Page 8 | Help need a good excuse to call in “sick” to work

colourPink · 2025-06-23T05:43:57+00:00

My toddler is unwell - high temp etc. if i say I’m off to look after him I don’t get paid (and lose £130 a day!) but if I phone in sick I do get paid. However, I’ve had to do it a few times this year and not sure what illness I can have this time. Advice? (I’ve had quite a few colds/ sickness bugs/ ruiner infections..)

Teateaandmoretea · 23/06/2025 18:02

TheBlueUser · 23/06/2025 07:36

Obviously this isn't an option or the OP wouldn't be posting. I don't understand why there are always posts like this as if the OP wouldn't have thought of that already.

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Disagree, it is literally amazing how many men are never able to take any time from their important ‘man-job’ to support and expect the female to pick it up. That isn’t the case here, but it very often is.

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 18:11

PhilippaGeorgiou · 23/06/2025 12:24

If we lived in a half-civilised country, this wouldn't arise. In Sweden for instance, a parent is entitled to a maximum of 120 days

Whilst I agree with you in principle (although not about the lying) these "civilised" countries have huge taxation too - Sweden has one of the highest effective taxation rates in the world. If you wish to be a "civilised country" then there is a price to pay, and the British public have demonstrated time and time again that they do not want to pay it. An awful lot of MN posters don't want to pay it. The biggest "scare tactic" at every general election is around who is going to increase taxes. Attacks on the elderly and disabled are fuelled by the "we can't afford it" narrative because we do not raise enough money in taxes to fund a "civilised country". If people want paid dependants leave etc, etc, then you will have to pay for it in higher taxes. Since I am one of the few who are in favour of higher taxes, es[ecially in relation to the rich and highly paid, to fund a "civilised country", I am just wondering whether all those on here decrying how awful it is that there isn't paid dependants leave and other "civilised" measures are willing to literally put their money where their mouth is?

As a (not at all well off) boomer, we fought for many of the rights, including things like paid maternity leave, childcare etc during our working lives that are currently enjoyed. They were not given, they were fought for. But I seldom see that same fight these days, just more and more entitlement - "want" but not willing to sacrifice time, energy or resources on getting. People are keen to spout about how there is no magic money tree yet in 2025, the UK's economy is the sixth largest globally by nominal GDP. It is also the second-richest European country by GDP. We can have the same "magic money tree" that Sweden has, but we will have to shift not just money but attitudes. As a society we are selfish, and it is all about us - what we have, how that compares to what others have, and how much more we want for ourselves. To have what Sweden has we need to think corporately about what benefits society, not just us as individuals, and do something about that.

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I’m in Sweden, and I can tell you I would not want to be anywhere else. It works well. It’s worth it as a society, and I am saying this as a a family that is paying the highest income tax. We’re all in this together.

coxesorangepippin · 23/06/2025 18:14

Thanks Magda, I'll sleep easy in my bed

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 18:17

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/06/2025 12:39

It looks like the Swedish system is funded by the taxpayer rather than by employers. If people want that kind of society, they will need to be willing to stump up and pay more tax to cover the costs of this. I would be up for paying more tax, personally, but I'm not sure if the general population would be.

It's also hard to see how employers are supposed to manage this level of absence - if you had a couple of kids, you might never do a day's work all year!! I guess they must have to employ lots of people who are surplus to requirements in order to ensure that there is enough slack in the system to cover extended absences.

I’m in a work place in Sweden where lots of people have young kids. It’s not a problem, people stay at home when their kids are sick but don’t generally take advantage of it. Dads stay at home just as often or even more in some cases, so it’s a shared burden. Or grandfathers/mothers can also get paid to stay at home with sick grandchildren.

Most of us want to contribute to society (no SAHP, or very very few) so why take the piss out of it?

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 18:18

Sofiewoo · 23/06/2025 12:46

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves if you had a couple of kids, you might never do a day's work all year!!

Oh come on this is utter nonsense.

It is absolute nonsense.

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 18:22

Sweetandsaltycaroline · 23/06/2025 17:55

How does 120 days paid leave for childcare/sickness etc, work in practise. As co-owner of a small business, hypothetically a member of staff could be off for nearly
half the year. I don't know how you would budget or organise workload for that...

And obviously not limited to small businesses because in any organisation you need to know you're going to have (or aim to have) x number of people working on any given day.

