Anyone retired early at 59 and struggled with guilt about leaving work?

[Unhappyatworkagain]

I'm 59 and I have had enough of work. I have no interest in going, learning anything new and cry everyday! I dream of retiring early. My husband says I can leave early but I feel so guilty. He works so hard and is well paid for what he does. My problem is that I feel a failure if I quit. I have an expensive hobby that my salary helps with but I know I can't go on feeling like this. I even hoped that my car would break down this morning so I didn't have to go. I've always worked but I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't retain information anymore and feel so unsatisfied and that life is just passing me by! Anyone else taken the plunge and if so did it work or should I just shut up and get on with it? If I retire early I will spend all my time worrying about money!

You are not being selfish, you are at breaking point.

It happened to me just before Christmas, I'd got to the point where I felt like I just couldn't stand it any more. DH suggested I retired, I asked if he thought we could afford it and he said yes, just about. So I took early retirement this spring and I have not regretted it for a second.

You only live once, so grasp this opportunity with both hands, and please don't feel guilty for having reached the end of your tether.

I am the younger spouse, husband already retired in effect by nearly 65. I can probably retire before he was able to. In my case I am the much higher earner, but I still feel guilt. I like working, just don't think I can do my current role until 67. The pre-retirement roles are reducing though.

My husband has been great in his retirement and I don't have to lift a finger which has given me completely free weekends which has been brilliant.

Would guilt feel worse than how you feel now? You sound very miserable.
Take the leap and give your notice in. You could always look for some other work in the future if you're not happy.

I’m planning to retire at 55. As long as you’ve worked out your finances, go for it! You might find you’re up for some low stress part time work after a bit of a break.

We both retired just before we were 50 to travel before we were too old. Saved instead of spending so we could do it.
Absolutely no regrets, lived in Spain for 20 years where it was much cheaper whilst we did our travelling from there and would go off for 3 months at a time.
My husband dies a couple of years ago and was so happy I did it with him.

If money isn't an issue then why carry on ? I'm toying with the idea, still got to look into the Dosh but for me, I know I would love the spring and summer but might be bored in the long cold days. maybe I'll do volunteering , that would give me satisfaction. Perhaps Op you should write a list of pro's and con's out.that sometimes crystalises the whole question. I don't want to just be a lady who lunches but there will be other things that make your life meaningful. No grandkids here yet sadly , but I do dream of that happening and me helping out regularly. We'll see

DH retired last week at 55. I am going in December when I turn 55, and will be doing one day a week only from September. I don’t feel the slightest bit guilty. Absolutely ecstatic instead (NHS nurse 36 years).

I changed jobs. I went from child development officer to school crossing patroller. Less money but way less stress.

Young people are desperate for jobs , so if you can manage go for it. I’m sure your husband will benefit in other ways and have less to worry about evenings and weekends .

I’m 59, I have just taken redundancy and am effectively retired as I will not be looking for work.

As soon as the decision was made I felt younger & happier. I finished work a few weeks ago and have not given it a thought since.

Because I took redundancy I did get a payout which I can stretch until I can collect a pension which did make the decision so much easier but honestly I would leave if you can.

If you are crying everyday ,that sounds like depression rather than just being fed up with job.
I would definitely do the figures. You might " manage " but do you really want to watch every penny until state pension kicks in?
Up to you but make sure your husband is fully on board and won't become resentful when the money drops.

I took early retirement at 55 because I could. I took my NHS pension and had a year off. Tbh I loved it initially and filled my day with all sorts then felt a bit lonely. So I have gone back to work part time 3 days a week which is plenty. However I also really like my job. It sounds as though you really don’t enjoy your job. There are so many other more valuable things you can do and keep active and keep your brain stimulated. I don’t think you should just give up and do nothing. I met a 91 year old lady the other day who still works 3 days in a jewellers! Keep your brain going and body moving no matter how hard it is!

