To winder if it's fine fir someone on a junior management level to have a bit of fun with more junior colleagues?

[Chefpig]

The reason I ask is my manager is formal. He's told me before that I shouldn't be friendly with those who are my junior and to cut the banter out. The banter is me just talking and the occasional laughter with them. I believe I am well liked amongst colleagues and respected. I work very hard, often logging on out of hours.

Since he said that I've kept myself to myself, however just before Christmas, all the work was done, phones weren't ringing and there was a skeleton staff. All the managers were off and most other staff were. My colleagues and I had a bit of fun and sang a song. Now I'm afraid I'm going to get pulled for it.

If you are a manager, what would your view be?

Well it depends what you mean by "a bit of fun" doesn't it?

If you sang "jingle bells" and used your keys and tapped the desks for accompaniment, that was fine.

If you sang "bigboss the wankman" to the tune of Frosty the snowman, that was not fine.

Banter is almost certainly not fine.

Your boss is an idiot. Old school hierarchical management style.

you are people, of yourself you can have fun so long as it remains appropriate for the workplace, and you remain in a position where people don’t take the kick because you’re friendly. But that’s a them issue, not a you issue.

I don't think I am alone in a bit of side-eye whenever anyone uses the word "banter". It seems to be a wink-wink, nudge-nudge shortcut for chit chat that verges on unprofessional (in a workplace), -ist (of all kinds), possibly sexualised etc.

But either way, if my boss has had a cause to specifically mention this type of behaviour with me, I'd take it as a very timely warning shot and pack it in immediately. You can still be friendly and part of the team, but without whatever you were doing to attract the reprimand.

If your boss has warned you about it before, its not appropriate in your workplace. If its noticeable enough someone higher up is talking to you about it that's a warning shot.

Generally I think friendly is fine and workplaces work better when people get along, "banter" is very much know your audience and air on the side of caution if you aren't sure.

It was just a bit of a singsong. Literally a few minutes of singing and goodwill to all men (and women).

I think you can be fun, as long as you don’t let that blur the boundaries and then find it impossible to manage the team effectively or discipline as required.

I’ve always managed to maintain an air of professionalism despite having fun at work events or a laugh in the office.

Bit weird to be afraid to get 'pulled on it' and then go ahead and do it anyway.

Who do you think is going to report you out of the very few colleagues present?

Depends on the workplace and how everyone felt about it. “Banter” and “a bit of fun” are red flags for me. And frankly, even if there were no issues with it, it’s a bit daft to ignore your boss!

My manager had an issue with me being 'friendly' previously in the office with people my junior. My 'friendly' was never banter as I'm never offensive and I think banter often can be. I really, really watch myself now and rarely engage in friendly conversation eg asking about their weekends or families with colleagues these days. I also worry like mad if I have been chatty when no managers are around or have done something like singing with the last colleagues standing.

How do the other junior managers behave?

I'm usually on my best behaviour since his comments last year. Everyone was just in a jovial mood and I let my guard down and forgot myself.

It varies really. Some senior managers though are very 'bantery'. Some managers on the same level as me behave while my manager is around, then is more talkative and jokey when he is not.

I get carried away sometimes and was elated that a break was coming up. There were good spirits amongst colleagues.

Some colleagues were talking about it today. My manager wasn't around but may hear about it. That's why I'm afraid I'm going to get pulled for it.

I think my colleagues respect my authority. None present were people I line manage.

My manager seems to think that even a conversation with someone about their family or their weekend is too friendly, even though he does it himself. He'd definitely look down on us singing a christmas song. Especially me joining in.

Thank you. He does seem to be the hierarchical type whereas I'm friendly but respected in my position. Tbh, he isn't well liked.

I was on executive committee at work. I always had fun inc banter, nights out and singing songs at work not only with my team but many others. 700 plus people. Your boss is a knob.

I don't know what you want us to say really.

Either ignore your manager or take heed.

There aren't really many choices are there?

I did take heed then I engaged in some fun. That's what I'm afraid of. That my few minutes of fun is going to get me in trouble.

Banter in the workplace is a terrible idea - no matter who you are.

it’s wise advice from your manager for you to establish distance and professionalism between you and more junior colleagues

however I can’t imagine a Christmas sing song will cause bother unless the lyrics were inappropriate

Thank you. That's reassuring. My manager can be a difficult person. I'm always afraid of doing something wrong. Fun with colleagues more junior isn't allowed in his eyes I find. Managers much higher than him are much more laid back about these things though.

And it might 🤷‍♂️

I could do without the bother. I just let my guard down tbh and got carried away in the spirit and the excitement of Christmas between my colleagues and I.

Well you can't change it now.

You do sound overly concerned though.

You sang a few words of a song, you didn't smear yourself in trifle and run round naked shouting "Merry Christmas you filthy animals".

Are you always this anxious?

Well what did you sing