Anyone retired early at 59 and struggled with guilt about leaving work?

[Unhappyatworkagain]

I'm 59 and I have had enough of work. I have no interest in going, learning anything new and cry everyday! I dream of retiring early. My husband says I can leave early but I feel so guilty. He works so hard and is well paid for what he does. My problem is that I feel a failure if I quit. I have an expensive hobby that my salary helps with but I know I can't go on feeling like this. I even hoped that my car would break down this morning so I didn't have to go. I've always worked but I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't retain information anymore and feel so unsatisfied and that life is just passing me by! Anyone else taken the plunge and if so did it work or should I just shut up and get on with it? If I retire early I will spend all my time worrying about money!

I was made redundant at 60, it was a horrible experience. I've got another job but have been off ill for the last 6 months with a range of infections from chest infections, to lymphadema to eczema (unless you've suffered from it you really don't understand just how dehabiliting it is). I'm due to go back next week but I don't really want to.

I could start to draw my pension but I'm actually quite scared as it's a huge part of my life and I don't have any real hobbies.

I do, it is bloody marvellous.

I've taken up pottery and now we are coming to the end of the first 5 years, come November we should be able to 'do work' again, so I can if I want to, sell some of my pottery and not just give it to animal charities to auction to add to their income!

I agree and would quit that job at 39 or 49 also, it’s just not for you anymore. Take a break and you might decide to do something else or you might not. Good luck x

Thank you lovely people. You have really helped me realise a few things! If I can get over the guilt I can do this!!!!

What difference does your age make? It’s only a few years and you could run your health down if you keep getting stressed. Do it for your health, it’s an investment into your senior years.

Whats the hobby? Could you do it for cheaper?

My neighbour never worked, she feels no guilt.

@3luckystars Horses! I have two. I have them on DIY livery to keep the cost down. I have also worked and had horses all my life (even when I had 3 young children) and I would love to be able to enjoy them while they are still young and having to get up at 5.30am! There is so much I want to do!

I’m 59 and love my job but my DH is 55 and had enough. We’re both teachers. He’s just done his final week at school and is going to take some time to decide what to do next. I’d rather he was happy and the finances work for now. If your DH is supportive and finances allow then go for it.

Nope. Left work at 58 and didn't look back. Still see work mates and they're all envious.

I’m 55 and I’ve had enough, I don’t feel guilt but I am getting a little pissed off about other people’s comments. Dh wants to continue doing his job - he finds it really interesting and he’s very supportive of me doing whatever I please, we are very well off so money is not a problem. I’m good at filling my time but I am bored with people asking how I’m going to fill my time - I always respond that I’ll be swanning off into the sunset with my fancy man!🙄 what does it matter to them? I really don’t think they are after ideas for their own retirement!😂

I didn't retire at 59 but left my full time job. Until I was 64 (65 is retirement age here) I did a bit of temp work and a bit of part-time work and quite a lot of no work at all, but can assure you that if I hadn't needed to earn money I would have fully retired and never looked back. If your husband is on board there is no need to feel guilty.

I took voluntary redundancy last year at 58. It’s great! Took a few months to adjust, and it felt strange; I did feel guilty for a while and missed some of the people (meet up with a small number of them but most I see are retired), but I’m used to it now.

I left work in my early 50s, no regrets whatsoever.
If the money is workable and you have had enough of work, it is a no brainer IMO.

If it was me I would go PT or find a job that was PT.

I think my biggest concern would be that I regret it and then can’t get back.

There are also a lot of retired people who struggle because they lose purpose and if you’re already feeling a bit guilty now, then you could possibly struggle.

I lost my job back along and was out of work.
I really struggle and it affected my MH, not even the financial side but I realised how much I love being in a high pressure job, helping people and my brain needed to be challenged.

I know many people who literally never retire fully and will do bank/cover work.

I think it completely depends on what you’re like as a person.

Are you able to reduce your hours say for another year or 2 and then decide?

I felt pretty much as you do but the brain fog get a lot better once my HRT was sorted. Is that something that you’ve tried?

Im not sure where you work but in places like the NHS or the Civil Service partial retirement might be an option? That way you can have a lot less pressure and not worry too much about the financial impact on your DH.

If it’s so bad that you’re praying that your car breaks down and crying isn’t good for you. If things are that bad I would talk to my GP to see if there is any medical issue and think about either working in your current job part time or on a different job.

It sounds as though ideally you’d both like to retire together at a similar time?

I am 55 and would like to retire now. Stressful job and getting some negative feedback and while I’m good at what I do, I find it hard to think on my feet as well as I did in stressful situations. Did a webinar and it was awful! I keep looking at my pension pot which is decent for the age I’m at but we still have LOTs of outgoings and kids going to uni soon. I’ll stick it out as long as I can but no longer than age 62 but prefer to go earlier. Still got 7 years on the mortgage unfortunately! FYI my dad retired early at 58 and never looked back. Him and mum would luncheon everyday and go for days out all the time. They died at 75 so glad they had some of them quality time! The fact they died relatively young has put it into perspective for me. Out of all my relatives only one made it to 82 so think early retirement is a must with the family genetics I have!

I swear this whole 'retired people struggle to have purpose' is put about by people who do not want people to retire early and enjoy themsevles.

I think that’s a reasonable consideration. I was with my DU yesterday. He retired at 56, that was 35 years ago!

Lots of us live well into the 80s and some into their 90s.

Agree, it's only ever working people who say it!

I retired at almost 59 , 5 years ago. It never occurred to me to feel guilty. My husband had died 4 years before that so I didn't have the guilt about seeing him working and me at home. I had worked for a very long time in the same job so as there was an early retirement option during Covid, it made sense to take it .
I have had no desire whatsoever to do any paid work even on a PT level since . I'm busy with lots of things and I love being free to do what I want when I want. I didn't detest my job but I hated Sunday evenings for as long as I can remember and I would be counting down the days to the dreaded return to work after holidays. My DH died in a job that he didn't enjoy and never got a chance to retire so go for it , if you can afford it and you feel you can fill your life with other worthwhile things that will fulfil you.

You could be right! I think the best outcome is for people who do have a purpose but that doesn’t necessarily have to be paid employment.

We have a few charities nearby screaming out for volunteers, Brownies, Older People’s Lunch Club and gardening at a nearby NT place.

If the OP has DDogs she could also consider using her dogs as therapy dogs.

I’m planning to work part time from 55. In a few years and then finish by 60.

Dh retired at 53 and feels no guilt whatsoever! He is a trustee of a charity, treasurer for the church and a director at f the estate mgmt company (newish housing estate). He goes to the gym four times per week, does lots minor diy things at home and does a lot of the jobs I used to do when he worked full time.

Unlike you, my DH did it before me.
I wish I’d had the courage to do it sooner tbh but I worried about a big drop in our incomes.
I closely monitored money in, money out, realised it was doable and haven’t looked back.

I retired at 58. My husband is 10 years older than I am so and he had retired a few years earlier, so it made sense for me to go too.

The main issue though was that I was working long hours and was completely exhausted. I left home at 6.45am and usually didn’t return until 8-8.30pm. I have worked much longer hours than that in the past, but it was more manageable in my 20s and early 30s!

I spent at least 3 hours a day commuting. Had I known Covid was just around the corner I’d have carried on a bit longer because I could have worked at home and things would have been a lot more manageable. I could have done that until I was at least 60 and wouldn’t have taken a hit on my pension, but hindsight is a wonderful thing!