Nuerodiverse colleague

[moana35]

I am having a few problems with a colleague at work. She is neurodiverse so adjustments have had to be made but these adjustments are meaning that myself and my colleagues are doing alot more than we did before she was employed.

She is very black and white about time so she will not be at her desk until her digital smart watch says the start time on her contract and again she leaves at the exact time she is supposed to finish even if in the middle of something. Lunch is an hour but due to needing to re compress for the afternoon she needs to take 75 minutes as she needs to go for a walk and eat. She has to sit in front of a window which means all our places in the office have been changed.

From Monday we are not allowed to drink coffee at our desks anymore only tea as the smell makes her gag.

Aside from this she is a very good worker and gets her work done to a good standard but it is impacting on the morale of the team. She is also exempt from training mornings if they are "small room " based as she can't sit in a room with a big group of people. She will be allowed to do her training online.

Management say as she declared her nuerodiversity at interview these adjustments have to be made for her I get reasonable adjustments and I have an autistic son but are these adjustments reasonable to the rest of the team.

If we took 15 mins extra for lunch or asked our colleague to not drink coffee I am sure we would be spoken to by management,

Has anyone else come across this in the workplace.

Ableists gonna be ableist. I feel sorry for the disabled kids growing up in a world in which people like that exist.

It’s very sad. But I will not stop calling it out for their sake. I hope the world becomes kinder.

Pardon? We're talking about coffee and the PP said people don't realise how much things affect others (when we're talking about the stress not being allowed to drink coffee at your desk) and they go on to commit suicide. If anyone is minimising suicide it certainly wasn't me. The link was clear and you're pretending not to see it to jump on the nasty bandwagon to put down disabled people.

You can tell it's a Friday night with some of these posters!

I hope the world becomes kinder to everyone who's experiencing difficulties.

Much more decent than your personal attacks.

Agreed. But I don’t see unkindness from the ND on this thread.

No, that poster was talking about how people who commit suicide often don't show any signs of difficulties. Then a comment came in about if they are finding it so hard to be without coffee they feel suicidal then they need MH intervention. An absolutely awful thing to say that completely minimised the truth about suicide. No-one is feeling suicidal because they can't have a cup of coffee.

Such good lived experience- hope the OP takes this on board as appreciate it is hard to fathom if you are not neurodiverse

At least one ND poster has been unkind to me, simply for having a different opinion to them.

Isn't it the other way around? The OP is experiencing changes at work following reasonable adjustments for someone else. They impact a lot of other people.

Peri mentioned suicide as a consequence of unbearable impositions from a cruel world. We are in a thread where being asked to drink coffee away from your desk is being deemed an unbearable imposition. The linking of the two is implied by the context.

If:

• Autistic burnout
• Your workload
• Your cheating spouse
• Debt
• Your employer's ban on coffee at your desk
• Impending redundancy
• Or any other reason, no matter how big or trivial to an onlooker

induces suicidal ideation, please please get help. Your problems are temporary. Death is forever.

Was your opinion perhaps being dismissive of their lived experience?

@BellaCriesAndThatsAlright look, you threw a hissy fit on this thread and called others names because you didn't agree with them. Be a ND adult, take accountability and apply whatever coping strategies you use. Coming from someone who had to learn to regulate very late in life.

No. But they seemed to think it was fine to be dismissive of mine.

No - the implication is that not being able to drink coffee is a pain and unfair. An unbearable imposition is your wording, no- one else's, and to mock that by bringing suicide into it is disgraceful.

No I didn't. I talked about struggles, many of which aren't visible and not related to ND. My point was: don't assume others struggles aren't severe because you don't perceive them to be severe. The suicide was one example. Not related to coffee.

I have reported your post for making fun of people with ND needing to regulate their emotions and using it as a way to further belittle them.

I threw a hissy fit? I’m simply advocating for those that struggle to advocate for themselves.

Okay. So they can't take responsibility at all and stopping themselves from calling others names because of ND?

Adjustments have to be reasonable. Most of what you list are not reasonable if they add to colleagues’ workloads or impinge on colleagues’ working conditions. The coffee thing and the extra load on colleagues are unacceptable.

You clearly haven't been reading this PPs comments throughout this thread and it shows.

Honestly, these adjustments are fairly minor. I would be proud to work somewhere that showed consideration and inclusivity. Back in the 80s we glossed over sexism and tolerated misogyny and probably didn't tolerate 'reasonable adjustments' type scenarios. I know which era I'd rather be working in.

I have clarified it for you above.

I was triggered by you being offensive about an entire population of disabled people. I think it is understandable regardless of my ND status and I find it offensive that you keep using that status to further belittle the ND

I am responding to the particular post about suicide and the subsequent one mocking it by bringing not being able to drink coffee into it.