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Original poster

Conference. DS2 (15) with me. He's ill

112 replies

denhaag · 17/02/2025 19:51

I've come away to a conference (abroad). The only way I could come was if DS2 came with me. It's 1/2 term.
We arrived yesterday evening, all fine. I left early this morning for 1/2 day of workshops. Came back and DS2 is in bed unwell.
He had got up, had a shower (sitting down), ate a bowl of yogurt and then gone back to bed. He's pretty much slept the whole day.
Headache, dizzy, fever (I don't have a thermometer, but he feels warms to touch and is under a million covers). No sickness.
He got up briefly, then back to bed.

So.....now I don't know what to do. If we were at home and he reassured me he was just going to sleep or stay in bed and would call me if he needed me, or a friend/neighbour, then I'd feel OK going out.

I am presenting tomorrow. I have a colleague who could step in, but he's only been with us 5 months - the slides are OK and I have good talk notes, but it's horrid to dump something like that one someone.

It was 1/2hr walk each way so I could get back quickly in an Uber (or local delegate with a car).

I'm also worried that if he's still unwell on Wednesday he won't be able to travel - Eurostar late evening. I have insurance and the health card thingy but waaaaa....what rotten timing.

I'm a lone parent so no partner to talk it over with. I did msg my sister but she hasn't replied. I feel quite alone.

OP posts:
Sunnydays25 · 17/02/2025 20:57

If he's still sick and you can't extend the day in the hotel, you can book a room for just the day, at less than the overnight rate, google day rooms, I've done it a couple of times, really handy if you're unwell.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 20:59

Sunnydays25 · 17/02/2025 20:57

If he's still sick and you can't extend the day in the hotel, you can book a room for just the day, at less than the overnight rate, google day rooms, I've done it a couple of times, really handy if you're unwell.

We are in an airbnb, if he's still unwell tomorrow and looking like travel will be hard I'll ask the hosts if we can stay another day. If he's feeling lousy but well enough to travel I'll ask if we can delay out checkout time.

I'm not thinking about that now though.

OP posts:
Agapornis · 17/02/2025 21:02

If you're in the Netherlands like your username suggests, half the country has flu there atm 😬 hope he feels better soon, as you may already know paracetamol is only slightly more expensive, get yourself to an Etos. Then get him some Venco honey liquorice to soothe his throat ;) Keep well away from the children's suppositories 😅

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 17/02/2025 21:03

@denhaag he will be fine. just make sure there is plenty for him to drink at his bedside and in the fridge. if you get a lunchbreak at the conference, get some dioralyte and run back to airbnb with it or wait till the end of the day. He wont want any company anyway because he will be sleeping. x

Concretejungle1 · 17/02/2025 21:04

Go to the conference. Have your food. Do not feel mom guilt. You’ve worked for this.
he can call/text if needs you.
he has the tv and wifi, he is more than fine!
he will prob be better ( no offensive) as he will be able to feel/be ill on his own.
i always preferred not being constantly checked on and just left to be/feel lousy with my tv!

HappyHedgehog247 · 17/02/2025 21:05

You are doing a BRILLIANT job juggling all these competing demands and having to wrestle with the old inner dialogue and guilt as well. Sounds like he will be ok, and that if you really had to in the morning you can reassess. I hope you both get some sleep x

LionME · 17/02/2025 21:08

Do your presentation.
At worst, you’ll leave afterwards.

Tbh I think you’ll have more issues with travelling back if he is still unwell than with leaving him in his own for a few hours.
That’s what you’d have done at home anyway!

Agapornis · 17/02/2025 21:10

Eurostar is pretty doable when ill. If you're getting on in Rotterdam you can get away with being there 30 mins in advance. Sleep in the tiny lounge, sleep 3h15 on board (now there no bloody annoying Brussels change).

HelloTreacle9 · 17/02/2025 21:10

You’re amazing. Your boy will be fine, though I quite understand the worry. Get some sleep and go smash your presentation tomorrow. Hope all works out with recovery and travel. 🤗

SlaveToAGoldenRetriever · 17/02/2025 21:10

Just leave him in bed to sleep it off with some drinks, snacks and medication beside him. He’ll be fine and is old enough to contact you if not.

