Manager suggested HR meeting about leaving after return from depression leave

[Parrotsandpineapples]

I've been struggling with my mental health for a few years. I've recently returned to work following a 3 month absence for depression and I'm on a phased return but I'm not managing so well. Im still very flat, tearful and just not at my best, or even getting there.

My manager suggested maybe the company I work for isn't the right environment for me. It's got much more corporate lately and the culture is not longer the great place it used to be. During a meeting the other day she suggested a meeting without prejudice with HR to discuss a settlement agreement so I can leave.

Has anyone been in this position before? I'm not sure if they're doing it to help me or they've just had enough of me. I'm feeling so hopeless at the moment I can't think straight. I've got a meeting Monday about it.

Gently, they are a business. I think they are being compassionate to a degree but ultimately, you just aren’t able to do the job required.
it’s therefore in your interest I would imagine to cooperate. I think you need a hard think about whether you are actually up to the job in your current state. X

I'd say from a compassionate point of view, that you are clearly not ready to be back at work. You aren't coping, and you need more time to recover. From a business point of view, they need someone reliable, who is physically and mentally there to do the job. If you are struggling to cope, then you aren't fully present in your role, mentally or emotionally. If you go off sick, they have to pay you sick pay, pay someone potentially to temporarily cover you or split your work between your colleagues. None of which is good for their business.

Someone better equipped to answer your question regarding HR will probably come along on here.

Sending hugs ❤️

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time.

At this stage, I think you need to start thinking about what is best for you, as well as what is realistic. Do you think leaving your company and having a fresh start would help your mental health? Would you be able to find other employment?

If so, I would go into the meeting with an open mind and see what they offer.

If not, have a think about next steps. Have you been doing all you can to assist your recovery e.g. counselling, trying to solve any underlying factors linked to your depression, etc? Have your work offered any support? If there's more that could be done, make sure to do it (I know that is easier said than done with mental health issues).Keep in mind that your work won't be able to keep you on indefinitely if your absence levels/performance is not sustainable, so I would consider the settlement if you have tried all other avenues.

I hope things are better for you soon.

I'd take some legal advice before you attend any meetings. You do have legal rights.

I'm sorry your manager has said this to you. They're likely not trying to help you.

It might be right for you to leave but get legal advice.

You have to take legal advice before accepting a settlement agreement anyway. It’s part of taking the settlement.

I would suspect if you don’t take the settlement they will be about to manage you out on capability grounds anyway and then may not need to offer you any payment.

I wish I was better so I could go back to my job, I enjoy my job and my team.

I am on antidepressants, my third type, I do weekly therapy, I've spoken in detail with occupational health. I'm doing everything I can to try and help myself, and get myself back to where I need to be. I think I've just been masking how I've been feeling for so long (I don't think I realised how I was feeling until it all came crashing down) that I am at breaking point.

I don't want to leave my job, the thought of being unemployed is scary, but I agree, I'm just a dead weight to them right now, costing money to the business and additional stress to my colleagues.

Yes, but she can take legal advice before the meeting too. They've bounced her.

Please, please get advice.

You are not a dead weight, you're a valuable human with a health condition.

They are not really doing it to help you. They want you out. This is why they are talking about a settlement agreement. Without prejudicial means neither party can use the contents of the meeting at an employment tribunal.

They will probably want you to go quietly and waive your right to make an unfair dismissal claim, in return for a settlement payment.

You have to take legal advice before signing anything and employer normally pays for you to receive specific legal advice on the settlement agreement they are offering.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much @Parrotsandpineapples

They’re definitely not doing this to help you, they want you to leave and want you to agree to accept a pay off in exchange for settling / waiving any claims you may have against them for managing you out.

I’m a lawyer and use to deal employee issues in house, and I also have a chronic joint condition so I’ve had to walk this line carefully myself when I’ve been struggling with it.

The reason companies offer a settlement is that under English employment law they have to make ‘reasonable adjustments’ to accommodate an employee’s ‘disability’. But if they make those reasonable adjustments and the employee still can’t perform their role because of their disability, then they can legally fire the employee. However what amounts to a reasonable adjustment and what is a disability isn’t defined - it can sometimes eg include depression - so ultimately these cases often end up in an employment tribunal. Those decisions are public and cost money so many employers prefer to settle and move on.

Do you think there’s a prospect of you being able to return to work if they make the adjustments you’ve suggested? You said you’ve seen occupational - just be very careful what you say to occupational health. They are positioned as being there to help you, but ultimately they are employed by the company to assess whether or not you’re fit to work, it’s protection for the company in the event it leads to a claim. It sounds though like occupational health here made some recommendations and didn’t say there’s no way you can perform the role.

