Nuerodiverse colleague

[moana35]

I am having a few problems with a colleague at work. She is neurodiverse so adjustments have had to be made but these adjustments are meaning that myself and my colleagues are doing alot more than we did before she was employed.

She is very black and white about time so she will not be at her desk until her digital smart watch says the start time on her contract and again she leaves at the exact time she is supposed to finish even if in the middle of something. Lunch is an hour but due to needing to re compress for the afternoon she needs to take 75 minutes as she needs to go for a walk and eat. She has to sit in front of a window which means all our places in the office have been changed.

From Monday we are not allowed to drink coffee at our desks anymore only tea as the smell makes her gag.

Aside from this she is a very good worker and gets her work done to a good standard but it is impacting on the morale of the team. She is also exempt from training mornings if they are "small room " based as she can't sit in a room with a big group of people. She will be allowed to do her training online.

Management say as she declared her nuerodiversity at interview these adjustments have to be made for her I get reasonable adjustments and I have an autistic son but are these adjustments reasonable to the rest of the team.

If we took 15 mins extra for lunch or asked our colleague to not drink coffee I am sure we would be spoken to by management,

Has anyone else come across this in the workplace.

Of course it's the employers fault, that's the fing point.

People seem to miss two things with these conversations.

The first is that it's not really about the employee asking for the accommodation. It's about the employer giving them inappropriate. (Unless they think the employee is fibbing and that's the real complaint.)

The second, which seems to be totally ignored, is that a reasonable accommodation is not supposed to negatively impact the other employees. Any impact should be on the employer, not other workers.

The only bad adaption is the coffee one. You should be allowed to drink it still as it’s important to your day. It’s better they provide her with something to cover her nose so she has control of what she smells.

It's nice to figure out how to make ones own life more pleasant. It's a way of looking after yourself and I think it's good and we probably haven't been taught to do it often enough.

If I know someone well, for example a friend, and I knew they couldn't stand a certain smell I would avoid it when they are around because they are my friend.

But if a rule in the office came along to say I had to suddenly give up coffee at my desk because it bothers one person i would take issue with it. Id feel patronised.

Finding a job that suits you is normal for everyone though, Anyone who doesn't like noise gets a quiet job, anyone who doesn't like sitting at a desk all day gets a more active job.

Drinking coffee at your desk is not a job. It can be done on breaks in the staff room or whatever.

It's awful. Some people have been very fortunate this has not affected them.

I'm going to hazard a guess you're the same as me, and would happily have others getting a longer lunch break and wait to drink my favourite drink a few hours later...in exchange for them taking our family members autism with all the challenges and anxiety they have to deal with.

Autism doesn't clock off at 5pm or when you hit 18 and become an adult.

I love this post.

That's an interesting question. Thanks for asking. I'm unsure what the correct answer is but I think, on the whole, no I haven't and can't imagine doing so.
I'm jst the wrong age to be able to consider such things.

Do you want to swap with my childhood trauma, PTSD, cptsd, a history of self harm and an eating disorder? Things I will never fully recover from? That I have paid ££££ to try and manage and remain employed?

Do you think I am fortunate?

Here we go again. An assumption that ND is THE difficulty and nobody NT could POSSIBLY have very severe difficulties.

It's reasonable adjustment, not accommodation.

This whole thread has been about how the employee is at fault for asking for these adjustments, have you read it?

Nobody said that though.

I have the things you have. My work was adjusted to help.

I eventually at 57 became to unwell to keep it all together anymore. But my workplace were supportive.

This is a joke isn't it? Why do we have to adjusts everything for one person? It's getting ridiculous even in the workplace now!

I think people here did suggest that because they are ND and they experience a lot of things heightened that they are somehow unique in their struggles. And that whatever adjustment is made has a minimal impact on others. That was said. And I have been trying to point out: not necessarily as there can be very very severe struggles outside of the NT/ND discussion. It's as though nothing else matters.

This is my fear. I hope you are better now.

I accept that the OP is bothered. The evidence of her being bothered is clear: she made a whole thread about it.

The OP would probably die of shock if she worked where I do. She mentioned "seniority" as a reason why she thinks the desk move was wrong. When I had a fixed desk, my boss gave me dibs on choosing the location. He didn't pull rank because he recognised that my need trumped his rank.

Some of my colleagues, who are paid hourly, start at 09:00 and finish at 17:00 and will not stay late, and I support them in this even though, as a salaried worker, I don't get to set that strict boundary. I recognise that unpaid overtime for hourly-paid staff is a form of theft.

The OP needs to take her feelings of being affronted and threatened about disruptions to the office pecking order, and jealous about the longer break, out of it and look at how the situation affects her work. Not how it makes her feel, how it affects her work. That doesn't mean that she isn't allowed her feelings, rather that she recognises that she isn't the main character in this workplace and so her feelings don't trump someone else's needs. The most important lesson I have ever learned is that I am entitled to my feelings and at the same my feelings aren't actually important in every situation.

Wtf are you talking about? Do you want to talk about MY complex PTSD? My trauma from childhood abuse? My trauma from rape? No, because it's absolutely NOTHING to do with this thread. You know absolutely zero about me, but I know about ND because THAT is what this thread is about.

I live with this as well and have had to watch my child (who I care about more than myself) struggle with this for over 20 years while knowing people like you and others will make her continue to struggle even after I'm not here to protect her

You don't know me. You've jumped all over everyone for defending vulnerable people with disabilities because you don't understand it. Then use the excuse it's because you have your own difficulties? The same ones (barring the eating disorder) as me, but I still care about other vulnerable people yet I'm the problem?

They have employers taking liberties, like not paying them for work. They put up with it because they need a job.

Do not tolerate theft. Join a union.

The new member of staff is impacting on other staff - the change in desk and tea/coffee rule. The company may well see staff leave and with low morale an impact on quality. I think the management have been too accommodating

I'm talking about not being fortunate at all. Refering to your comment that people are fortunate to not experience ND and if they want to swap. its a weird thing to say, you know?

And the thing is, you do realise you can ask for reasonable adjustments for the things you've listed? That's why I got my reasonable adjustments at uni. Don't put someone down for a disability that they will never 'heal' from, unlike trauma.

I'd keep everything I have, plus take my DC autism on top of that if it meant she could live a happy life - not having to deal with all these people taking their own personal injustices out on her when her brain can't understand why people think the way she is, is wrong. Doing everything to manage stress and anxiety levels.

Just tell your line manager you’re over worked and moral is low, no need to make it about this new employee. A good manager will address your concerns and make improvements, in the same way your new colleague’s need have been accommodated.

I said if people want to swap autism for the 15 minutes extra lunch and only drink coffee on breaks. Don't recall asking if anyone wanted to swap that for childhood trauma, so you're clutching at straws.

I don't want to ask for adjustments. But I want to be taken seriously when I say how something might impact me and not be dismissed that it can't be that bad because I'm not ND.

I don't want to take adjustments from anyone. I just don't want them to impact me. That's all.

Okay I misread then.

I understand that, but we were specifically talking about what's in the OP which was coffee and an extra lunch. And if those two things do make you feel that bad, you need to talk to someone. And I mean that, genuinely.

I can talk about whatever I feel is relevant to the OP. I'm not here for help, I just like to discuss. I can look after myself quite well, thank you.