Gymmum82 · 17/02/2025 21:15

He’ll be fine. He’s 15 not 5 and has a virus. Give him some paracetamol in the morning. Check in with him at lunch by phone. If he’s worse before then he can ring you. I’m sure he’ll be fine to travel home as well. He’s a teenager with man flu

MarioLink · 17/02/2025 21:15

DD was like this on our most recent holiday. Felt no need for a thermometer as she felt obviously feverish so I don't think past the toddler years I needed the exact temperature, sweaty but she said she felt freezing. The worst lasted 18 hours, I got her some paracetamol and her fever went away and a sore throat developed. There's lots of flu/covid/bugs about.

I would make DS comfortable, give him a dose of paracetamol as you leave and have your phone on for him to call you if he needs you.

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 17/02/2025 21:17

Honestly you think it’s gets better as they get older but no. Here we are. Still at least it means he can’t drive which is one less thing to worry about 🤣

TheDefiant · 17/02/2025 21:26

You are doing brilliantly! Don't worry. )We know you will.)

Go present.

Make sure he knows to contact you and could your friend still be a proxy contact even though far away? Just in case he wants to talk to someone.

samarrange · 17/02/2025 21:27

I have insurance and the health card thingy

Just checking... assuming you mean a GHIC, then do you have one in your son's name as well? It's strictly personal, so you need one per person. He is still entitled to free healthcare in the EU but it's a lot easier if he has his own card. Otherwise if push does come to shove you would need to contact NHS Overseas Healthcare Services.

katepilar · 17/02/2025 21:27

Just let him sleep it off. No need for paracetamol unless he has high fever. Leave him drinks on bedside table and some easy food, fruit, yoghurt, thermos flask if you have one, etc. and go to your conference to present. Good luck!

Hwi · 17/02/2025 21:28

If he is not photophobic, just go and present! You would have not been worried unduly if he were at home?

deconstructingKaren · 17/02/2025 21:30

Don't question yourself and lots of luck for your presentation.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 21:32

samarrange · 17/02/2025 21:27

I have insurance and the health card thingy

Just checking... assuming you mean a GHIC, then do you have one in your son's name as well? It's strictly personal, so you need one per person. He is still entitled to free healthcare in the EU but it's a lot easier if he has his own card. Otherwise if push does come to shove you would need to contact NHS Overseas Healthcare Services.

Yes, we have one each.

OP posts:
Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 21:33

Hwi · 17/02/2025 21:28

If he is not photophobic, just go and present! You would have not been worried unduly if he were at home?

I would have been as worried for him, it's not nice to be poorly, but I'd have a local friend on hand as back up. It's not a big difference, but it'll a little easier at home.
He's actually said it's better being ill here as he's not missing going out with his mates and seeing his GF. Glass half full there!

OP posts:
Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 21:34

TheDefiant · 17/02/2025 21:26

You are doing brilliantly! Don't worry. )We know you will.)

Go present.

Make sure he knows to contact you and could your friend still be a proxy contact even though far away? Just in case he wants to talk to someone.

Yes, he could message my sister for company. She'll make him feel brighter.

OP posts:
happy2025 · 17/02/2025 21:34

100% do the presentation and do it well. Good luck.

Original poster
denhaag · 17/02/2025 21:36

Thank you so much, I do feel much more confident now.
You're a bunch of good eggs.

I just popped to the shop, got him some strepsils (strepfen), squash and a bag of Haribo.

OP posts:
custardpyjamas · 17/02/2025 21:38

What does he want? If he says he's fine to be left with contact numbers leave him, if he doesn't want you to go figure something else out.

HereBeWormholes · 17/02/2025 21:39

denhaag · 17/02/2025 21:33

I would have been as worried for him, it's not nice to be poorly, but I'd have a local friend on hand as back up. It's not a big difference, but it'll a little easier at home.
He's actually said it's better being ill here as he's not missing going out with his mates and seeing his GF. Glass half full there!

Show quote history

Sounds like he has a great attitude, and it's clear where he gets that from! 😄

You'll be five minutes drive from him, he has communications... you go and do a knockout presentation and then you'll be free to coddle your (big) boy! 👍