Page 7 | Help need a good excuse to call in “sick” to work

colourPink · 2025-06-23T05:43:57+00:00

My toddler is unwell - high temp etc. if i say I’m off to look after him I don’t get paid (and lose £130 a day!) but if I phone in sick I do get paid. However, I’ve had to do it a few times this year and not sure what illness I can have this time. Advice? (I’ve had quite a few colds/ sickness bugs/ ruiner infections..)

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/06/2025 12:39

It looks like the Swedish system is funded by the taxpayer rather than by employers. If people want that kind of society, they will need to be willing to stump up and pay more tax to cover the costs of this. I would be up for paying more tax, personally, but I'm not sure if the general population would be.

It's also hard to see how employers are supposed to manage this level of absence - if you had a couple of kids, you might never do a day's work all year!! I guess they must have to employ lots of people who are surplus to requirements in order to ensure that there is enough slack in the system to cover extended absences.

MumWifeOther · 23/06/2025 12:45

Just say you’re vomitted and feel awful. Maybe something you ate? People call in sick all the time, don’t feel bad. Kids come first.

Sofiewoo · 23/06/2025 12:46

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves if you had a couple of kids, you might never do a day's work all year!!

Oh come on this is utter nonsense.

MagdaLenor · 23/06/2025 12:47

I think she had to call in about 5 hours ago, @MumWifeOther !

Viviennemary · 23/06/2025 12:53

OurChristmasMiracle · 23/06/2025 07:28

Honestly if it’s becoming a pattern it will be picked upon. It is monitored and questions will be asked. They may already be logging it as a concern

Indeed. They will cotton on and you may well face a disciplinary. Then you may find yourself with no job at all.

Alondra · 23/06/2025 13:04

PhilippaGeorgiou · 23/06/2025 12:24

If we lived in a half-civilised country, this wouldn't arise. In Sweden for instance, a parent is entitled to a maximum of 120 days

Whilst I agree with you in principle (although not about the lying) these "civilised" countries have huge taxation too - Sweden has one of the highest effective taxation rates in the world. If you wish to be a "civilised country" then there is a price to pay, and the British public have demonstrated time and time again that they do not want to pay it. An awful lot of MN posters don't want to pay it. The biggest "scare tactic" at every general election is around who is going to increase taxes. Attacks on the elderly and disabled are fuelled by the "we can't afford it" narrative because we do not raise enough money in taxes to fund a "civilised country". If people want paid dependants leave etc, etc, then you will have to pay for it in higher taxes. Since I am one of the few who are in favour of higher taxes, es[ecially in relation to the rich and highly paid, to fund a "civilised country", I am just wondering whether all those on here decrying how awful it is that there isn't paid dependants leave and other "civilised" measures are willing to literally put their money where their mouth is?

As a (not at all well off) boomer, we fought for many of the rights, including things like paid maternity leave, childcare etc during our working lives that are currently enjoyed. They were not given, they were fought for. But I seldom see that same fight these days, just more and more entitlement - "want" but not willing to sacrifice time, energy or resources on getting. People are keen to spout about how there is no magic money tree yet in 2025, the UK's economy is the sixth largest globally by nominal GDP. It is also the second-richest European country by GDP. We can have the same "magic money tree" that Sweden has, but we will have to shift not just money but attitudes. As a society we are selfish, and it is all about us - what we have, how that compares to what others have, and how much more we want for ourselves. To have what Sweden has we need to think corporately about what benefits society, not just us as individuals, and do something about that.

Show quote history

You need to actually look about the differential taxes between Sweden and UK and compare the small difference applied to middle classes in both countries and what they offer in return to the social population fabric -from affordable heavily subsidised childcare to mothers having almost 4 months a year in paid leave if their children are sick.

www.adamsmith.org/blog/the-real-nordic-model-higher-taxes-on-low-income-workers#:~:text=The%20much%2Ddespised%20top%2D1,makes%20this%20even%20more%20clear.

Theroadt · 23/06/2025 13:35

MagdaLenor · 23/06/2025 11:27

I think the trouble is that your school doesn't have the care givers' leave common to most schools, even in the UK. It's all very well wanting the Swedish system, but people would not welcome a higher level of personal taxation.

Agreed. And whilst for the good of society we should support parenrmts there is a balance to bd had, otherwise those who cannot/choose not to have children are making a disproportionate contribution. Perhaps the balance id wrong in UK, but Sweden seems too far the other way imho.

