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New job.. colleagues are bouncing with collagen & I’m the only parent

55 replies

snooplog · 17/09/2026 20:37

I’m 37. Just last week changed my job after 9 years at previous company. In my new work place my colleagues are all at least ten years younger than me. They all seem lovely, but I just feel so different in comparison. I’m the only one with children, & young children at that. My Line Manager is the same age but no kids, doesn’t want any. I made a comment to one of the girls in my team in a joking way about how she would make a great mum as she carries around lotions, potions, etc; she said ‘Absolutely not, I don’t want kids, I want a career’ to which I thought, fair enough, each to their own. The other 4 girls in the team then all said they’ve got no interest in having kids either (they’re all 25-28). I feel the odd one out, I haven’t been able to attend the social after work drinks they’re having tomorrow night because I live a good hour plus away, & due to childcare sorting. I know there will come a time I won’t be able to work as one of my kids will be ill, & I suppose it would be nice to have someone at work who has kids who can sympathise when they’re ill or just natter with over whatever they’re up to. I am probably feeling a bit emotional because I miss my old work & colleagues, & clearly no clue what I’m doing. I know at some point also the kids will get ill & I’ll have to take time off, I worry about potentially being penalised for that, as no one else will have that issue. Has anyone ever been the only parent within a work place?

OP posts:
tiredtiredd · 20/09/2026 07:40

What a weird title. I would have trough you were late 50s from this post.

Morepositivemum · 20/09/2026 07:50

I have, with a manager who regularly told me I wasn’t to expect different treatment just because I had kids (I hadn’t asked!!) She had obviously had her doubts hiring me because I had kids and on the one day I got a phone call to say my son had fallen in school I got a lecture saying how it really couldn’t happen again- that people would think I was getting special treatment, then the same lecture when I returned. I ended up being a bag of nerves anytime the kids got sick s as if finally left. Funny thing was after I left I found out she said similar to other employees substituting health issues, their parent etc, so I can’t give you special treatment and let you have time off all the time because your parents are elderly etc

Anarchy99 · 20/09/2026 15:33

Iocanepowder · 20/09/2026 07:00

You’re putting too much pressure on yourself op.

I have 2 young kids, my boss is younger than me and doesn’t, but she is still able to be empthatic and understanding and asking about the kids and has been great when I’ve needed an emergency day off.

I actually bond better with someone in my team who doesn’t have kids than someone who has kids the same age. It’s just a personality thing.

And I am 17 years older than someone in my team, and yes I have less energy than she does but I also have more experience in the role so that also doesn’t really matter.

Presumably you managed to avoid making stupid comments about making a great mum when you were new there though? And OP has said she doesn’t have much to talk out about except her kids.

Anarchy99 · 20/09/2026 16:53

RidingMyBike · 18/09/2026 14:56

I’m in a similar position at work, only person in my team that has children.

It’s really really inappropriate to tell someone they’d make a great mum. You have no idea why they’re not a mum, and whether that it is through choice or not. It’s none of your business. And why would a mum carry lotions and potions?! I don’t…

Limit the amount you tell about your DC. Nobody else is interested. Don’t worry about taking time off for illnesses, that’s just one of those things. And nobody else’s business as long as your line manager is aware. I’ve barely had any time off for sick children so it might not even be an issue.

Why not try to get to the after work social occasionally? Shows willing. You don’t have to go every time. Why not suggest a social in work hours - bring and share lunch or similar?

The OP’s attitude may have made that impossible now, it is so easy for newbies to alienate the existing staff

Megamegablahblah · 21/09/2026 18:06

I think the phrase 'you do you' is relevant here. I'm in my 40s and don't have children whereas nearly all my colleagues do. I genuinely could not care less.

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