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To think this was too much? Possibly tmi (sexual related)

(210 Posts)
Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 16:39:35

I dropped my son off at my exes house. I was upset, he hugged me and i feel took advantage of my vulnerability.

He groped me, and didnt stop when asked and told to stop.
He was making out he was playing, but at the end of it all - he was still doing it! Telling me he knows i want it - i am far from in the mood, and i wont sleep with someone im not in a relationship with. Ex or not! Telling me he is frisky and i should just do it. It would make me feel better etc. Getting it out and forcing my hand to it.

I dont know if i am thinking too much of an attempt to win me over for a quicky, or if he really did take advantage

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Wed 06-Jan-16 16:42:58

flowers that was sexual assault. Can you avoid seeing him on your is again?

Grapejuicerocks Wed 06-Jan-16 16:43:08

Wow! And you are even questioning if this is ok? Of course it should have stopped immediately you said no. or shouldn't have started in the first place

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Wed 06-Jan-16 16:43:10

Your own

Shockers Wed 06-Jan-16 16:45:46

Knee to the groin followed by an injunction.

itsmine Wed 06-Jan-16 16:46:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Figwin Wed 06-Jan-16 16:54:50

You said he forced your hand to it and wouldn't stop when you told him too. What would you say if a friend told you that? Just figure out how best to handle it. It doesn't sound like you would report him for it so make sure you are firm and clear that it's not on and you are not interested and physically push him off or avoid advances. If you are unsure if you are interested or not then I would take a step back from him to get your head sorted, avoid going in the house or talking to him anything other than child related or small talk. Hope you figure it out x

SpecialistSnowflake Wed 06-Jan-16 17:03:22

You were upset and he thought forcing you to give him a handjob would make you feel better? That wasn't just too much, it was assault.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 06-Jan-16 17:04:18

Agree that that is sexual assault.

Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 17:34:13

He made it seem like i was unreasonable for rejecting him over and over.
My no was meaningless to him....and felt like it was to me, too.
I didnt want it, otherwise i would never have rejected him and arranged a more suitable time...
I am not willing to be a slab of meat for someone who is frisky.
Though i suppose i let myself as all i did was said no countless numbers of times.
I physically moved his hand away from me and blocked him going down my trousers, but he was just giggling saying that i know it is going to happen so i should just let it. Even though i had said no and its not several times already.

I dont think i could report him. He is my sons dad and is a good dad. I actually thought he was like a friend as we do actually get on

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 06-Jan-16 18:02:07

What would you say to a friend who had this happen to them!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 06-Jan-16 18:02:42

Sorry that was meant to be a question mark..wasn't telling you off.

Just sometimes that helps put things into perspective.

Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 18:12:17

Its fine. I know you werent telling me off lol

I would tell a friend this was wrong.

What can i do though? Just pretend it never happened and never allow it to happen again? What if it did happen again? Did i let it happen in a way?

Narp Wed 06-Jan-16 18:15:38

Of course he made it seem you were unreasonable - he is a git and he didn't get what he wanted. He sexually assaulted you.

I would tell him that if he touches you again like that you will report him to the police.

catfordbetty Wed 06-Jan-16 18:15:54

I think you make it clear that he has had his one and final opportunity to behave like this. Next time you will report him to the police.

StealthPolarBear Wed 06-Jan-16 18:19:30

"Don't drop off on your own"
I wouldn't want my child anywhere near this sex pest

Figwin Wed 06-Jan-16 18:20:01

Either step back and don't go in the house when collecting/dropping off son and if he is collecting or dropping off have son ready to go or just a quick by at the door because you have stuff to do etc.

If in that position again I would make should he knew I wasn't playing by shoving him off or as others said, a knee to the balls...

Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 18:28:08

I will threaten to report it if he makes any further attempts. If my threat fails, then a knee to the balls.

He did similar when we were together when i think about it. He just made out i was forever rejecting him. Like at a bus stop, he would try and grope me and id tell him there is a time abd a place. Things like that.

StealthPolarBear Wed 06-Jan-16 18:28:57

You'd seriously knee a man in the balls and then leave your child in his sole care?

Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 18:33:10

He has a good relationship with my son and is a good dad

DoreenLethal Wed 06-Jan-16 18:34:31

A good dad does not sexually assault women.

Ginkypig Wed 06-Jan-16 18:39:32

Ok forget that this person is your ex for a minute as I think that is why you are muddled about how serious this is and feel like your making a big deal over nothing.

Imagine this is a man who didn't know you or was only an acquaintance and he did this even though you keep saying no. Would you not be horrified?

Does that make it easier to see that this is not just your ex being a bit full on with you (and you thinking you should play it down) and you just not being "up for it"

I'm sorry you've been put in this position.

itsmine Wed 06-Jan-16 18:41:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shallishanti Wed 06-Jan-16 18:42:56

I'm sorry but a good dad does not behave like this
what do you want your son to learn about how to behave?
he assaulted you

Strangeoccurence Wed 06-Jan-16 18:45:54

I think i would be horrified if this was a stranger. Possibly traumatised to be honest.

Being a sex pest towards women does not make him a danger to a child. He is a good dad.

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