I get that it's really difficult with childcare especially when young children are sick frequently, but the example of 120 paid days/year seems difficult to plan for.

They are not though. Most kids are not sick 120 days a year.

It’s obviously shared by both parents, and is expected to be shared. No matter what job you have. If only one parent stayed at home people would question it.

Needspaceforlego · 23/06/2025 18:28

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 18:22

They are not though. Most kids are not sick 120 days a year.

It’s obviously shared by both parents, and is expected to be shared. No matter what job you have. If only one parent stayed at home people would question it.

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I can only imagine how ill a child would need to be for parents to need 120 days off in a year, 120 days, is really 24 weeks, nearly 6months, Im assuming it would be something long term like cancer or a disability.

TBH I don't think anyone would question if it was one parent rather than the other who focused on the child in those circumstances.

Funnyduck60 · 23/06/2025 18:36

Be honest fgs. DC is going to be ill. Why don't you have any support?

Fluffyowl00 · 23/06/2025 18:41

You need a new school. I get 5 days dependants leave. Don’t forget to put the reason on your exit form. Maybe CC in the governors.

What an awful headteacher.

Needspaceforlego · 23/06/2025 18:41

Funnyduck60 · 23/06/2025 18:36

Be honest fgs. DC is going to be ill. Why don't you have any support?

Where are people meant to get 'support' from?
If family can't / won't take them what are parents meant to do?

randomusername03 · 23/06/2025 19:21

unless you can manage without the £130, in your position id just lie and hope for the best. if its the difference between eating and not eating what do people expect you to do.

Heyheyitsanotherday · 23/06/2025 19:30

Oh op. I feel for you. So hard juggling mum life and harder when works not supportive.
I would go with a migraine if you just need one day off. I get visual migraines where I literally can’t see. Then I end up feeling hungover and need to sleep it off. I’m fine after but definitely a one day off sick issue if you need it.
All the posters judging you must be very privileged to either, not need the money, or have work that’s super understanding. I will not palm my kid off on any family member when they’re really poorly. They stay with me as that’s who they need the most. You are just a number at work. Irreplaceable at home. Its
nit taking the piss, its surviving.

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 19:31

Fluffyowl00 · 23/06/2025 18:41

You need a new school. I get 5 days dependants leave. Don’t forget to put the reason on your exit form. Maybe CC in the governors.

What an awful headteacher.

5 days? Why do people in the UK accept this? Society wants you to have children and parents to work, so why such a shit system!? It’s beyond bad.

MagdaLenor · 23/06/2025 20:06

randomusername03 · 23/06/2025 19:21

unless you can manage without the £130, in your position id just lie and hope for the best. if its the difference between eating and not eating what do people expect you to do.

She's a teacher, so it's unlikely to be a choice between eating and not eating. However, her HT is unreasonable not to allow paid parental leave, even for the usual basic minimum. That's a serious issue, which they need to be challenged over.

PhilippaGeorgiou · 23/06/2025 21:11

fruitflavouredmilk · 23/06/2025 19:31

5 days? Why do people in the UK accept this? Society wants you to have children and parents to work, so why such a shit system!? It’s beyond bad.

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Well
(a) it isn't 5 days - it is a "reasonable" time without pay, with reasonable being determined by the employers circumstances - it can be as little as a few hours to arrange alternative provision, and if you have no alternative that is tough....
(b) and, as I said previously, British people have largely abandoned the fight. They expect everyone else to fight for their employment rights (except themselves of course - they can't afford it, don't have time, aren't in a union, there isn't a union in their workplace, politics is irrelevant, etc.,etc ad infinitum excuses). And they definitely expect everyone else to pay for it, although they have no real concept of who the people who should pay for it are. We cannot afford to live in a "civilised society", which translates as "I want other people to suffer cuts or disadvantage because they don't deserve what they have whilst I, on the other hand, deserve so much more than I have but should definitely not have to pay more in taxes..."

You get the system that you deserve. And I agree it is a shit system. It is the system they have repeatedly voted for. It is the system they have allowed. And people deserve it. It is so much easier to blame the boomers, people in small boats, disabled and sick people, or (basically) anyone who isn't you than it is to get up off your arse and make society better through collective effort.

I am 67 years old. I joined a union at the age of 17, and I am still in a union. I have fought to serve and protect all my adult life. And they go out and vote Reform because they would rather peddle hatred than a fair and just society. I have done with it. They deserve what they get. Once our workers made history. Now they are history.

