Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

I agree with you OP and I hope you get it sorted

It's not so much people disagreeing as people being unable to read or digest basic information. I'd get annoyed at that too if I were OP.

@Middlechild3 you applied for a job that had a shift pattern, that suited you. Things have changed with in the team and yiu now have a full complement of staff. This employees special arrangement has finished and she now has to sort out her childcare. This is her problem, and nothing to do with you. Of course you should be able to do the shifts that were advertised in the job description. Sounds like the management were not happy with this srrangement and are looking to change that now. Good luck. She is the unreasonsble one.

I worked in HR for years. Your colleagues behaviour is not on. Its not something i would have tolerated whilst working in HR. If you both have contracts they legally must be adhered to. HR will not view you as the issue (i wonder if your colleague posted that comment). However HR will certainly look at why the manager is allowing this contractual breach. A good HR team will sort this out for you because they will know the knock on effect on staff and staff retention people like your colleague have.

It was stipulated at interview , the Op is entitled to the rota she applied and was accepted for

You are 100% correct.

It wouldn't matter if it were out clubbing though.

The OP is perfectly entitled to receive the contractual terms she was given when she accepted the job.

Exactly. I cannot grasp anyone not seeing this logic.

Some of the replies on here are batshit! OP’s colleague is a CF. Why on earth should OP’s working life be impacted by the CF who wants to monopolise the Rota to her advantage. I’m sure half of the batshit posts are from CF colleague, and her mates.

Someone tried this is my old workplace, Team Leader agreed HR didn’t. Colleague threw a hissy fit, and got told the Rota’s were needs of the business not for her child care. She tried to call their bluff and said she’d leave. They didn’t stop her.

Good luck OP👍

You should be given the shift pattern in your contract. If there isn’t a set pattern, just some vague statement about ‘mutually beneficial’ you should make it clear that the current arrangement doesn’t work for you.

Although I do agree that if you don’t get a satisfactory answer soon I’d just leave. I’m very invested now so please do come back and update!

I can't understand the comments calling you arrogant etc you are entitled to the shifts you are supposed to get. This colleague has gotten her own way for far to long at the expense of her colleagues which i assume are also pissed off.

She doesn't have a formal agreement and you are quite within your rights to raise this issue to get what you are supposed to get. Another person's situation is not your problem. This mum sounds like she would argue that she has more rights to get all the holiday off because she has kids and fck everyone else. I also get she is only trying to make life work for her and her family but again that is not your problem. If you took a job being told you will get x y and z then you should get that.

I have no idea what world some people on MN live on. Are you out if your probationary period? Speak with your manager and speak with HR if needed. You have contracted shifts and shouldn't be expected to continually change shift patterns to suit someone else.

My daughter works with a couple of people like this, and they have managed to piss everyone off. They seem to think "But I have KIDS!!" trumps every other argument. And if anyone else has kids.....well there is always a reason why their family needs the time off/better shifts more.

They were both scheduled to work Xmas last year (NHS) which they had managed to dodge for several years, and the reaction was epic. DD said there were tears, manipulation, emotional blackmail to try and get people to swap. But because they had pulled this shit for so long, kicked up a fuss to get all the big holidays off etc no one was interested in helping them. DD has no kids and was utterly pissed off at getting all the Xmas/Easter etc shifts and was not subtle in telling them that it was about time they had to do it! Sounds like this woman has got away with it so long she thinks its her right....oh dear, what a shame, never mind!

I worked, years ago, with a woman who managed to get xmas and NY off for about 5 years in a row. As i was PT, I had managed to swerve Xmas day but did do christmas eve and st stephens day plenty of times.
One year, I had visitors, so i applied for the whole thing off, and got it, cos i had never had it before.
My colleague, did not.
She proceeded to msg me, and tell me that because my kids didnt have santa, and she did ( mine were too big at that time) that she should have the time and me not. She actually said, isnt it wierd how you got it and i didnt, you dont mind swapping do you?

I shut her down pretty quick, no time for that shite. But the actual cheek.
Best bit? Our jobs were remote. Like fully at home. She wldnt have to leave the house, even for Santa.

People have the neck of napoleon if you let them.

All families now get “30 hours” childcare funded which I didn’t get till mine turned 3, so she should count herself lucky and make use of this! Yes still a bit to pay but nothing like it was.
Literally missed out on about £7k a year benefit x 4 years so could be £28k better off had I left starting a family till 4 years later!

The world of contrary. If the OP had posted to say she had been forcing her collegue to give her the shifts she wanted, even though they weren't the official shift pattern, because she didn't want to pay for childcare then the same posters would tell her she was being unreasonable. It doesn't matter what the OP is, there are posters who will automatically come out with absolute rubbish to try and show the OP is being unreasonable even when it's patently obvious they're not.

OP, good luck, you don't sound arrogant at all, in fact you are 100% in the right. Come back and update!

A lack of planning on her part does not constitute an emergency on yours. If she thinks you're a easy target like the last person let her realise she is sadly mistaken.
Just stick to your guns. Don't budge. Your time matters too. Meet her with the same attitude as she does others. She wants you in early? "I'll arrive at my designated shift time, just like you do"

I’m not sure why you’re getting a hard time here. You wouldn’t be unreasonable at all to say “one of the reasons I took this job was the 2/2/2 shift pattern. It’s in my contract and I can’t facilitate a different shift pattern around my home life. The odd shift change I can plan around but not on a regular basis.” It’s not your job to save her money on nursery fees!
The only thing is you mention a ‘rough’ 222 or it’s ’something like that’. Is your shift pattern not clear in the contract? I think if not, it might not be quite so clear cut.

Really hope you get your 2/2/2. Can’t believe some of the entitlement on this thread. Please update us once you’ve had your meeting.

This sounds like an NHS job 100% :)) and the fact that you were informed thats this said colleague should be better at her job but yet still there, it tells you that is a lack of management accountability and a toxic environment! Been there, left after 6 months with ACAS and CQC help but that person still works there (been there for 23 years) NHS of course X

Doteycat Just because she will be told that, it does not mean she has to do it, though. These brass-necked people think that they can intimidate everyone.

I would imagine 2 earlies, 2 mids & 2 lates

Good luck. I hope it goes well. I can't see how it couldn't. I agree you shouldn't penalize yourself to enable your colleague. You have entered into a role where you want those hours and you are entitled to have that. Your colleagues worked pattern is up to her manager. Let us know how you get on.

You have much bigger concerns about this job than your colleague if this was an actual conversation had by a manager to a direct report. Its highly unprofessional.

Which means there is likely loads of other employment issues.

If I was her I would be making a claim that her shift pattern has become a contractual clause through application and custom.