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to be fuming at sexist Christmas Presents?

(476 Posts)
WomanlyWoman Sun 02-Oct-11 15:40:58

I attended my first PTA meeting the other night, during which I discovered that the pta have bought Christmas presents for every child in the school. Nice, right? Then I realised the presents were different according to gender, the older children get books, the younger ones such as my child, in reception, get crafty things from Yellow Moon. Great, except - the girls get flower presses, the boys get cars.

This has really p-ed me off bigtime. For one, my daughter likes cars, car was one of her first words, she adores Lightning McQueen and doesn't seem to realise that it's meant to be for boys. So what message does it give her about herself when she sees the boys getting cars while she gets a flower press? Admittedly she would probably like a flower press too, but that is not the point. What about nature loving boys? Why are these children being given the message that active dynamic machines are for boys and pretty, passive things like flowers are for girls? A nature theme for all of them or a transport theme for all of them would be fine by me, but this just seems so wrong.

I'm very shy by nature and I hardly know any of the other parents. The pta meeting itself was quite an ordeal for me, so I didn't speak up at the time. I thought it was pointless because the presents have already been bought. Why make myself unpopular, so soon, when it's already done and dusted.

Then I started thinking, it's only October, there may be time to send them back and order different ones if enough parents express an opinion similar to mine. Not sure how to go about it though. Opinions and advice appreciated.

spiderpig8 Sun 02-Oct-11 15:44:25

YABVVVVVVVVVVVU
FFS.There really is no pleasing some people is there!!!
My DDS hate cars and their brothers hated flower presses! You can't cater for every child's preferences.What a miserable ungrateful wretch to all the people giving up their time to buy the presents let alone raising the dosh in the first place

BatsUpMeNightie Sun 02-Oct-11 15:45:51

Fuming? At a free gift? Fuming you say?

Get over yourself and try in future NOT to find any old way to suck the joy out of stuff.

CocktailQueen Sun 02-Oct-11 15:46:00

Hmm. Tricky. Our PTA decided that all kids should get small selection boxes - ends all arguments!!! BUT I can see your point. Yellow Moon do various unisex crafty items - why not speak to/email the chair of the PTA and mention your concern and perhaps offer to be in charge of gift buying next year!

I'd prob leave it for this year tbh - don't sweat the small stuff. If I'd been the PTA member who'd bought the gifts I probably wouldn't appreciate a newcomer criticising them either hmm

WoTmania Sun 02-Oct-11 15:47:45

YANBU - they could have got ungendered toys and given them all the same thing - I would feel that way too.

onagar Sun 02-Oct-11 15:48:16

but order what different ones? What could they possibly order that would please everyone? They would have to pick something so dull no one would care if they got it or not.

How about a pencil each. That ought to safe.

BatsUpMeNightie Sun 02-Oct-11 15:49:22

Might not a pencil be seen as somehow phallic and therefore totally undesirable?

grin

wankerchief Sun 02-Oct-11 15:49:35

Fuming? Really?hmm

BluddyMoFo Sun 02-Oct-11 15:50:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThatStupidCat Sun 02-Oct-11 15:50:20

Seriously?

Dartfordmummy Sun 02-Oct-11 15:50:58

YABU.

I agree with Spiderpig - you'll never cater for everyone. I think its a lovely idea for the PTA to buy the children a present. What would you have bought them? Why was the PTA meeting such an ordeal?

CocktailQueen Sun 02-Oct-11 15:50:59

And also - MOST girls will like the flower presses and MOST boys will like the cars. Only a small minority would prefer the other gift. So you are looking at things solely from your dd's pt of view which is VU.

There is a REASON for girls and boys getting different gifts -cos they are mainly different and like different things!! hmm

<don't want to get into argument about ungendered hmm gifts>

elesbells Sun 02-Oct-11 15:51:01

I agree with others...you are sounding very ungrateful.

Its a FREE gift..

Yabvu

CocktailQueen Sun 02-Oct-11 15:51:32

Bats grin

What about a pencil sharpener instead?!

WalkHomeBitches Sun 02-Oct-11 15:51:40

YABU

HappyMummyOfOne Sun 02-Oct-11 15:52:21

Interesting first post hmm

Given its your first meeting then YANVU to say anything. The current members will have worked hard to raise funds and why shouldnt they get a choice in what they are spent on.
If you become part of the PTA going forward you can suggest ideas but if you do it in the manner of your post I doubt you'll get much support.

WalkHomeBitches Sun 02-Oct-11 15:54:07

i think at the age of reception you kind of assume girls like flowery and pink things and boys like blue car like things
plus its a free gift and if you were so bothered about it go out and buy your DD something she wants it pta is hardly going to go round asking each child what they want

projectbabyweight Sun 02-Oct-11 15:57:47

I don't think YABU. There's loads of non-cliched boy/girl pressies they could've got.

MarginallyNarkyPuffin Sun 02-Oct-11 16:00:13

It's a rather bizarre choice. Putting the issue of 'gendered' gifts aside why have they bought a toy and a craft set? One is instant gratification and one is take home and get help to do. Surely it would have been much more logical to get them all toys or all craft kits rather than half of them having toys and half craft sets?

I think it's deeply unfair to hand out toys to the boys and something that you have to wait weeks to get a result from to the girls.

All the girls I know would be furious to get a box to take home when the boys are already playing.

belgo Sun 02-Oct-11 16:00:46

Is the consensus that most girls would like a flower press? Really? I don't actually think that's the case.

I don't see the need for presents from school for every child, waste of funds IMO.

belgo Sun 02-Oct-11 16:01:53

MarginallyNarkyPuffin - I can imagine the vast majority of these flower presses will end up in the cupboard, never used. Not that many flowers around at Christmas anyway.

nickschick Sun 02-Oct-11 16:06:35

I think its lovely and if you think shed prefer the car set then you can buy her one for her stocking.

Sometimes I wondered when I was on the PTA was it really worth the effort.

WomanlyWoman Sun 02-Oct-11 16:08:30

"There is a REASON for girls and boys getting different gifts -cos they are mainly different and like different things!!"

Not at such a young age they don't. They are pretty much force fed rules on how-to-be. Such as here, girls will learn that cars are for boys and flowers for girls.

I am grateful that they fundraised and bought presents I just think it was a bad choice. It's not just about my child, it's about the message it gives to all the children.

Tyrionlovingyourwork Sun 02-Oct-11 16:10:14

YANBU.
However, I would not expect a change at this late stage. At least you have the opportunity to speak to your daughter.

pigletmania Sun 02-Oct-11 16:11:25

YABU, mabey they could let each child choose what present they wanted out of a santa sack, e.g flower or car.

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