Manager accidentally sent teams message about me to me

[Newyorklady]

My Manager accidently sent a message on teams about me to me. It wasn’t very nice either and factually incorrect.

I have messaged her to let her know I’ve seen it. She has apologised (eventually after trying to excuse it) for what she said, although trying to excuse it to being busy.
Id be mortified if I was her I now feel our relationship is damaged.
I am going to distance myself now as I can’t trust her.
What would you do ?
Im not the type to escalate anything as it never ends well but I feel it needs raising with her in a more formal setting.

What did it say?

Was the email professional and sent to someone who it would make sense for them to be discussing your performance with? I would save the message but probably not do anything with it for now.

Ouch, that must’ve been unpleasant to read. I would hope she’s mortified! I suppose whether I’d escalate it or not would depend on whether what she said was unprofessional vs just negative and whether the factual inaccuracy could be read as an honest mistake/misunderstanding. There’s also the question of who the intended recipient was and whether it’s appropriate for your manager to be discussing you/your performance with them but I suppose you’d never be able to prove that from the message anyway.

I would correct the factual inaccuracies with her for a start.

Otherwise, depend on what she said and what your relationship was like before. You can forget it or you can take it further - which one is going to make you feel better? Only you know.

I think it might depend on who she was sending it to and why. But even so, being factually incorrect is awful as is not being polite about you. If she was raising an issue with HR or her line manager or similar, maybe I’d be ok with her explaining her error to them and apologising to them and you about how she wrote the email. If it was to a coworker and she was just be rude about you, then it might need taking further maybe with HR.

HR partner says you need to raise it with your HR department.

Was the message (although inaccurate) a legitimate business communication? If so, I don't think there is much you can do that you haven't already done - correct the inaccuracy and receive an apology.

If, on the other hand, it was malicious gossip, you would have grounds for a formal complaint.

We had been in a meeting with Senior management sharing some feedback results.
We then broke out to discuss something else and she was discussing other teams before coming to mine.
So the feedback results couldn’t be opened so I said I couldn’t open them.
She messaged another manager saying I had lost it because I couldn’t open the results and wasn’t interested in the rest of the meeting. But accidentally sent it to me.
I didn’t lose it at all I simply said I can’t open it.
There were 5 other people present and she was talking through their team first so I couldn’t take part until she came to mine.
As for losing it I asked one of the other managers how I came across she said I certainly didn’t lose it. In fact never even heard me say it.
My manager has apologised since saying she was stressed when she wrote it.

No it wasn’t malicious gossip to be fair.

You need to let HR. I would forward the email along with a factual description about how you received the email.

I would also factually summarise what happened. If the post you posted that appears to be from your boss you need to be very clear as your boss's is unclear and poorly written and almost unreadable.

I am not usually one to take things further but I would in this instance as she has lied about you to make you sound unhinged and unprofessional. I wouldn't be able to let that go as the people she said that to you about you will have a different view of you after that

You lost it as in mislaid the file or lost it as in threw a strop?

Depending which you think your manager mean would change my feelings.

If she has been under stress and it is uncharacteristic of her I would accept her apology (in writing I hope) and do nothing more unless something else comes up.

Her message to her colleague was unprofessional and suggests she’s in the habit of sending unnecessary, negative ‘side messages’ which is unprofessional. Her apology poor as well.

In your shoes I’d probably share the facts with your boss’s boss and say you were surprised and disappointed, and maintain careful boundaries with your boss.

I’d also quote her exactly and say that you took ‘lost it’ to mean psychologically/behaviour wise rather than you having lost the file/access.

Lost it as in angry. Completely untrue and she has apologised saying she worded it wrong.

I'd have copied in her immediate manager when I replied saying I'd seen it tbh.

Maybe just ensure you have copies (printed as well as electronic) and see how things go.

If you have any further issues with it I'd definitely report it though.

I agree. Who knows what else she's saying about you! I'd want this formally recorded in case anything else cane up in the future.

Your manager is a snide bitch.

Well hopefully she has circulated that apology to everyone she sent the message to the first time.

Oh poor you that is awful. Even with an apology, it’s not great.

How do you normally get along with her?

I think I’d grudgingly accept her apology and then hold it over her for ever more.

I wouldn’t raise that with anyone. She apologised. The end.

Generally ok but thinking back there have been a few occasions where she has behaved unprofessionally.

Has she included all the other people who get the email in her apology? If she has publicly maligned you then she needs to correct that.

Has the message also been sent to others and her intended recipient?