Manager suggested HR meeting about leaving after return from depression leave

[Parrotsandpineapples]

I've been struggling with my mental health for a few years. I've recently returned to work following a 3 month absence for depression and I'm on a phased return but I'm not managing so well. Im still very flat, tearful and just not at my best, or even getting there.

My manager suggested maybe the company I work for isn't the right environment for me. It's got much more corporate lately and the culture is not longer the great place it used to be. During a meeting the other day she suggested a meeting without prejudice with HR to discuss a settlement agreement so I can leave.

Has anyone been in this position before? I'm not sure if they're doing it to help me or they've just had enough of me. I'm feeling so hopeless at the moment I can't think straight. I've got a meeting Monday about it.

There’s some people on here giving misleading opinions. You need proper advice and ACAS is the best place to start.

Some accurate advice...

As your employer is talking about a settlement agreement, they clearly want to terminate your employment. I have only known one person be able to continue their employment long term after a settlement agreement was offered. It is likely that your only options are to accept the agreement and leave with a payout, or reject it and be managed out in some way with no payout unless you take your employer to tribunal and win.

I disagree strongly with @concertinacornflake about taking legal advice before the meeting. It would be a waste of time and money. There is nothing to advise at this stage beyond what you are being told here. Your employer telling you they intend to offer a settlement agreement does not give you any cause for action against them. The meeting is known as a protected conversation, which means you cannot use anything that happens in that meeting to take them to tribunal unless they bully, harass or intimidate you.

The agreement itself will typically include terms stopping you from taking action against your employer and terminating your employment, in return for which you will receive a sum of money. It is also likely to include some clauses around confidentiality and stopping either party (you or your employer) from making derogatory remarks about the other. It should also include an agreed reference that your employer will give to any new employer. As part of this process, your employer should offer a sum of money to cover the cost of getting independent legal advice as the agreement is not binding on you unless you have received such advice. If you take advice before the meeting, you will have to pay for it yourself. Some employers are generous and include enough to allow you to pay for a solicitor to negotiate a better deal for you, but most are not. It is therefore up to you whether to negotiate improvements to the deal yourself or pay your lawyer to do so.

At the meeting, listen to what is said. Don't commit to anything other than going away and considering their offer. In most cases, the employer is prepared to offer a bigger settlement than the one they put on the table initially. The amount you get should be more than you would get for notice pay, holiday pay, etc., but it won't be as much as you would get if you took them to tribunal and won.

Re antidepressants, just offering my personal experience - I’m not a doctor 🙂 I was on SSRIs many years ago and they did nothing for me, but then I was put on Tricyclics and they were amazing!

I don’t know what types you’ve tried already, e.g., you can also get MAOI ones as well, but have a chat with your GP about other types. They don’t prescribe Tricyclics often because they’re considered old, but my word they worked for me!

In the meantime, look after yourself OP and listen to the great advice on here. You’re not a dead weight either - you are worthwhile 💖 Try and give ACAS a call before the end of the week as well because you’re in a vulnerable position going into that meeting on Monday and it sounds like short notice too.

You’ll find a way forward OP 💐

I'm not sure I could cope right now. I am barely functioning on reduced hours and having suicidal ideation so just powering on through might not physically be an option. I also don't want to quit because I like(d?) my job and my team and I'm good when I'm well.

Thanks for all the supportive replies by the way, I am reading them all. And thanks for the kindness from some too, I appreciate it

hello Miners. Busy week at work. Been there just over a year. US company who hire and fire at random. Took over a piece of work from a colleague who clearly was getting frustrated with the customer we are working with as they not giving their input like they should. One of big bosses is ‘friends’ with the customer! I’ve taken it over and they have still not fully given their input. After all they know their own data better than I. So i escalated saying we were in jeopardy of missing the timeframe to my boss who told me to escalate to a VP. I did that and obviously must have led to an escalation to my boss (via the friend of course). We’ve been asking for input for weeks and now I feel they are saying I am the problem!

we had a call with the customer to explain what we needed and our PoC was super apologetic and said she’d cc us on further emails to the person who is to do the work! I came off the call and thanked my boss for the help (even though she was talking over me and doesn’t know much about the deliverable as it’s v European focus). She then says no problem but let’s have a discussion on how we can drive better communication with that team and I know it’s me she’s targeting that at!

I’ve had exceeds expectations on my review so im
annoyed that it’s me who is in the wrong when my and my colleague has been asking for the company’s input for the last 5 weeks! WWYD. I am happy to take ownership of certain aspects but my PoC is clueless! I had to send on timelines my colleague had given her which had her cced and she had no recollection of the timelines.

@Anyonegotacluewhattheirjobsabout - You should start your own thread about this rather than trying to tag onto a thread which is about a completely different subject.

@prh47bridgeadvice is excellent.

If your employer offers a protected conversation, then I'm afraid they want to terminate your employment. Go with an open mind, listen to their offer, and then take some time (and legal advice). Be realistic about the pay off, with only 2 years service, it will not be a life changing amount of money. You don't have to take it, but you'd need a lot of resilience to stay with a company that does not want you.

Thanks for all the supportive replies by the way, I am reading them all. And thanks for the kindness from some too, I appreciate it

My manager asked if I wanted to have a conversation with HR about it all. I didn't realise what it all meant

If you are on reduced hours and not coping that well (by your admission) then is continuing reduced hours an option? From your post you are expected to go full time next week. Go to the meeting but agree with other poster that not sure how useful being unemployed would be to your health at the moment if you accept their offer.

@Lovingbooks yeh I've just agreed a phased return extension so hoping that helps. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as above I'm being told if the meeting is in place it means they want me out but also not to give up my job.

I don't want to leave my job but right now I have very little fight in me

Personally, from what you’ve said, I don’t think they are necessarily trying to force you out.

I think they are trying to be supportive and provide you with options as you are clearly struggling.

Offering you a without prejudice meeting gives both parties a way of discussing you leaving with a settlement package should you wish to go down that road.

It could give you a bit of cash to leave with without working any notice period. But they can’t offer you that without a “without prejudice” meeting as you otherwise you could use them offering it against them.

I don’t think you have anything to lose by taking the meeting and hearing what they have to say.

I understand that you don’t have a fight but whilst knowing the purpose of the meeting don’t be pushed into making a rash decision in the meeting I have experience of management meetings with HR and employers can throw curve balls under the guise of support. I assume you don’t have a work union rep as it does sound like a formal meeting which would benefit you with support of another person with you. I’m glad you have a phased extension to return full time.