Menopause? Tried hrt? Testosterone? Same age but gave up work 6 years ago,feel same husband is older,but well paid,but menopause has kicked my butt,but have other autoimmune problems and couldn't physically do my job any more and brain fog only lifted when on testosterone, walk my dogs and garden,have become a bit reclusive but im at peace. I will get my mojo back ,start trying lifting weights,Italian lessons,my husband still teaches Karate as hobby and plays golf,if you can afford it do it. Life is so short,im also having CBT treatment as the joy left me ,all I could think of was how many years was left. Do it if you can.

True. I remember we had a Maths teacher at our school who'd retired as the Head of a boys' grammar, then decided to still be a Maths teacher at our school but not Head

Go see gp if you crying every day.
Take some sick leave and address the crying ?
See a life coach and decide best route forward eg retire . change job . Go part time. etc

I was forced to retire at 58. I was given a very grim diagnosis.
I'm now 60 and recovering.
I had a huge CEO job and I never want one like that again (toxic men). I will do some NED work from September but that's it. I spend much less and I need very little.

This is all so individual isn’t it? I get where you are coming from OP about the guilt. I tried stopping work at 60, but DH still full time at the time and I didn’t feel like I could really enjoy my retirement/do more travel etc if he still had the pressures of his work. I also missed the intellectual stimulation.
Fast forward a couple of years, I got another P/T job which I enjoy and there may be potential for more hours, but now DH has decided to retire by end of this year. I’ll see how I feel after he finishes, but will probably go at some point over the next year and hopefully enjoy it more this time, as he’ll be retired too.
I think we’re all somewhat influenced and “captured” by our individual circumstances re retirement, finances, age gap with partner (if we have one) and their circumstances too. The government have got it badly wrong expecting people to work until 67 - many people just don’t have the physical and mental capacity to continue to this age.

@Unhappyatworkagain does any guilt stem from finally putting you and your needs and wants first for once? I know I felt guilty for prioritising myself over what society expected me to be doing. (I no longer have family or DH left alive). We are conditioned by upbringing and society to always to the right and accepted thing and make sure everyone else is cared for. Well, maybe no is your time to be cared for and to care for yourself.

I would love to be thinking about retirement at 58-60, likely to be nearer 70 unless something drastic happens!!!

my advice to people would be if you can afford to retire then why not? Enjoy your retirement and travel, have hobbies and do things while you’re well enough to do it as nobody knows what’s round the corner.

do excuse me I’m off to buy a lottery ticket 😩

I retired at 68, having worked continuously for 50 years, and still occasionally feel guilty about having so much leisure time. But it’s not rational. If you can afford to retire and have stuff planned for retirement go for it and enjoy it.

Just wondering the same.Dh retires this year.
I'm 60 almost with no friends or hobbies as my hobby is my job.
I have substantial savings due to working a lot of overtime and being frugal to top up state pension.
I can't take the money with me but always feel there is never enough and as we're both home bodies I feel we could become reclusive.
We loved lock down and found it peaceful.

I retired at 60 and love not having to go into work. Your feelings about being "over" learning anything new resonates with how I felt in the run up. Other half is retiring next year after much debate.

We were lucky enough to have been able to pay into several private pensions and make additional voluntary contributions as we can't access our state pension for a few more years yet.

Non, je ne regrette rien!

I left full-time employment after 30+ years when I also got to the point I couldn’t stand it, I was 54. I’ve never looked back and have zero regret - that was my biggest concern. Money is definitely important, but all you need is enough. Good luck x

I retired (semi-retired ) from my teaching job last year, I was 56. I've since done a bit of supply over the past year just to top up my pension and give me a bit of focus to my week. My DP is still working so I'm happy to just do an odd few days of work until we both decide to finally retire.

But not once have a felt guilty, I've loved being retired and being able to choose when I work. After 30 years of teaching I'd totally had enough and couldn't have coped with another year in education.

Once our house sale goes through we'll be able to breathe again. We have enough in retirement but I need to earn something for another two years. That is tricky at 60. I'm also disabled. I'd like something close to home having been a commuter for 35 years. I'm happy in my garden or cooking. As long as I don't have huge bills I'm happy. I have too many clothes so I just buy books now and plants. If you can afford it OP retire. I hated my last two companies. Horrible people and no respect.