Nuerodiverse colleague

[moana35]

I am having a few problems with a colleague at work. She is neurodiverse so adjustments have had to be made but these adjustments are meaning that myself and my colleagues are doing alot more than we did before she was employed.

She is very black and white about time so she will not be at her desk until her digital smart watch says the start time on her contract and again she leaves at the exact time she is supposed to finish even if in the middle of something. Lunch is an hour but due to needing to re compress for the afternoon she needs to take 75 minutes as she needs to go for a walk and eat. She has to sit in front of a window which means all our places in the office have been changed.

From Monday we are not allowed to drink coffee at our desks anymore only tea as the smell makes her gag.

Aside from this she is a very good worker and gets her work done to a good standard but it is impacting on the morale of the team. She is also exempt from training mornings if they are "small room " based as she can't sit in a room with a big group of people. She will be allowed to do her training online.

Management say as she declared her nuerodiversity at interview these adjustments have to be made for her I get reasonable adjustments and I have an autistic son but are these adjustments reasonable to the rest of the team.

If we took 15 mins extra for lunch or asked our colleague to not drink coffee I am sure we would be spoken to by management,

Has anyone else come across this in the workplace.

A person with specific needs has requested adjustments that the employer has agreed to. If you have an issues it's with your employer and whether they have assessed whether the requests are reasonable or not. Your issue isn't with the person laying out their needs. Jesus fucking Christ.

I'd be grateful if someone could explain to me why a neurodivergent person has to have adjustments about coffee.
I've had a very sensitive sense of smell all my life. Lots of smells make me feel sick, like paint and cheap perfume. The perfume is the one I find most bothersome eg on public transport. However, I learn to ignore it. It still upsets me but I try not to think about it.
What is it about a neurodiverse person that means they can't do that?
Perhaps I'm neurodivergent as I really dislike certain smells.
In which case, how come I manage to ignore smells that make me feel sick?

It hasn't been explained why the 15 minutes extra lunch break is affecting the 3 other people though.

And unless someone is qualified to make these decisions, I don;t think anyone can say what is reasonable or not. I made the likeness if a colleague delevepled IBS. Would you begrudge them what amounts to 5 mins per other employee to use the toilet?

I think that if the OP really thinks it is affecting their workload so detrimentally (I still don't know how) then they need to talk to HR. Or speak to ACAS about unfairness in the work place. That they are somehow the ones being put at a disadvantage because of the 15 minutes. Someone will either be able to explain, or if it's not reasonable, it will be put right.

What impact, apart from the coffee ban? There is no material adverse impact apart from the coffee ban.

• A few weeks ago, there were three people answering all the calls. There are now four, apart from a fifteen minute period each day where there are still three. This is fewer calls per day per person overall, which is a beneficial impact.
• A few weeks ago, three people did X amount of work. Now four people do that work. Less work per person is a beneficial impact.
• Leaving and starting dead on time has zero impact on the others in the office.
• If you think that one person having to move desk once constitutes a material adverse impact, let me introduce you to a common workplace practice called "hot-desking". I have moved buildings, let alone desks, five times in the last four years. If grown-ass adults are getting attached emotionally to a desk that they don't even own, they really need to grow up and get a sense of proportion.

The OP, who is not the ND person's line manager, wants to dictate when her peer starts and ends work, is acting possessive about a desk that she doesn't even own, and is applying the same entitled thinking to the reduced workload as someone watching the Budget and complaining "ooh nice, I got a tax cut... hey, that guy got a bigger tax cut than me!"

It's very clear to me who has Main Character Syndrome here.

You have an autistic child yet you won't accept a neurodivergent person is dealing with things an NT person is spared?

Sensory overwhelm is very real and smell and too many people etc can be extremely hard to deal with, hence the accommodations that are her right.

Starting on time is sensible, and a sign of good timekeeping and a sense of self worth. I'd generally do that and don't see a problem with not starting before they start paying you. (Though if she's cutting off calls at 5pm I can see that might be a customer service issue!)

The extra fifteen minutes - it could be seen as petty - but that's an extra five hours a month off that she's getting, while you're all covering for her. I'd speak to your union on that one.

