Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

As per others: I wouldn't discuss at all with your colleague and if your rota isn't as expected from the interview, just politely explain that you need it to be stable and evenly distributed, as agreed, because of your own 'personal circumstances' and don't elaborate. If anyone asks: "we're all in the same boat and we all have our reasons for needing a stable and fair shift rota". Leave it at that.

On a separate note: yes, exactly. She is taking the piss and bragging about it makes her a target for colleagues now refusing to help her. Let her learn that the hard way.

Clubs - not clubbing. Clubs as in groups that meet for the purposes of pursuing mutual hobbies and interests, not going out clubbing.

You are as selfish and entitled as the OP's work colleague.

I think a lot of people are sympathising with your coworker, instead of you for some reason. If you insist on sticking to your contact, perhaps her DH can have his hours changed to fit around hers instead? Who knows, it might be more convenient that way. Either way, it’s not your fault or problem that she’s been allowed to get comfy in a situation that can’t reasonably continue. So do what you need to do.

What's ‘rrtt’? I can get 'read ... the thread' but that extra 'r' has me stumped.

Righteously read the thread?

Read rigorously the thread?

Rick roll the thread?

Ro Ro Tinder Tits? 🎶

> How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly

Book your shifts before she books hers

Some people on here are being deliberately obtuse!
Your colleague is a CF.

Re-read the thread, as people are insisting they have read it but asking questions or making implications that conflict with the OP’s posts.

Term roster is used by lots of people in the uk. In the NHS to name one place

OP, you are well within your rights to request your contracted terms. Your colleague sounds like she might be a bit of a queen and it certainly doesn’t sound like a fair situation, which is massively important.

But honestly? Glad I don’t work with you either because your tone in response to those who disagree with you is haughty, peremptory and, quite frankly, nasty. Hopefully it’s just coming across that way on text and you’re not really like that in real life!

Edited a typo.

Are you being serious? So it’s ok to mess with everyone else’s rota as she has little darlings, and everyone else just has to suck it up?? No, it shouldn’t impact on everyone else and should be a written agreement with the employer, not just someone ‘buttering up’ the person doing the roster.

Ah, thank you. My error was thinking of 'reread' as a single word.

I'm arrogant too.

Why should she bow done to Mizz CF?? Appeal to the bosses or get your shifts in first. She cannot take them a;ll

Are you her boss?

This is what I would do : I would make it known and say How chuffed I am that this is Settled, that you've always been a morning person and love your new found lazy afternoons. Get it put in your contract. She will want to swap one day , (I bet )but you know what to say.....

You have missed the point in that you would only be doing earlies whilst the colleagues's husband's shifts allowed for it, then you could well be stuck on lates for months.

I would love to know how the colleague has managed to steam roller two of her collegues into working around her DH's shift pattern.

Why? If she took a job on the condition of a certain shift pattern then they aren’t holding up their side. If the employer has allowed one person to control the roster to the detriment of others then they need to sort it or they will have a very high turnover of staff - and recruitment isn’t cheap.

I love the way you are standing up to a pisstaker

Yeah OP you should just be kind. Never mind that there's someone trying to shove you onto a worse conditions than you'd agreed to and signed up for, you should be more careful with your tone!

Bet hubbies shifts stay the same and she works round them. Let him work round hers?

@pouletvous

so if you took a job that was all early shifts and when you started you were put on late shifts every day - would you be ok with that, after all the other person is getting early shifts as they need to for a very important saving money reason

I wasn’t talking about her tone on the situation at work. I fully agree that the colleague doesn’t sound great and that she should enforce her contracted terms. I was pretty clear on that. I was talking about the way the OP was talking to people on this thread that didn’t agree with her. But, like I said, it could be just coming across as terse over text.

@LaughingCat maybe the employee has met her match in the op?

I certainly think the op is well within her rights to not consistently alter her rota for this lady - like she said she might be flexible for special occasions etc and that is being flexible and kind.

I am looking forward to the update from the op when she talks to rota person!