If you have 3DC or more how do you manage the childcare?

[clutteredup]

I have a DD 15 mo, DD1 starts school in September and DS is already at school. If I go back to work I'd need a CM for before and after school and obviously full time care for DD2.
I have just done the sums and whichever way you look at it I can't earn enough to pay for the childcare. i reckon after tax and travel I would bring home about £900 to begin with, although that ,hopefully would increase with time.
But by my calculations that isn't enough to cover childcare.
I don't know if we'd be entitled to tax credits as DH earns over the limit. It just seems so daft that it would cost more to look after the DC than I would get paid.
Just want to know how anyone else manages it.

I can see that there is a myth to the 'can't afford not to go back to work' thing, it is too expensive for most people. Mind you I do agree it is better to be at home with the DC really, what happened to 'having it all' though, or is that only for city bankers and chick lit?

My DH works long hours and is often away for days at atime so couldn't rely on his looking after the DC, family too far and 3 is too many to rely on friends however kind.

I have 3 dc, 2 at school and 1 at nursery. I only work 2 days a week as most of my salary goes on childcare. Nursery is £350 and breakfast/after school club is £150 a month.

I've got no-one who I can rely on for childcare, dh often away and mil tends to forget when she's agreed to something (she doesn't keep a diary so can't remember if you ask her too far in advance but if you leave it last minute then she's got something else on!)

I work 9 hours on the days I'm in so I can fill as many hours as possible into the childcare time that I'm paying for.

We, too, don't qualify for any tax credits as dh earns too much.

I just look at it as time for "me" and my progression. I really enjoy my work and would really lose out if I took a career break. It does drive me mad, though how everyone assumes there's lots of help out there with childcare costs.

So that's £500 a month just for 2 days - you must earn a good salary to cover that.

I have 3 dc under 5. Going back to work in Sept. dd at school, dss at nursery. dd going to CM after school for about 1 hour. I will hopefully be working 3 x 6 hour days, term time only.

I won't be earning piles of money and am lucky that my employers are so accommodating. I'm not sure if it will be stressful or not but think that it is probably worth it to keep job open and keep my hand in.

My family are all 100+miles away and dh normally away for at least a couple of days a week (not home until late anyway).

DH and I both get chilcare vouchers via work saving a few £100 per year. Ds1 will be getting his place partly funded as of Sept and going to school the following sept (so only 1 year of having to pay childcare for him during holidays).

Not sure if I would like to be a SAHM perminately, Having always earned money think it would be scarey not to have a job - will wait and see how working with 3 turns out then make up my mind.

Does it add up though loler, does your 3 day a week salary cover the cost of your childcare? Do you have much left over?

Sorry just noticed you said term time only that is better - that I suppose can work , do you teach?

no but i'm a civil servant so employer is very pc!

ah the civil service, I guess they have to practice what they preach, if you can't go back to work with them then you can't go anywhere really.

would earn about double if I went into private sector but couldn't expect the flexible working I get now

I guess its a trde off, what do you do if the DC are ill though can you take time off work to stay at home with them?

Yes - haven't need it so far as can acrue hours and save them for time off in lieu when needed. I get a limited amount of time for family illness so e.g. if kids get chicken pox wouldn't need to use up all my leave. Really is a good employer - don't think all civil servants get the same.

I suppose other employers could learn a thing or two.

Anyone else or are you still at work?

They certainly could. The positive for the organisation is that it cost a lot to recruit and train me and as they are so flexible they can be pretty sure that I won't be going any where for a while. They allow the same flexible working for people without children, who generally chose to work longer days than me and like to work in the holidays when the traffic is less and holidays more expensive. Therefore cover is not normally a problem

Sounds very organised, maybe i should look into it, what department do you work for?

clutteredup you're talking to me!!
I've namechanged and will change a few details if that is OK with you I don't want to splash details of my private life all over the interweb

I have 3 dcs 1 at school, and dts at nursery, we have just found out that my dh is subsidising me going to work!

And starlight less of the presumption about the mortgage/bills/lifestyle please we rent (a house especially chosen because it's cheap!) I'll wager we spend less on food and power than most on here and wont be having a holiday this year because of the cost (we are vaguely wondering whether we'll get a long weekend in a Travelodge but when I looked recently they wanted £90 pounds a night so that's a no then.)

we have no family help at all. Because I work so hard I am saving my few friends in case I really need a hand (emergency hospital admission or whatever), I have a job that frequently demands staying late and we have just found out that dh is being sent over 60 miles away by his employer.

in short we are f&^%$d!

As to why I have always worked and don't really want to get into a discussion about should you/shouldn't you it's been done over and over, however I have a highly skilled career in a mans world which once I step out of I wont get back into. There is a belief though that I will earn more in the future! (debateable whether it will ever be enough to buy me a house)

This gov doesn't care about real working parents, if it wanted to help it would allow me to tax deduct my childcare and sort out nursery provision.

Flexible working is irrelevant in my world and reserved only for the managers.

As for spending my hard earned pennies shoring up property developers by taking their unsaleable flats of their hands don't get me started......

Only read the op, so I don't know if anyone has mentioned the before tax cc vouchers that some employers do, that may help??!

im a full time sahm now
also im a english teacher by profession
im on baby number 7 but this will be 5 at home 4 young ones
when i gave up work this year because of new baby coming
my husband changed his jobs
before he would work days as a lorry driver
me teaching part private part school
now he works away all week mon-fri and i do all childcare
we only spend weekends together as a family
but that time is well spent and good quality
i guess we appreciate it more
hard for me though its gonna be tough with a newborn alone
financialy we are ok he earns good money i dont need to top up his wages
but seeing as he works for his company sleeps in cab at night gets up carries on i think they owe him good wages to
i miss the people i also feel a bit brain dead here conversation wise
and TBH i will prob go back part time when this one is old enough to go to nursey and wants to and me and him are happy about it

skiwear im like you no family no help were on our own
i had a crisis wed night my 4 year old woke up at midnight had an asthma attack i had to wake all the kids and take them to hospital folowing ambulance on a blue light
i know what its like to have to juggle things around

I have 3 under 5 at the min and cant work as childcare is so expensive. When the youngest is in school then I will get a job doing nights so that I can be around for them but sleep while they are in school

for me working is not just about the money- i like it and i need it and it makes me a better mum and a better wife. i am lucky that i really like my job and that dh earns well, i am left with very little after childcare but i don't mind. i give my dd (and any subsequent dcs i hope!) the best possible chidlcare i can afford and i really don't feel i am shifting her from pillar to post.

it also gives me a pension which will come in handy in the long run and i hope that once they are older the money side of things will start to make sense as well.

I haven't read the whole thread so someone may have already made this point - but shouldn't the cost of childcare be shared between you and your DH? So instead of seeing the cost as taking up your entire salary, you look at how much you and DH bring in together and take the cost of childcare out of that. Less painful, and easier for you to justify going to work.

Don't forget too that going to work even for minimal take-home pay could be seen as an investment in your long-term career at this point - the longer any of us are out of the workplace, the harder it is to get back in.

I'm speaking as someone who is just finalising childcare arrangements for going back to work next month after my second maternity leave. It's definitely harder when you have a DC at school as well as a little one!