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To not go to this birthday party? **title edited by MNHQ**

(219 Posts)
Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:15:38

Name changed but been on MN a long time (penis beaker, naice ham, Maui etc etc).

My cousin emailed yesterday to say they are having a First birthday party for their DS on December 23rd. The venue is about an hour's drive each way. My cousin and I are not close, we tend to only see each other at big family occasions but get along well enough. Their DS actually turns one a couple of weeks earlier but apparently this was the only weekend they were free to have the party.

My heart sank when I saw the date to be honest. DH and I are both Teachers and we break up late this year so don't finish work until the 22nd, which obviously leaves two days to get organised for Christmas. DH and I are hosting both sets of parents this year plus his Grandparents so we will have a fair bit to do. I was really hoping to have a productive day on the 23rd so I can actually spend part of Christmas Eve relaxing with the DC this year.

I just spoke to my DM and mentioned that I was thinking we might not go and she made it very clear she thought I was being unreasonable. She thinks it will "look bad" if the whole family isn't there and that being busy in the run up to Christmas "isn't a good enough excuse". I told her that IMO if you organise an event two days before Christmas you probably expect that some people will decline as it's such a busy time.
DH is sat firmly on the fence and says it's up to me as it's my family.

So, MN jury, what do you think? WIBU to politely decline or is it likely to cause great offence?

confusedlittleone Sun 22-Oct-17 18:17:29

What time is the christening? Could you go for the morning and then do jobs in the afternoon (or the opposite if it's later afternoon)

BlueThesaurusRex Sun 22-Oct-17 18:17:33

Cousin’s child’s first birthday party? Don’t bother.
YANBU.

MaidenMotherCrone Sun 22-Oct-17 18:18:16

Is it a christening or birthday party Op? Either way I'd say sorry can't make it.

RainyApril Sun 22-Oct-17 18:18:30

I'm confused. Is it a christening or a first birthday party?

I'd make the effort for a christening, but wouldn't feel guilty about making up a polite white lie to avoid a first birthday party.

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:18:32

Sorry for any confusion, it says christening in the thread title but it's actually a birthday party. Don't know how to edit title! confused

Heratnumber7 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:19:06

DH and I are both Teachers and we break up late this year so don't finish work until the 22nd, which obviously leaves two days to get organised for Christmas

You do realise that normal beings usually work up to 24th??

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:19:34

Ive just been talking to DH about a christening were going to next weekend so obviously had that on the brain as I was typing blush

Wolfiefan Sun 22-Oct-17 18:19:41

I wouldn't go. You don't need an excuse. It's an invitation and not a summons. And the 1 year old won't care!!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 22-Oct-17 18:20:35

First birthday I wouldn't go, christening I'd go and resent it.

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:20:50

Heratnumber7 I do realise this. I only mentioned we were teachers in case someone suggested we take annual leave to give us more time to get things ready.

liquidrevolution Sun 22-Oct-17 18:21:15

I wouldn't go and i am not a teacher or hosting christmas this year.

Send apologies and a nice present.

Lj8893 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:22:49

heratnumber7 plenty of normal beings work all over Christmas, not stopping at xmas eve. Equally plenty finish work and have 1-2 weeks off over the whole period.

Not really sure what your point was.

Kpo58 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:23:57

If you report your post, you can get mumsnet HQ to edit the title for you.

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:25:38

Lj I think Heratnumber7 got the impression I was implying DH and I are special because we're Teachers.

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:26:03

Thanks Kpo. Will do.

PesoisaTool Sun 22-Oct-17 18:27:54

Heratnumber.....just a dig at teachers. Could you go alone and leave DH with some jobs to do?

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 22-Oct-17 18:29:29

Don’t go. No brainer.

Fruitcorner123 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:30:02

If its a childs birthday party will it be just a couple of hourss in the afternoon? That would only be 4 hrs with driving. So you would have half of 23rd left.

I dont think theres any harm in not going but i enjoy family events like this si i would probably go.

GetHappy Sun 22-Oct-17 18:30:07

I do not think you AIBU!
Decline, people understand and I wouldn’t be offended if I was given much notice

Wheresmejumpa Sun 22-Oct-17 18:30:16

For info it's starts at midday so I suppose we could get some bits done before and after, assuming we can get away after a couple of hours.

MissionItsPossible Sun 22-Oct-17 18:31:35

You do realise that normal beings usually work up to 24th??

Do you have exclusive access to every 'normal beings' work calendar or something?

Personally OP I would decline but only you know if and how much friction this would cause within your family.

Ameliablue Sun 22-Oct-17 18:32:40

If it had been a christening I'd go but not for a birthday party.

Birdsgottafly Sun 22-Oct-17 18:32:41

If it is honestly going to be too much for you,then don't go.

It sounds as though there will be enough people attending.

Personally, i would be organised for Christmas and fit it in, but I love family get-togethers and socialising just before Christmas.

HundredMilesAnHour Sun 22-Oct-17 18:33:47

I wouldn't go myself but then I think 1st birthday parties for anyone other than immediate family (i.e. parents and grandparents) are ridiculous so even if it was convenient, I wouldn't go.

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