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Original poster

Conference. DS2 (15) with me. He's ill

112 replies

denhaag · 17/02/2025 19:51

I've come away to a conference (abroad). The only way I could come was if DS2 came with me. It's 1/2 term.
We arrived yesterday evening, all fine. I left early this morning for 1/2 day of workshops. Came back and DS2 is in bed unwell.
He had got up, had a shower (sitting down), ate a bowl of yogurt and then gone back to bed. He's pretty much slept the whole day.
Headache, dizzy, fever (I don't have a thermometer, but he feels warms to touch and is under a million covers). No sickness.
He got up briefly, then back to bed.

So.....now I don't know what to do. If we were at home and he reassured me he was just going to sleep or stay in bed and would call me if he needed me, or a friend/neighbour, then I'd feel OK going out.

I am presenting tomorrow. I have a colleague who could step in, but he's only been with us 5 months - the slides are OK and I have good talk notes, but it's horrid to dump something like that one someone.

It was 1/2hr walk each way so I could get back quickly in an Uber (or local delegate with a car).

I'm also worried that if he's still unwell on Wednesday he won't be able to travel - Eurostar late evening. I have insurance and the health card thingy but waaaaa....what rotten timing.

I'm a lone parent so no partner to talk it over with. I did msg my sister but she hasn't replied. I feel quite alone.

OP posts:
MounjaroOnMyMind · 17/02/2025 19:53

Oh that's awful. You need to get him to a doctor today.

cestlavielife · 17/02/2025 19:54

He will be fine
He can call hotel reception if super urgent
Take taxi both ways and go present
Then see how he is and if you need to delay travel
Go to late night pharmacy get peptobismol or equivalent and paracetamol

destiel00 · 17/02/2025 19:54

Oh, blimey.
Can you ask the hotel to contact a dr?

cestlavielife · 17/02/2025 19:55

Presume you have paracetamol and ibuprofen with you? If not go get some now from corner shop.or supermarket or late night pharmacy

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 19:56

Oh I don't think he needs to see a doctor, not right now - he'll hopefully just sleep it off is a day or two.

We are in an airbnb.

OP posts:
Everythingisnumbersnow · 17/02/2025 19:56

He's got a big

Leave him in bed

Hoppinggreen · 17/02/2025 19:57

If you were at home would you want him to see a Doctor?
I think you really really need to try and do the presentation if your son is in no danger.
Your employer has flown you out to wherever you are and allowed you to take your son, it will look pretty bad if you take the day off.
Presumably he has a phone and you can check it before and after the presentation and get back if needed.
Of course its hard to judge from here how poorly he is so you will need to judge it for yourself but my son is a similar age and he just sleeps when he is ill and then wakes up loads better so I would probably leave him

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 19:58

cestlavielife · 17/02/2025 19:55

Presume you have paracetamol and ibuprofen with you? If not go get some now from corner shop.or supermarket or late night pharmacy

I went to get paracetamol, then found a load in the bathroom cupboard.

I'm not concerned about him being ill at this stage, it's more what I should do about the conference.

Sorry....I don't mean to sound heartless, but I think it's just a virus. Obv if he declines then it'll be a different matter.

OP posts:
Kibble29 · 17/02/2025 19:58

This isn’t reason to hunt down a doctor at this point. People are really over the top. If he was a baby, that’s different.

He’ll have caught a bug, need lots of rest. Fluids, paracetamol, ibuprofen and some peace. Sorted in 48 hours.

DazzyRascale · 17/02/2025 19:59

I would absolutely do the presentation. Unless he deteriorates of course.