Alondra · 23/06/2025 13:38

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 23/06/2025 12:39

It looks like the Swedish system is funded by the taxpayer rather than by employers. If people want that kind of society, they will need to be willing to stump up and pay more tax to cover the costs of this. I would be up for paying more tax, personally, but I'm not sure if the general population would be.

It's also hard to see how employers are supposed to manage this level of absence - if you had a couple of kids, you might never do a day's work all year!! I guess they must have to employ lots of people who are surplus to requirements in order to ensure that there is enough slack in the system to cover extended absences.

All political systems are funded by taxpayers. Without taxes from all of us we wouldn't have any kind of social fairness, infrastructure, funding for medical research, universal medical care, state schools, work safety regulations, pensions...etc etc. We'd be back to the Middle Ages.

How tax moneys are spent by governments is the issue. It amounts to trillions of pounds/dollars every year and some countries prefer their middle class to pay a bit more but invest heavily in social programs like nurseries almost free, free good education, affordable universities and housing, instead of paying billions to private lobbies infiltrating the whole fabric of society to make a business.

Sweden is a small country compared to the UK but is years ahead in social fairness, specially when it relates to women and children.

ABigBarofChocolate · 23/06/2025 13:41

PoliteReader · 23/06/2025 07:45

My goodness there are some goody two shoes in this thread! I’d say a vomiting bug OP, and unless you confess at a later date or start bragging to your colleagues about lying, your employer can’t ’find you out’ and would have to tread very carefully if they wanted to accuse you of such a thing without cause.

You should be able to work out your own Bradford score by googling how it works if you’re worried about it (if your employer uses this). I’m a manager and nothing is flagged on the system for my reports until they hit 50+ (I think) and even then the first action is an informal chat. I’ve not had to do it yet!

I have a new mum on my team who has a 1 yr old and she’s been sick a few times in the last 6 months, do I believe it’s her that’s sick and not the baby? Not really, but I’m going to mark it as a sickness as I don’t give a toss if it means a young mum gets still gets paid by a profit chasing multimillion pound business. The baby being sick is a legitimate reason to have paid time off in my opinion. In fact when she she ‘had flu’ I reminded her to take any days sick off in a row rather than come back in/log back in at home and go off again (highers your B score). She never took the piss before she had baby so I trust that if she needs to be off, it’s genuine.

I want to work for you. You sound like an awesome manager 😁

avow · 23/06/2025 14:01

PhilippaGeorgiou · 23/06/2025 12:24

If we lived in a half-civilised country, this wouldn't arise. In Sweden for instance, a parent is entitled to a maximum of 120 days

Whilst I agree with you in principle (although not about the lying) these "civilised" countries have huge taxation too - Sweden has one of the highest effective taxation rates in the world. If you wish to be a "civilised country" then there is a price to pay, and the British public have demonstrated time and time again that they do not want to pay it. An awful lot of MN posters don't want to pay it. The biggest "scare tactic" at every general election is around who is going to increase taxes. Attacks on the elderly and disabled are fuelled by the "we can't afford it" narrative because we do not raise enough money in taxes to fund a "civilised country". If people want paid dependants leave etc, etc, then you will have to pay for it in higher taxes. Since I am one of the few who are in favour of higher taxes, es[ecially in relation to the rich and highly paid, to fund a "civilised country", I am just wondering whether all those on here decrying how awful it is that there isn't paid dependants leave and other "civilised" measures are willing to literally put their money where their mouth is?

As a (not at all well off) boomer, we fought for many of the rights, including things like paid maternity leave, childcare etc during our working lives that are currently enjoyed. They were not given, they were fought for. But I seldom see that same fight these days, just more and more entitlement - "want" but not willing to sacrifice time, energy or resources on getting. People are keen to spout about how there is no magic money tree yet in 2025, the UK's economy is the sixth largest globally by nominal GDP. It is also the second-richest European country by GDP. We can have the same "magic money tree" that Sweden has, but we will have to shift not just money but attitudes. As a society we are selfish, and it is all about us - what we have, how that compares to what others have, and how much more we want for ourselves. To have what Sweden has we need to think corporately about what benefits society, not just us as individuals, and do something about that.

Show quote history

You're mostly right. There are other differences between Sweden and GB - class system bolstered by exclusive schools for rich kids, size and density of population, Thatcher killing off trade unions, other history, ... etc., et.. - but, yes, there's a peculiar selfishness to British culture that reflects very badly on us.

