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Original poster

Conference. DS2 (15) with me. He's ill

112 replies

denhaag · 17/02/2025 19:51

I've come away to a conference (abroad). The only way I could come was if DS2 came with me. It's 1/2 term.
We arrived yesterday evening, all fine. I left early this morning for 1/2 day of workshops. Came back and DS2 is in bed unwell.
He had got up, had a shower (sitting down), ate a bowl of yogurt and then gone back to bed. He's pretty much slept the whole day.
Headache, dizzy, fever (I don't have a thermometer, but he feels warms to touch and is under a million covers). No sickness.
He got up briefly, then back to bed.

So.....now I don't know what to do. If we were at home and he reassured me he was just going to sleep or stay in bed and would call me if he needed me, or a friend/neighbour, then I'd feel OK going out.

I am presenting tomorrow. I have a colleague who could step in, but he's only been with us 5 months - the slides are OK and I have good talk notes, but it's horrid to dump something like that one someone.

It was 1/2hr walk each way so I could get back quickly in an Uber (or local delegate with a car).

I'm also worried that if he's still unwell on Wednesday he won't be able to travel - Eurostar late evening. I have insurance and the health card thingy but waaaaa....what rotten timing.

I'm a lone parent so no partner to talk it over with. I did msg my sister but she hasn't replied. I feel quite alone.

OP posts:
DazzyRascale · 17/02/2025 20:11

Also - you say he's under a million covers. I know he probably feels like he needs to warm up, but it's not good to be so wrapped up when he has a fever. Encourage him to remove some layers, even though it will feel counter intuitive to him

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:12

No SEN, he's (mostly) very mature, independent and sensible.
He will be able to contact me.
Just in case bathroom bin has been installed next to him.

Good idea to set some snacks out before I leave.

OP posts:
HabitHoarder · 17/02/2025 20:12

He will be fine! He’d probably have spent half the day in bed even if he wasn’t sick, if my dd15 is anything like him!

Netflix, phone+charger, a big pile of fruit, snacks and drinks by his bed, and leave him to it.

you sound like a great mum, btw. Stupid ex.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:13

DazzyRascale · 17/02/2025 20:11

Also - you say he's under a million covers. I know he probably feels like he needs to warm up, but it's not good to be so wrapped up when he has a fever. Encourage him to remove some layers, even though it will feel counter intuitive to him

Yes, I check on him shortly.
It's a double duvet doubled over and a thin bedspread. He's dressed, so I'm not letting him stay like that overnight.

OP posts:
Winederlust · 17/02/2025 20:15

He's 15. He'll be fine on his own in bed for a few hours.

SingingSands · 17/02/2025 20:17

You sound as though you really do have it all covered OP!

This is just a wobble because you can hear your stupid ex's words in your head.

You know your son, you know he'll be fine for a few hours lying in bed watching tv. Your presentation is prepped and ready to hand over to a colleague if things take a turn for the worse,but it sounds as though your DS has a bug and will recover with rest and fluids.

You are prepared and capable and handling it! Go you!

andyouwillknowusbythetrailofdead · 17/02/2025 20:19

I think you need to do the presentation if you possibly can. He's got a bug, possibly picked up on the flight over. He'll be fine, he just needs paracetamol and rest.

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 17/02/2025 20:19

Make sure he has lots of fluids 2litres plus, regular paracetamol, ibuprofen 6 hourly, plenty of rest and something to eat

BendingSpoons · 17/02/2025 20:19

As others have said, it is perfectly reasonable to leave him in bed. He is no more at risk because he is away from home, although he might feel slightly less comfortable. Tell him to call/message you if he feels worse and do what you need to do.

See how he is nearer the time to see about travel. I'm assuming you are the poster who wanted suggestions of what your DS could do on the trip and you were saying he would need to be out the AirBnB early. Could you enquire if they have another booking from Wed eve, so you could extend your stay if needed? Even if he is up to travelling, he might not be well enough for being out all day.

You are NOT a bad mum for travelling for work or for enjoying it! A good partner would have been pleased for you, but as he is your ex, I presume he wasn't a particularly good partner! It's also better your son is with you than home alone ill, so you made a good decision there!

zzplec · 17/02/2025 20:21

Did you have another post asking for suggestions for things for him to do on Wednesday between check-out time and your train in the evening?

What if he's still unwell on Wednesday? Where can he spend the day?