Seriously79 · 23/06/2025 22:25

I've been here OP, go with food poisoning or a migraine x

Petitchat · 24/06/2025 00:30

But I seldom see that same fight these days, just more and more entitlement.

You have a short memory.
I'm a boomer too and in our day, a whole family could live on one wage. (Usually the man's)

The wife went to work part time (if she even wanted to) just for luxuries.
Some married women had careers but usually once the children had grown up.

It didn't take two parents working full time just to survive, like they have to nowadays.

I feel so sorry for young families nowadays, I really do.

Petitchat · 24/06/2025 00:36

My post at 00.30 was addressed to
@PhilippaGeorgiou

Motheranddaughter · 24/06/2025 01:22

Petitchat · 24/06/2025 00:30

But I seldom see that same fight these days, just more and more entitlement.

You have a short memory.
I'm a boomer too and in our day, a whole family could live on one wage. (Usually the man's)

The wife went to work part time (if she even wanted to) just for luxuries.
Some married women had careers but usually once the children had grown up.

It didn't take two parents working full time just to survive, like they have to nowadays.

I feel so sorry for young families nowadays, I really do.

Edited

Glad I didn’t have to give up my career just because I got married

MyLov · 24/06/2025 01:25

colourPink · 23/06/2025 10:02

Very unusual. We used to have 5 days a year (before I had children). New head = new rules. No wonder we’ve had a high staff turnover!

I believe she feels that, if she allowed 5 days dependancy leave, staff use it as “time off” even when they don’t NEED do. I personally think it’s ridiculous and means I have zero support as a working mum.

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Dependent’s leave is law, not optional. Although they don’t have to pay you…

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Time off for family and dependants

Your legal right to time off to care for dependants - when you can take time off, how long you get, your rights

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

DurinsBane · 24/06/2025 01:29

avow · 23/06/2025 11:03

If we lived in a half-civilised country, this wouldn't arise. In Sweden for instance, a parent is entitled to a maximum of 120 days (yes, that's one hundred and twenty days) of VAB (Vård Av Barn; "Care Of Child") days off per year, no questions asked (although for seven or more consecutive days VAB you do need a doctor's note for the child).

Of course Great Britain scores well below half on any measure of civilisation. But - here's why this matters - this means it's not really bad to lie, especially if your child needs it. Whilst you are agitating with your trade union and MP etc to get decent treatment for parents (and everyone else), you should do as everyone else does (think of Boris Johnson, for instance, or King Charles for that matter), and finagle matters for your own benefit by lies and deceits. That's the British way!

So, well, earache is a good one. Or migraine. Easily lied about, impossible to prove you're not suffering. Go for it.

What, fully paid? It entitled to the 120 days unpaid? If fully paid that is extremely generous!

DurinsBane · 24/06/2025 01:32

Ohmygodthepain · 23/06/2025 17:17

Your council and HT are breaking the law. You have a statutory right to time off to care for dependents - https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Importantly, there is no limit to the number of times you can take emergency dependent leave. I would expect your dh to take an equal hit when looking after your child when poorly.

You may or may not be paid.

Speak to your union.

Edited

The OP is allowed the time off, it is just it will be unpaid. So the school are not breaking the law. I personally don’t know any company etc that pays for time off when it is a sick child

cannotbetooarsed · 24/06/2025 01:37

Pricelessadvice · 23/06/2025 06:51

Well she’ll be in even more of a pickle if she loses her job as a result of her dishonesty.

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You really are oozing with empathy! I had a fellow colleague with end stage oesophageal cancer and she came to work until 4weeks before she died because she was worried about paying her bills ! That is how desperate people are to keep a roof over their heads!!

caringcarer · 24/06/2025 01:50

ThatNewYearFeeling · 23/06/2025 06:57

How about requesting it as last minute holiday instead so you still get paid for the parental leave.

This. In a recession employers look at sickness records when deciding who will lose their jobs. Don't risk your job it's not worth it.

Needspaceforlego · 24/06/2025 02:18

caringcarer · 24/06/2025 01:50

This. In a recession employers look at sickness records when deciding who will lose their jobs. Don't risk your job it's not worth it.

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She's a teacher, last minute holidays aren't an option. But thankfully redundancies are unlikely to happen in teaching too.