I wasn't mocking. If you'd read the pp's like I said, you would get the context. This whole thing is about some saying that not drinking coffee and having an extra 15 mins is a reasonable adjustment because of the extreme stress it causes the woman in question, and this pp and an other saying that the nt employees are feeling under stress having to make these adjustments and no one knows how these things affect THEM so severely.

I stand by what I said. I read the comments and I know the context, if that pp wants to bring suicide into a conversation about those things (yes, they did, not me), then they need to see a medical professional as they are at crisis point.

For the same reason that I have to cut labels out of the necks of clothing: I can't just filter out the sensation. Some people can't filter out the sensation of the smell.

Autistic people are prone to ARFID, avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder. ARFID sufferers will starve to death sooner than eat food that feels wrong, because they can't filter out the texture or taste sensation and that trumps days of hunger. I suspect that ARFID and the issues affecting the other senses are aspects of an overall inability to filter sensory inputs.

The only thing that would probably irk me is no more coffee at the desk, as that would genuinely destroy morale for some (and I probably self medicate somewhat with caffeine lol). All the other things are reasonable adjustments for someone with a disability.

The starting work and finishing on time is actually excellent, if work expects you to sit at your desk and start logging in 5 mins before 9 every morning or only start logging out at 5 so you leave your desk at 5 past, they need to start paying you the extra 10 mins a day or allowing flexi time for it so you can have longer lunch breaks or take an extra coffee break.

15 minutes extra lunch break because someone needs to decompress because of their disability is 100% fair and not being able to attend group meetings if its possible to do training online is also very reasonable.

Tbf if morale is getting affected by no longer allowing coffee at desks maybe 15 minute paid coffee breaks for all staff could be implemented?

Considering she's good at her job and her work is to a high standard I'm not sure why she's effecting the rest of the team or making your jobs harder (apart from the coffee issue) honestly I couldn't get mad at the extra 15 minute break or needing to clock out on time for a disabled colleague. Xx

It's not reasonable to expect others to do more than their contracted hours to finish assigned work, but not the disabled employee.

Why would you think that was reasonable?

Because this is not the Stone Age

Yeah all these wouldn't bother me, but I want to accept that the OP is bothered and not dismiss them. It's on them to figure out if they can change being bothered or not. The coffee rule I would absolutely detest. These two cups a day at my desk make my day so much better. Id probably move desks somewhere else so I can have my coffee.

Though if she's cutting off calls at 5pm I can see that might be a customer service issue!

No more than the tannoys at B&Q telling me that the store closes in ten minutes and I should head to the checkout now. Staff have the right to finish on time.

As PP have said, you don't know someone's situation. Someone might need to finish on time before their pay-and-display parking runs out, or to catch a bus. I've lived in places where the buses were half-hourly and the last one home left town before 18:00.

The same way my ND child had to have adjustments made because their sensory sensitivity made them be completely unable to cope with certain sounds or too many busy colours on classrooms walls.

I hate some smells. Some loud sounds bother me. Same if there are too many things going on. I'm not autistic though, so I have can put them out my head for the most part, the same as you can.

My child had to get a special desk (oh I can practically hear a pp foaming at the mouth after her mentioning special desks) because they literally could not cope with all the stimulation. Adults learn to mask to a certain extent so won't be having meltdowns the same way, and some stimuli reactions may improve - but some don't, and asking for such simple little things to manage them IS them managing them.

You not being able to understand why an autistic person can;t ignore certain things is like a man asking why a woman can't ignore certain things - because you're not them.

If an autistic adult was non verbal and still needed personal care, flapped their hands, rocked, had to do the same thing repeatedly, you wouldn't chastise them for it and call them a baby, would you? (Not you personally, people in general). But because an autistic person is more able, they are trying their hardest to fit in to a world not built for them simply because their brain works differently, they're making it up and should just try harder? The disability is the same, they're just on a different part of the spectrum.

This is why they call it an invisible disability and people are so so cruel and dismissive of it.

My adult child 'looks' normal. Can talk away to you quite the thing. Her whole life and my whole life will always be affected by her autism. She will never live independently. Every future plan I make with my employment, housing etc will have to fit round her until I die.

But people say 'well, she doesn't look autistic. She can do this. You just need to teach her. She just needs to learn'.