I'd like our society to be more highly taxed, not least to assuage my own guilt as a boomer who's had all the advantages - decent post-war council housing, free university education, working NHS, good pensions, etc., etc. - and then seen the ladders pulled up after people believed the lies of certain of their rulers and decided selfishness, after all, was a proper. basis for our lives together. (Bear in mind, too, we are overall better off than we were back then.)

I still hear people lauding Maggie Thatcher (there'll be a proportion of readers of this thread, I'll be bound), not realising selfishness and entitlement are not in any way a good basis for civil society. Personally, I'm all right ("Jack!") in material terms ... but I'd much prefer to be worse off financially and living in a society where, amongst other social goods, a mother (or father!) could take time off work to care for a sick child without financial penalty.

Nopenousername · 23/06/2025 14:07

@ScouserInExileI didn’t mean to offend you. My loved one suffers from migraines, they last about half a day so this is my only experience of it in the context of a minor illness. I do however feel for you, it sounds horrendous and I am hoping that there will be a cure for it really soon or that it just simply gets better for you

avow · 23/06/2025 14:10

Alondra · 23/06/2025 13:38

All political systems are funded by taxpayers. Without taxes from all of us we wouldn't have any kind of social fairness, infrastructure, funding for medical research, universal medical care, state schools, work safety regulations, pensions...etc etc. We'd be back to the Middle Ages.

How tax moneys are spent by governments is the issue. It amounts to trillions of pounds/dollars every year and some countries prefer their middle class to pay a bit more but invest heavily in social programs like nurseries almost free, free good education, affordable universities and housing, instead of paying billions to private lobbies infiltrating the whole fabric of society to make a business.

Sweden is a small country compared to the UK but is years ahead in social fairness, specially when it relates to women and children.

Show quote history

Yes, indeed. Taxation is the price of civilisation.

Original poster

colourPink · 23/06/2025 14:26

In terms on a back to work meeting, as everyone seems to be asking, you only have one if you’ve had a few days off consecutively or your attendance has become an alarm. Neither will apply to me. I just have to sign a slip to say why I was off (or at least that’s how it works in my school).

Currently, my LO is fast asleep on me - he’s exactly where he needs to be and where I need to be. If he happens to need more time off/ is poorly again soon then I’ll have no choice but to take the pay cut. Every teacher (male or female) with young children plays this game. Is it right? No, of course it isn’t. And actually goes against most of my own personal morals. BUT it’s survival. It’s having enough money to pay for the child care etc the month after!

It is what it is. In the meantime, I’ll keep looking at other schools who do offer dependency leave to help me balance it all.

OP posts:

Alondra · 23/06/2025 14:50

colourPink · 23/06/2025 14:26

In terms on a back to work meeting, as everyone seems to be asking, you only have one if you’ve had a few days off consecutively or your attendance has become an alarm. Neither will apply to me. I just have to sign a slip to say why I was off (or at least that’s how it works in my school).

Currently, my LO is fast asleep on me - he’s exactly where he needs to be and where I need to be. If he happens to need more time off/ is poorly again soon then I’ll have no choice but to take the pay cut. Every teacher (male or female) with young children plays this game. Is it right? No, of course it isn’t. And actually goes against most of my own personal morals. BUT it’s survival. It’s having enough money to pay for the child care etc the month after!

It is what it is. In the meantime, I’ll keep looking at other schools who do offer dependency leave to help me balance it all.

You do what you have to do, and play the game. The health of your child comes first.

Needspaceforlego · 23/06/2025 14:52

RosesAndHellebores · 23/06/2025 11:29

No we don't support parents at all:

Nursery hours
Working Tax credits
Universal Credit
12 months mat leave
Shared parental leave
Parental leave

The contract of employment is about an employee rendering work in return fir pay. To do that they have to do the work. People so often forget this.

When I had my children people saved up to meet the costs of rearing their children. If people have children they need contingency arrangements in place.

And that's great, how exactly are people meant to get "contingency measures" for a sick child?

No paid facility will touch them with a barge pole.

Grandparents are working to they drop so they are either working or they aren't fit to care for kids, even if they are within a travel distance that enables them to be emergency care.
The fit retired Granny is a thing of the past.

How is Op meant to get contingency measures?

