Anyone retired early at 59 and struggled with guilt about leaving work?

[Unhappyatworkagain]

I'm 59 and I have had enough of work. I have no interest in going, learning anything new and cry everyday! I dream of retiring early. My husband says I can leave early but I feel so guilty. He works so hard and is well paid for what he does. My problem is that I feel a failure if I quit. I have an expensive hobby that my salary helps with but I know I can't go on feeling like this. I even hoped that my car would break down this morning so I didn't have to go. I've always worked but I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't retain information anymore and feel so unsatisfied and that life is just passing me by! Anyone else taken the plunge and if so did it work or should I just shut up and get on with it? If I retire early I will spend all my time worrying about money!

Oh and I do feel guilty but I can't magic up a suitable vacancy. All my jobs require 80hour weeks

Can't you get some form of work that involves horses?

Retired ( as in stopped working ) at 41 best thing ever . As long as your husband is also happy , which he is I don’t see the issue . Enjoy living your life .

Would part time not be the best of both worlds? At least to cover your personal expenses so as not to feel guilty? It'll also help stop your world shrinking to just your hobbies, which can be an issue between couples when one retires to do hobbies while the other works.

@HaveYouFedTheFish I am part-time in my present job but 4 days a week. I think part of me would like to try and retire and then decide in a year or so if I would like to get something else completely different (probably related to animals such as dog walking!). I think my biggest problem is in my head that I have had enough of "learning" and technology moving so quick and its something I am just not interested in anymore! I'm not enjoying my present job so that doesn't help!

I retired at 60 with just my teacher's pension for reasons I won't go into. I did exam invigilation (you don't need to have been a teacher), did volunteering, Spanish classes and made new friends in book club etc. 11 years later my days are still full and stimulating.

@CaptainMyCaptain That's strange because thats one of the things I thought about enquiring about (exam invigilating)! For me its not feeling worthwhile or stimulated, I just want to feel more at peace which I have never felt in my life! My biggest fear is guilt that I shouldn't be doing it early while hubby still works (even though I must admit he enjoys his job and really good at what he does). We are mortgage free now but comfortable, definitely not well off! My children are grown up and independent. Its just me and the fear of doing it!!!!

Almost impossible to get another job at that age.

I do understand that feeling @Unhappyatworkagain . The invigilating was obviously seasonal but brought in a little money and made me feel like I was doing something worthwhile.

You mentioned liking animals - my first volunteer job was taking children and a few adult groups on farm tours. It was a working farm locally (Sheffield) with an education charity.

I think that if you are off work and your DH is supportive then it’s a great idea. I have recently stopped working and I actually have time to do cooking, mow the lawn, go to the tip etc - all those household jobs that get put off. So if you’re off your DH’s life will be easier and you will both be happier!

Maybe set up that dog walking business then - you can make good money, especially if you can also do holiday care visits for cats and small pets of the kind that prefer to stay in their own home, and you can organise your time as you want and use technology as little as you want.

If you can afford to retire you have the time to get things up and running, as it'll probably start slowly.

I wonder, have you seen your GP and are you on any HRT ? The symptoms you describe are very common to lots of women your age. You may still not like your job but it may help with feeling tearful and memory issues/brain fog.

I don't think I could retire and just leave my DH to keep on working and supporting me for eight years until I reached 67 if I wasn't prepared to do that myself. You say you have an expensive hobby, so can you afford to pay for that yourself if you give up work, or will your DH be expected to pick up the tab for that, as well as all your living costs? If the answer is 'Yes' and you have plenty of savings to pay for that and contribute, then crack on.

Edited to say: your symptoms are very common of women post-menopause. Have you been to see your GP and explained how you are feeling? Are you on HRT? If the answer to that is 'No' then I would advise you to do that before you make any drastic decisions.

Do it. If nothing else, you need a break from what you are doing now. You may well decide to work again once you’ve had a rest, maybe in an area more aligned to your interests.
I can appreciate why you might feel guilty with your DH still working but please don’t. Your heath will suffer if you stay where you are and that’s no good for him either. Focus on the benefits retirement (whether temporary or permanent) will bring to you as a couple and a family as you’ll be able to do more at home, freeing up your DH’s time to do more fun things together.

Everyone saying 'You can always go back to work if you want', if that means dog walking or invigilating or whatever, then fine, but if you might need to go back into paid career work again at 60+ there are many, many posts on MN and articles in the papers recently about how incredibly hard this has become, so just bear that in mind.

Also, what does your DH think? Is he supportive?

Hi OP, I’m in a similar position but was just offered a big job with more money and responsibilities and I'm going for it. But I like my job and I like having money. And this is my last job. And if I start hating it I’ll just leave.

I think you could consider HRT too, I’m a fan of it. And call in sick and give yourself some breathing space and thinking time.

@cheezncrackers My husband is very supportive. Its me feeling guilty that is the problem. He has had a full on career, done really well, whereas I have always been the one to do raise the children, life admin, admin jobs etc.