I have been so upset reading this thread. I really, really thought in 2025 people were less ignorant (again, not aimed at you personally, you asked a question and I've went off on a tangent! Sorry)

My 20 something year old is living in a world where people have these shitty opinions, then when I'm gone she's going to be stuck with the offspring of ignorant, nasty, selfish people.

No, I explained the context later on. Twice. Twice. Twice!!

Have you ever asked about a reasonable adjustment for yourself?

Reasonable adjustments have to be considered for anyone that asks for them, not just those that are ND.

Why do you think it's reasonable for the non disabled people to be expected to do more than their contracted hours? NEITHER should be expected to do this.

It's not reasonable to expect others staff to do more than their contracted hours to finish assigned work

FTFY. Unpaid overtime is a form of wage theft.

OP, I think you have to separate out what are really issues for you guys, and what are your employers issues.

Your college is totally within her rights to be rigid about start and stop hours. You guys should be too and this might be a good opportunity to start. If your employers complain point out that the new hire is doing it and you've all realised it should happen. If there are tasks (like client calls) where that's not possible how is it new college manages it?

As far as extra time at lunch. She really should not be getting paid more for less work, unless you all negotiate your salaries individually in which case it's par for the course. However - it's not really something you ask. I think you need to accept here that if your employer wants to pay her more for less work, that's their prerogative. Possibly it might impact how you feel about your employer though.

. If you guys are under more stress in terms of finishing work, because she is slow or away from her desk, that may be an issue. Of course all workers are not able to work at the same pace. So this has some subjectivity. However, if you're expected to do extra, you need to talk to your employer. They need to take steps to mitigate it, or pay you more for the extra work.

The coffee thing is unreasonable. This is an area where she needs to accommodate against her preferences, or it's just not the environment for her, just like everyone else has to manage their own aversions, even very strong ones. I can't bear noise, so there are a whole lot of jobs I could never manage. I very deliberately found a quiet job.

Yes, later. I responded to the initial comment.

Yes, it needs to be addressed. but it's nothing to do with the new woman's disability..

I agree. The ignorance on this thread has been really awful to read. I have three close family members with autism and have commented three times and my comments have been ignored. Really thought that people would be more aware but obviously not! Seeing how my absolutely beautiful grandchild who outwardly looks and appears NT struggles daily with sensory issues breaks my heart.

That's the employers fault for expecting other employees to do things they're not paid for, and the employees for accepting it without question.

What does that mean?

This is why so many people are finding adjustments like this frustrating. They have employers taking liberties, like not paying them for work. They put up with it because they need a job.

Then a few people get out of these expectations because they happen to be in a position to say they can't cope due to certain diagnoses.

This is bound to cause massive discontent. And probably significant piss taking.

Then take my two clarifications for context please as the point I wanted to make. Your post was highly offensive. I was really shocked that this came from someone who put so much energy and passion into advocating for ND people. Completely mocking a serious medical issue. Double standards. Hypocrisy. I find it hard to see how my initial post on this was understood the way you took it.

I'm unsure this really answers the question.
Regarding ARFID, I've just google Has Anyone Ever Starved to Death From ARFID. Google thinks not, but I'm always willing to learn.
However, my question is not about ARFID. It's about the smell of coffee.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh: I have never had the chance of objecting to the things that make me feel unwell, so I've been forced to adapt.
We're not talking about someone who is starving to death. We are talking about someone who really doesn't like the smell of coffee.
I regularly sit next to young women on public transport who take the opportunity to put their make-up on and spray themselves and everything around with cheap scent that makes me want to vomit for quite a while. I'm not filtering it out either.
My upbringing is such that I'm nevertheless unable to point out to them that their behaviour is antisocial.
I can't see anyone could possibly feel worse about such smells than I do, as I find them unbearable, but I somehow manage to sit there and live to tell the tale, unpleasant though it.
Why can neurodiverse people not also be expected to do the same?
Same goes for clothes labels. I hate them and have recently learned to cut them out. Previously , I just put up with it.
Sorry, but I think it's a load of baloney and that's because I've always suffered from all these sensitivities but in my day nobody thought about all these conditions and quite honestly, there wasn't that level of interest in my finer feelings going on around me.