BigSilly · 17/02/2025 20:25

He's 15,practically an adult. Make sure you can receive his call any time if he feels his condition becomes serious

RaininSummer · 17/02/2025 20:34

Poor lad. Leave him in bed with easily accessible food and drink and meds. Make sure he understands doses for paracetamol. Hot lemon and honey if sore throat or cough. Get him to text you every hour or so and call if anything worse happens.

Floopsy · 17/02/2025 20:36

Whereabouts is the conference?

FiveBarGate · 17/02/2025 20:38

If it makes you feel any better, all of us have had something similar in the last week.

Headache, loss of appetite and tired (youngest had a bit of a temperature with it). We all wanted to lay in bed and not do much but it didn't come to any more than that.

Make sure he knows how to get hold of you, call him regularly to check in and it'll hopefully be fine.

He may well feel better by the morning anyway.

NattyTurtle59 · 17/02/2025 20:38

He will be fine as long as he can contact you if really necessary. My parents both worked, if I was sick at that age I was home alone all day.

SheridansPortSalut · 17/02/2025 20:41

You could be back in 10 mins by taxi if needed.
I think you're fine to go.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:43

Yes, that's me asking for suggestion on what DS could do on Wednesday.
I'm not thinking about that now.

I know he's no more at risk, I just feel more isolated - at home I'd have a friend who could be my proxy who he could call.

Anyway, just checked on him - he's awake!
He's going to settle in for the night soon. 2 paracetamol (had 2 earlier). Lots of fluid.
He says he'll be fine. I'll pop my head in his room before I leave. I'll know if he's declined (needs me) or the same (he'll be OK) or feeling perkier (fingers crossed).
I said I'm only going if I can trust that he will call me if he needs me - that he is more important than work.

OP posts:
alterego2 · 17/02/2025 20:43

I would think that, at 15, this is your son's call. If he feels that he will be ok tucked up in bed with the TV while you do your presentation - then that's ok (just put the DND on the door). If he asks you to stay behind - then you do what you must to get cover. At 15 most kids know if they really need their mum

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:45

BigSilly · 17/02/2025 20:25

He's 15,practically an adult. Make sure you can receive his call any time if he feels his condition becomes serious

Well not really. 15 (nearly 16) to 18 is quite a lot of growing up. But yes, he's a big old lump.

OP posts:
Chocbuttonsandredwine · 17/02/2025 20:45

Get him some nice snacks, juice and painkillers. He can contact you if needs be. He’ll be ok.

i say this as a single mum of a 17 year old who has been in this situation before. Infact, I need to go away over night tomorrow and leave him:… and he’s on crutches 😫

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:46

Floopsy · 17/02/2025 20:36

Whereabouts is the conference?

Why do you ask?

OP posts:
clarepetal · 17/02/2025 20:50

denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:43

Yes, that's me asking for suggestion on what DS could do on Wednesday.
I'm not thinking about that now.

I know he's no more at risk, I just feel more isolated - at home I'd have a friend who could be my proxy who he could call.

Anyway, just checked on him - he's awake!
He's going to settle in for the night soon. 2 paracetamol (had 2 earlier). Lots of fluid.
He says he'll be fine. I'll pop my head in his room before I leave. I'll know if he's declined (needs me) or the same (he'll be OK) or feeling perkier (fingers crossed).
I said I'm only going if I can trust that he will call me if he needs me - that he is more important than work.

And what else can you do? I think that sounds sensible and spot on. I'm sure he'll be OK.

Floopsy · 17/02/2025 20:50

denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:46

Why do you ask?

Show quote history

Nothing sinister. Just thought there might be some local Mumsnetters if you're in a European city/ town. Have just clocked your username, perhaps that gives it away?

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:53

Floopsy · 17/02/2025 20:50

Nothing sinister. Just thought there might be some local Mumsnetters if you're in a European city/ town. Have just clocked your username, perhaps that gives it away?

Show quote history

Ah sorry...you know how MN can be sometimes.
Yes, the clue's in the name!

OP posts:
Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:54

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 17/02/2025 20:45

Get him some nice snacks, juice and painkillers. He can contact you if needs be. He’ll be ok.

i say this as a single mum of a 17 year old who has been in this situation before. Infact, I need to go away over night tomorrow and leave him:… and he’s on crutches 😫

Oh god....crutches! Has the poor lad got a long list of "please don't try and......"!?

OP posts: