[FriendlyOcelot]

I always cringe a little when I hear grown adults use mummy and daddy. It sounds a bit try-hard-to-be-posh to me. I’m sure it isn’t in all cases but I can’t help the involuntary toe curl when I hear it. It just sounds weirdly disfunctional and as if you aren’t on an adult level with your parents yet.

Anyway on young kids it’s fine and your ex and his new gf sound unhinged

[Dumbledoresgirl]

MollyDaydreamThu 10-May-18 10:14:47

I'm not a fan of older children/adults using baby talk.

So I take it you call your parents Mother and Father? Because Mum and Dad are baby words too.

This subject always riles me a bit. I am in my 50s and call my parents Mummy and Daddy. Maybe it sounds infantile or posh or weird to some of you but it is my name for my parents, nothing to do with anyone else. I wouldn't refer to them by those names if talking to someone else, if it makes a difference, and all of my children gradually changed from calling me Mummy to Mum, and I have no problem with that. I just don't think it is anyone else's business.

In this particular case, I definitely think the gf has something to do with this. I would be having words with the ex.

[PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks]

Why on earth would you call your partner "daddy"? Except in the sense of telling the DC to "give it to Daddy" etc?

She said, "He's not your daddy, he's my daddy." 😷

[Branleuse]

telling your partners children not to call him daddy because he is HER daddy now, and you think thats not fucking weird and bordering on incest fantasy?

Calling your partner baby doesnt mean you start demanding that you stop calling an actual baby a baby or that they are pretending to BE an actual adult baby (usually)

[NewPapaGuinea]

I’d go with Mumsie and Daddykins. Let the children decide when they want to seap to Dad. It’ll probably happen if they get teased, but that’s just part of growing up

[Branleuse]

Ive seen people like this on fet - they are generally mentally unwell and whilst it doesnt mean that they want to abuse real kids, she is bringing her sexual fantasy about being a little girl and having a daddy pampering her into his real childrens lives, by getting jealous of them and demanding they act differently around him and stop using the name for him that theyve always called him, because to them, its now all part of their sex game