TokyoSushi · 17/02/2025 20:00

Oh I'm of the other view here, at 15 he'll very likely be fine in bed with paracetamol and you can come straight back in a taxi if very urgent, I'd carry on as planned.

pizzaHeart · 17/02/2025 20:00

I think you need to get a thermometer, just in case. Give him paracetamol in the morning and go for a presentation then come back and access the situation.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:02

Hoppinggreen · 17/02/2025 19:57

If you were at home would you want him to see a Doctor?
I think you really really need to try and do the presentation if your son is in no danger.
Your employer has flown you out to wherever you are and allowed you to take your son, it will look pretty bad if you take the day off.
Presumably he has a phone and you can check it before and after the presentation and get back if needed.
Of course its hard to judge from here how poorly he is so you will need to judge it for yourself but my son is a similar age and he just sleeps when he is ill and then wakes up loads better so I would probably leave him

No, my post wasn't about whether to see a doctor (I would have posted in health or something), it's about work.

I'm not worried about looking bad. If I tell my manager I am unable to leave my son then he won't question that. But I will feel bad, for all the reasons you say.
It's hard for me to travel for work (lone parent), but the timing worked for this.
I'm paying for his travel, but work paid for the accommodation (airbnb not much more than conference hotel). Skipped the conference meal etc.

My son is similar to yours - he will sleep. He's prone to ear infections which make him horribly dizzy, but this isn't that.

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 17/02/2025 20:02

If you were at home, would he just go and tuck up in bed with Meds? If so, he can do that here. Keep in contact with him during your work day tomorrow, going back to the air bnb when possible.

Then he can just rest. Travel home will be easier if he has a few days to kick it's arse first.

Chaseandstatus · 17/02/2025 20:03

I would go and do the presentation, your son just needs rest. I’m a single parent and I know how hard it is being the only wage earner, making a success of your career is an important part of parenting too!!

WorkCleanRepeat · 17/02/2025 20:03

As long as he has paracetamol I'd go to the conference. He'll be absolutely fine.

mynameiscalypso · 17/02/2025 20:04

Of course you go and do the presentation, he's 15. Give him the WiFi code and a Netflix account and he'll be golden.

Wheech · 17/02/2025 20:05

Can he not still call you if he needs you? If he can I think you should go and present, but have your colleague teed up just in case your son calls you.

I'm so impressed with you as a lone parent making this work. Go you!

CactusForever · 17/02/2025 20:05

I’d get a thermometer for sure, do that you can just check if he’s a bit hot vs actually a high fever.

Poor kid, hope he feels better soon.

SchoolDilemma17 · 17/02/2025 20:06

mynameiscalypso · 17/02/2025 20:04

Of course you go and do the presentation, he's 15. Give him the WiFi code and a Netflix account and he'll be golden.

💯

TickTockPolly · 17/02/2025 20:06

I’d get all your stuff ready for tomorrow. Clothes out, bag packed etc. Also prep what to do if you really can’t go (so write a briefing for your colleague). That way you can spend time in the morning tending to him and assessing what he needs without needing to rush about or send emails etc.

Assuming you’re not worried in the morning then act as you would at home. Go and get him to call if anything changes. Ask him not to have a shower alone or try to cook etc.

If he is too ill to travel on Wednesday, call your travel insurance. That what they are for.

Wanttobeanonhere · 17/02/2025 20:07

Do the presentation, he can call you if urgent and you can get an uber back. Leave him some snacks and drink handy so he doesn’t have to move out of bed.
It’s hard juggling, so get yourself a nice meal to reward yourself once it’s done. It’s tough being a single parent and making things like this work. Well done OP.
Hopefully after some sleep he feels better

mismomary · 17/02/2025 20:07

mynameiscalypso · 17/02/2025 20:04

Of course you go and do the presentation, he's 15. Give him the WiFi code and a Netflix account and he'll be golden.

Yep this.

TomatoSandwiches · 17/02/2025 20:08

Dose him up, make sure he has a mobile, water, a bucket for if he is sick and go to the conference, he's 15 he should be fine unless he has some SEN?

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:09

Lots of replies - thank you. I feel less alone now.
I'm getting a bit teary as well.
My really nasty ex used to jeer "off on your jolly" when I went on work trips leaving him to mind the house and kids. I do enjoy work trips so the "I'm a bad Mum" has festered.
I guess I still question myself.

He's had the wifi since before the door was even closed behind us, and has worked out the telly.

OP posts: