Anyone else struggling to juggle working from home and young children?

[OrangeSodaCrab]

How does everyone work from home with little kids? I have a wfh job with a 12 year
old, a 10 year old, a 7 year old and a 3 year old. I can’t stop working because of the mortgage but I absolutely hate working and juggling it all. Not to mention that when my little one is off sick from nursery, I’m having to juggle calls with him at home, no doubt my manager has noticed! I really want to stop working :( but feel backed in a corner, can anyone relate?

How does everyone work from home with little kids?
They don't. You can't do your job and parent at the same time, one of those tasks will be neglected if the other is being done correctly.

You and their father need to arrange childcare and take leave when a kid is off sick, you'll end up with a disciplinary or being fired.

I understand that during COVID the rules were different but we have to make a business case for wfh as it’s seen as a privilege, and if it transpired that someone was using it to avoid childcare costs etc, it would immediately stop and the person could be disciplined.

It’s one of the reasons we’ve been called back into the office. So many people were taking the piss with no childcare at all!

Oh I think I just worded this all badly. Apologies as I’ve been quite stressed.

it’s not wfh rage baiting? or anything, it is just work/parenting life.

I was just looking for anyone who can relate that it feels pretty difficult to manage it all. But thank you everyone for your perspectives and it’s been really helpful.

Reading some of the comments saying I’m ‘rage baiting’ and how my employer shouldnt be letting me work with a sick child, has actually made me so damn grateful now for what I have.

I was not at all ‘rage baiting’ or whatever on earth this term means, I came online tbh just looking for some mum support. But after reading some of these comments clapping back at me I’ve realised that I do have it good, and generally I am fortunate enough to even be in this position.

I wish everyone well!

love from your ‘WFH rage bait’ girl 🙂

I'm not sure this is what the OP is saying though, because she does mention nursery, I think her dilemma is what to do when her youngest is off sick from nursery, but her post isn't particularly clear. With my employer, like most of the others, you would have to have child care in place (this is not negotiable) but if the child is ill then there is some flexibility

And phoning someone who is obviously wfh and trying to wrangle children is really annoying and is going to elicit complaints.

i don’t even let my cats in the office when I’m on a call (except to one colleague) because they love to show off during video calls 😂

FYI I don’t have 0 childcare at home when he is off sick. Absolutely not that type of worker. I live with extended family so there is childcare at home when they’re off sick. And if they’re super sick and stuck to me I will always take a day off work. I would never take the piss as it’s unethical. I implied that juggling calls meant juggling work responsibilities whilst you ‘know’ your kid is sick? That’s a mental
load in itself right…Anyway just clearing the tone! Please choose kindness :!

@OrangeSodaCrabi think your thread title is misleading because it implies wfh is a specific part of the struggle, when obviously it’s easier than adding in a commute and being out of the house all day. I would imagine wfh makes things a little easier in that you can pop laundry on, put the bins out, prep dinner etc during your breaks! Obviously when a child is sick and can’t be in childcare, that’s a specific pressure but that applies whether you wfh or outside the home- you need to take time off to look after them. Your workplace surely has a policy about dependents?

i suspect the main issue is you have 4 children with quite large age gaps and very differing needs. I imagine they’re in different forms of childcare, as they range from secondary school to preschool age plus inbetween. Obviously the logistics of that are trickier than if they’re all in after school club together, but it is what it is. I had 3 kids within four years, extremely busy too but at least they went through each stage as a little gang. I think a big age range must be hard to navigate. But I can’t see any particular reason why wfh is an issue. It’s just part of juggling family and work life as a working parent

Ok I see it now. I actually wrote out my thread and then the ‘AI’ generated a title for me and I hit send. Definitely misleading now that I read it back. But you’re right it is what it is. Life is good and tbh in this hour of posting I am incredibly grateful for everything. I’ve realised my post is so negative and also very much like a quarter of the story which doesn’t help all the internet mamas trying to dissect the situation here as its like 10% of the situation. Anyway, lots of love and thank you all for your responses.

You literally said “Not to mention that when my little one is off sick from nursery, I’m having to juggle calls with him at home”

“And no doubt my manager has noticed” as if to say she’s not being transparent about the challenge at home that could be impacting work output.

It was altogether an odd OP wasn’t it! If a child is off sick and needing care, the OP should be upfront with the manager, not hoping they won’t notice!

from a later post, she said she lives with extended family. I imagine having 4 kids ranging from secondary to nursery age plus living with extended family and working from home all the tIme Is the real pressure- not whether a kid is sick! Sounds very stifling; I’d be wanting to get out to work tbh!!

Men seem to do it fine. Maybe there are some clues there……. 🤔

I know a man who drops everything to ‘wfh’ when his wife is ill (despite her being on mat leave). He clearly is looking after the children while he ‘works’, not very professional when clients are paying him a lot of money and he’s trying to speak to them while his child is whinging.

Work is work - why was OP juggling calls with a sick kid then denying she was doing childcare at the same time?

I think this kind of thing is what has prompted the ‘back to the office’ thinking for a lot of companies. Meanwhile those who don’t do it have to go out of their way to prove they don’t take the piss.

when my children are sick I always wfh, most reasonable employers allow that. I obviously make up any time if needed. Other than that my children attend breakfast and after school clubs. Holiday clubs in the holidays, I am a single parent and I am fortunate enough to qualify for universal credit to help with the costs. If you aren’t eligible for that check out tax free childcare which will reduce fees by around 20-25%

Wow I think that is so harsh. Being on mat leave doesn’t prevent you from being ill. Looking after a baby when you are really poorly is impossible. What else could they do in that situation? In some situations compassion is required. Luckily for me I have an understanding boss (and colleagues) who understand when I need to wfh if my children are poorly. Fortunately it doesn’t happen often.

Well he could take a day off instead of doing a half arsed job. Plenty of parents do.

I think it was always going to be a challenge, especially with 3 DC and working, especially if full time hours.

Having an unwell DC takes up more emotional and mental plus potentially physical capacity. For the older ones they can understand more, so from that point of view it will get easier in a couple of years.

Perhaps this was one of those times it would have been better to communicate with your boss and agree a plan - such as parental leave or lighter workload, meetings you could reschedule for example.

Are they aware you have at home support from family for childcare? I think that would be reassuring for them to know that you are still able to work, but may need to work more flexibility and for example to reschedule calls.

If you are able to have more of an honest dialogue it would help manage expectations and reduce the stress of appearing perfect.

WFH and having childcare from extended relatives at home gives a lot more flexibility plus on the surface at least, seems like you have a supportive employer.

I’ve done a mix of both and WFH is actually much easier mental load wise and juggling
especially regarding timings of school and nursery runs - however you do miss out on adult companionship, support from other parents (less isolating) and being in a different environment for a while. Is there any opportunity for hybrid working?

You’re not alone in feeling like this, so many of us are just getting through it day by day. So, anyone would struggle in that situation. If you can, it might be worth having an honest chat with your manager about flexibility.

You’re very fortunate to wfh and have family support. Me and dh have neither but still manage without complaining.

My company fired someone who was repeatedly looking after a 6 year old while WFH.