RosesAndHellebores · 23/06/2025 15:16

Needspaceforlego · 23/06/2025 14:52

And that's great, how exactly are people meant to get "contingency measures" for a sick child?

No paid facility will touch them with a barge pole.

Grandparents are working to they drop so they are either working or they aren't fit to care for kids, even if they are within a travel distance that enables them to be emergency care.
The fit retired Granny is a thing of the past.

How is Op meant to get contingency measures?

Show quote history

Well I had an au-pair when I had small children and a full-time job.

If funds don't stretch to that or a nanny then you have to have a sinking fund for it . Just as sensible people have for the washing machine, boiler and the car.

It isn't unreasonable to allow for ten unpaid days during the first few years of a child's life.

When DS was about 18 months, I caught full influenza from him. DH was in court that week and we had to get an emergency, agency nanny for the week. It cost £800 in 1996. Shit happens, it has to be planned for.

xanthomelana · 23/06/2025 16:16

RosesAndHellebores · 23/06/2025 15:16

Well I had an au-pair when I had small children and a full-time job.

If funds don't stretch to that or a nanny then you have to have a sinking fund for it . Just as sensible people have for the washing machine, boiler and the car.

It isn't unreasonable to allow for ten unpaid days during the first few years of a child's life.

When DS was about 18 months, I caught full influenza from him. DH was in court that week and we had to get an emergency, agency nanny for the week. It cost £800 in 1996. Shit happens, it has to be planned for.

Show quote history

OP is earning £130 a day, I don’t think this stretches to an au pair or nanny.

Also not everyone can afford a sinking fund, doesn’t mean they are not sensible either, it means they are feeling the pinch during a cost of living crisis.

PhilippaGeorgiou · 23/06/2025 16:23

Needspaceforlego · 23/06/2025 14:52

And that's great, how exactly are people meant to get "contingency measures" for a sick child?

No paid facility will touch them with a barge pole.

Grandparents are working to they drop so they are either working or they aren't fit to care for kids, even if they are within a travel distance that enables them to be emergency care.
The fit retired Granny is a thing of the past.

How is Op meant to get contingency measures?

Show quote history

The fit retired Granny is a thing of the past.

The fit retired granny, for many people, was a fairy story.

RosesAndHellebores · 23/06/2025 16:31

That's £650 pw gross, about £33000pa. DD is a teacher, aged 27 with an sen allowance and London weighting. She's on £42500 pa and earns another £150pw from tutoring.

Something isn't adding up here.

Platypusdiver · 23/06/2025 16:37

Say upset stomach. You have to have access to a toilet. My school don't ask for reasons. But I know teachers who are sick with colds most often, but also effects of insomnia and then other illnesses that they don't divulge.

Honestly though, most sicknesses in teaching are just symptoms of stress. If asked, tell them that you are working your arse off, working through when sick usually, but occasionally it gets too much and your body just forces you to take a break.

As for posters who are very sanctimonious about ringing in sick: I remember my aunt. She worked at a company, never rang in sick once, always worked when sick. She turned up one Monday to be made redundant, and her job ended on the Wednesday.

Sometimes you have to do what's best for you. The OP is looking after a poorly child, not going out on the razz.

coxesorangepippin · 23/06/2025 17:05

Uti

coxesorangepippin · 23/06/2025 17:05

Agree with the sanctimonious post above..there are no prizes for being that colleague

Literally none

Ohmygodthepain · 23/06/2025 17:17

Your council and HT are breaking the law. You have a statutory right to time off to care for dependents - https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Importantly, there is no limit to the number of times you can take emergency dependent leave. I would expect your dh to take an equal hit when looking after your child when poorly.

You may or may not be paid.

Speak to your union.

Time off for family and dependants

Your legal right to time off to care for dependants - when you can take time off, how long you get, your rights

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

MagdaLenor · 23/06/2025 17:47

coxesorangepippin · 23/06/2025 17:05

Uti

The school day has long finished

Sweetandsaltycaroline · 23/06/2025 17:55

How does 120 days paid leave for childcare/sickness etc, work in practise. As co-owner of a small business, hypothetically a member of staff could be off for nearly
half the year. I don't know how you would budget or organise workload for that...

And obviously not limited to small businesses because in any organisation you need to know you're going to have (or aim to have) x number of people working on any given day.

I get that it's really difficult with childcare especially when young children are sick frequently, but the example of 120 paid days/year seems difficult to plan for.