Do you agree that the company isn’t the right environment for you? Obviously there’s a reason your manager wants that. But I think if it’s possible try to get some legal advice before the meeting. A phased return sounds reasonable to me, and you’ve only just started back right and they’re already suggesting it’s not going to work. I know someone who successfully returned to work after a nervous breakdown (he had a year off) but it was very much a phased return which took time. He’s still at the company 4 years later and doing well now

If you feel like this role is contributing to your struggles in any way or is a bit toxic, you may be better off taking a settlement that will cover you until you find a new job. But if you think they’re not giving you a fair shot at a return, I would speak to a lawyer

Edited as sent to soon: there will be brighter days ahead, sending hugs xxx

The free booklets from mind are a godsend, you make an order however small and use to be able to select mh booklets with a code.

I was off for a month last year and directed to Able Futures despite having a physical injury that was operated on, little knowing they would become allies with fact sheets and positivity- I didn’t receive a back to work interview or occ health from my public sector employer and as much as Able Futures caused distress at first there attitude was what causes you to be away from work with mental health (huh), they became invaluable monthly saints in just listening when I later encountered disgusting management.

I'm offering a different perspective which may help you get back on track. You are not a dead weight to them and you are not draining them, you are a human being. This could be a chance for you to really improve at work and tell the depression to do one ✌🏻 Btw antidepressants never helped me they just gave me brain zaps and insomnia.

The job market isn’t great atm. I’d do what you can to keep your job.
Unless the settlement is 2/3 years salary or you are wealthy and don’t need a job.
Can you do part time hours?
Being unemployed in a crap job market isn’t going to make your life any easier.

They want you out to suggest it, but they may genuinely believe you are better taking a few months salary and resting up before starting a new job.

But the current job market would have me clinging on to my role for dear life.

Have the meeting and see what they offer but I’d say no thanks, and force myself back to work even if it’s only a few hours every day.

Sending big hugs OP.

You are a wonderful person and not a dead weight, try not to lose sight of yourself as a person! Work and your job doesn’t define your worth. ❤️

Nobody here knows the genuine intention of your workplace either.

I work in HR but different places have different policies so there will only be so far anyone can advise here without knowing those and the full ins and outs.

A without prejudice conversation doesn’t mean you have to agree to anything but as others have suggested, getting some advice beforehand would be best.

I would be thinking of reading the sickness policy for your work place, understanding any occupational or statutory sick pay remaining, considering what reasonable adjustments and support are in place to help you return, such as a phased return or stress risk assessment if relevant.

Are you part of a union? They would be able to support if you’re a member, otherwise ACAS is a good start point too.

Thanks for the support and advice. I will give acas a call and possibly postpone the meeting so I have some breathing space

I left my workplace with a settlement last year.

I was struggling with depression and the work environment was toxic and my manager failed to support me when I returned from sick leave and started bullying me.

I lodge an official HR complaint for disability discrimination and I then suggested a settlement.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to leave. My health definitely got better once I left that place.

I would go to the meeting to hear what they have to offer then tell them you are going to review their offer and get some advice. ACAS can help or you can also ask your employer if they will pay for you to get the potential agreement reviewed by a solicitor.

If you take a settlement also remember to get the wording of a reference agreed as part of this.

This!

I think once you get to the stage of the company offering a settlement it is clear that they want you out and They will find a way to dismiss you anyway based on the fact that you are not performing well in your role even with reasonable adjustments (phased return).

So you might as well negotiate the best possible settlement.

I used to give these / manage these.

Lean in, get the best deal and get out.
Otherwise you will have 3 long miserable months on a pip before being exited with nothing.

They should pay for your lawyer, make sure iit includes pre-agreed reference wording.

FYI while you can postpone but there's no real reason to.
You will just go in, some bland chit chat and they will present the offer.

You say "thanks I am going to go away and think about it".

You can also ask to record for your records so you can listen back

How long have you worked there? More than 2 years?

How long did you return to work? Maybe you just need longer?

You should take the meeting. This could be the best thing for you. They are doing it out of compassion as if they really just wanted you out there are other, worse routes they could take.

Take someone along with you for the meeting. A friend or a partner. As you’re probably not in the best frame of mind to take in everything that will be said.

Dont agree to anything in the meeting, take time after the meeting to reflect and negotiate the best position for you.

I've been on a phased return for 4 weeks. Back full time next week. I've worked there over 2 years.

I asked if I could take someone to the meeting and was told no.

Is unemployment going to help your depression?

I appreciate your struggling but if it were me, I’d try and keep the job by giving the return to full time a go. In the most basic possible way, you can feel flat and miserable at home being broke or you can feel flat and miserable at work whilst being paid. It may actually help with your recovery.