Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

You must have parity with your colleagues . Whoever does that rota cannot favour one over the other if u have the same contract . You are not responsible for her family so I would not discuss anything with her , only discuss with whoever makes the rota up . It’s extremely unfair for everyone to be expected to work around her family & kids , everyone needs to take a turn of doing early mornings etc . Sometimes if people have worked somewhere for a long time they can be extremely resistant to change & have a huge sense of entitlement .

you need to approach the person who has made the Rota , saying you have seen the draft and it doesn’t reflect the terms and conditions of your contract. Please can it be amended so you have your 2/2/2 . Don’t mention entitled parent as that’s nothing to do with you . You signed up for a 2/2/2 pattern and that’s why you took the job .

I've found something in the staff handbook re flexible working requests. It states the request cannot impact others in the team, for example in affecting rostering allocation. Useful.

I used to work with someone who always booked Christmas, Easter, half term etc. before anyone else could get time booked. She wasn't even a parent, she was a grandparent minding grandchildren over school holidays so the parents could work. It meant that her colleagues with kids had restricted leave available. I don't recall the mechanics of how it worked but she was extremely unpopular. Not to mention lazy.

Excellent news!!! This should never have been allowed to happen in the first place. Well done for fighting this.

looking at it from the other way, my partner was a civil servant and people with kids always got priority for Christmas and Easter- we don't have children , it really annoyed me we could never have time off before Christmas and between christmas and the New Year- everyone should take their turn, most people have children so it shouldn't give you priority.

Gosh, id love early shifts rather than late

she sounds like an ideal colleague

Absolutely take this to your manager and say you want the shifts the way they are supposed to be.
Your colleague cant have it all her own way. Other people have commitments too.

That's not shift work then is it?

Op, there is nothing wrong in what she is doing. My husband and I did the exact same thing when my kids were little, as does most my colleagues. This is normal. We couldnt afford childcare and our family were unable to help because they also worked. Maybe she has the same problem. Seeing as this was her arrangement before you started, I dont think you should be able to come along and change it personally.

The OP is not requesting any ‘changes’, only that the terms and conditions she signed up to on accepting the role to be honoured.

If management have made an arrangement with a different employee, that is an entirely separate situation for management to address.

If the new ‘shift work’ role OP has accepted were to have been linked to a set work pattern - it should have been advised as such and discussed at interview - it was specifically stated to be based on 2/2/2.

OP needs to be dispassionate in her communications and simply ensure the basic rota outlined in her contract is adhered to.

Any other personnel issues are for HR to sort.

I don’t think that’s the OP’s issue. She applied for a job with a stated pattern and she’s asking for that to be honoured.

I would be speaking to my manager and saying no to working around colleagues request.

Hi. You are wrong in your thinking.

Have you actually read any of the posts on this thread?!

OP has been offered and accepted a job with a 2/2/2 work pattern. She is not being given this shift pattern. Hence the problem

If you got through interview and got a contract based on a roster, then that's what they need to implement. If they wanted to keep her unofficially arranged late shifts, they should have advertised the post with early shifts. She shouldn't be upset with you if you enforce it, but with the company, which advertised a different rota than the one that was being (unofficially) worked.

Some people might need this rotating pattern. For example, if you needed health care and had applied for this role because you wanted to book long physio or hospital appointments in the mornings on certain days but also attend support groups in the evening on certain others. Whatever your reasons, you applied for a role with a rota and whoever is doing the roster is forcing a different pattern.

The fault is with the person doing the rota and their inability to say no and enforce the company's T&C. She's a vocal voice that has got her way but tbh, she's not to blame. She's asking for what she wants and people are giving it to her. The one to blame is the one agreeing and bowing to her, at the expense of inconveniencing other members of the team. Make sure to also put your holidays in as soon as the system allows you to.

Bet your colleagues loved you!

This was not what the OP signed up to. Read the post.

This really. You’re not wrong to be annoyed but she’ll kick up shit if they try and put her back on the rota, and she’ll either get flexible working or they’ll give in as it’s easier to appease her than you.

If you had actually bothered to even skim read the thread you would have taken on board that this is not an arrangement she has with management nor HR, nor would they officially agree to this due to reasons clearly stated in the staff handbook.
Its a situation allowed to develop on the sly from frankly bullying and manipulation of a former colleague who openly admitted to not liking it, but disliking confrontation more.

For the record you assume incorrectly the kids are little, you also assume incorrectly they can't afford childcare.
Both of these facts are, however irrelevant to me, I don't care either way.
I do care that it has the very real potential to impact my life outside of work, in a way that doesn't honour my contract.

I'm actually quite stunned that people like you and her exist. People who think others should bend and adapt to their detriment in order to facilitate people who can't support their non work life effectively for one reason or another.

Colleagues don't owe you anything other than maybe the odd day swap for an emergency or special occasion.

If I could stand up and clap I would.
People like this absolutely disgust me.
And I run my own company, so im not some disgruntled employee.
Not for one moment would I tolerate this kind of carry on from and employee, she would have been reprimanded the first whiff i got of it.
and I am VERY tolerant and flexible. But not at the expense of my other employees.

rtt

Thankyou. Fairness is key.

did you not ‘rrtt’? it would interfere with ops clubbing schedule 😅

Clubbing schedule? Wtf are you on about?

So you didnt read the thread.