The need to work or not?

[Stumpy54321]

Hi
i recently gave up work with a view to having a bit of a break maybe 6 months or so. Had some health issues and just wanted to reset.
Financially I’m lucky that I am able to do this as I’ve only worked part time since having kids, (they are now grown up and working themselves) I havnt had to contribute to household bills just use my wages as I wanted. I’ve saved quite a bit over the last year knowing I was quitting work. My question is if you didn’t have to work financially would you? Would you miss the work life / home life and interaction with others

Yes but you've only saved that because you allow someone else to fund your living costs.

My answer was not unless both of us didn't have to work. It would be selfish of me.

Your relationship is obviously different to OPs and different things work for different people.

I don't have to work to pay the bills etc but I do for various reasons. I was made redundant last year and had a few months off between jobs and was bored out of my mind. Mental health really suffered. Secondly I want my own pension. Thirdly, we could get by fine on DH salary but with mine added we can save more, have better holidays, no concerns about funding any of DD's hobbies or interests etc

You may not feel vulnerable but you are. No one is judging your lifestyle but it's a fact that it puts you in a vulnerable position.

After receiving an inheritance I gave up my ‘proper’ job about 18 months ago & have since had periods of not working interspersed with a few part time temporary jobs & done some training courses. DH has supported us during this time.
I really struggled during the times when I wasn’t working at all & have recently been offered a permanent job with my old employer which I’m really looking forward to. It’s only 2 days a week but will give me some structure & sense of purpose. Plus I will feel much better to be able to contribute to our family finances even if we could technically manage without.
I think some people love not working but I’m not great at motivating myself & need something to get out of bed for. I think it’s good for the DC to know that I work too.
if you’re in a position to give up work then it’s great to try it & you can always find another job if you need to.
pp have made good points re long term finances / security / pensions though.

If you’ve got to your sixties OP with your setup then fair play, you’re probably past the point of being overly vulnerable. Give up work if you want to.

Your question was would people
work if they didn’t have to. Many people have answered “no”, but they would feel they HAD to unless they were independently wealthy - not because someone else offered to support them. Because that is such a big risk to take. It’s worked out for you. That’s good.

I’m in my 20s and in a career that earns me a passive income. I work maybe 15 hours a week for half the year on a project, and then take the rest of the year off. I’m very, very lucky to be able to work so little and to be paid well for it, however I work alone, from home, and it’s all mental work. The first few years were super fun! No early alarms. Lots of time for dog walks and attending the gym and keeping on top of house cleaning. Free to please myself.

However… my partner, friends and family all work full time jobs. So although I have lots of time for social plans, everyone else is at work! So the days begin to drag and all roll into one. There’s only so much Netflix I can watch and dusting to be done.

So I now work one shift a week in a coffee shop by choice. It breaks up the mental solitude of my main job during the months I’m working on a project, and the rest of the year the side job is just a social thing for me. I get to socialise with coworkers and the public, enjoy free coffee, and work in a physically demanding role for a change which is honestly fun for me. I really enjoy it, most likely because I’m there by choice rather than necessity. And the extra £££ each month is a nice boost too.

It’s like how often people retire, then soon find themselves searching for part time work, volunteer roles, new hobbies etc. Having lots of free time is a novelty at first but it very quickly wears off.

So yes, even if I was financially stable enough to not work at all, I’d still need something to fight off the boredom!

I couldn't let someone else support me and carry the financial burden if I wasn't looking after kids/had caring responsibilities etc. it would feel too uneven and my own sense of self pride would take a hit. Can you freelance or work part time? I've always earned my own money and always want to.

I wouldn't ever want to be reliant on another person so for that reason I wouldn't give up work.

Lottery style win : I’d give up work in a shot.

Don’t need two salaries : I’d probably work. I’d be nervous about what would happen if DH died/life limiting illness etc. Mind you, if he was a very very high earner I might think about it! As it is, I am the higher earner in our house, I’d quite like to get to the point we could both drop a day. But still to get DC through uni and have a mortgage to pay, so that’s a way off.

Retire early with DH still working : would happily do so if DH was happy, I had my own savings, decent pension pot.

one of us could have given up work when our first child was born. We still could really. Neither of us wanted to, we like the lifestyle our two salaries can afford. I would always want to do some kind of work, I’ve had periods at home and haven’t enjoyed it at all, same with my husband. If I became a multimillionaire (emphasis on the multi), then I would probably give up my current work, but do something in the same field (open my own practice). If we didn’t have children we would both give up and travel the world. But, there is no way I would give it up just to stay at home and do nothing.

I like being busy but don't need to work to fulfil that. Sadly I need to work to pay the bills.

Thank you for everyone’s input. Feel went off topic IMO but fyi. I don’t feel vulnerable, I’m not sponging of DH, we are both happy with the way our household is run, I have paid NI for over 35 years no gaps and will get full pension. I have 2 other pensions work and personal. I will not question if my marriage should fail. If we always questioned the what ifs in life we wouldn’t do anything would we. How many of us take on huge mortgages in the basis of staying in employment. We all hope for the best and live our lives accordingly.

Yes that is true but I could have also just wasted my salary away but I havnt. All the more reason why we can manage without it.

Hoping for the best isn’t good enough for me when I can make choices that won’t leave me so financially vulnerable.

I also wouldn’t take out a mortgage that would mean we’d struggle massively if one of us lost our jobs.

Many people do though. Mortgage , car, loans as they can afford it. We’ve seen over the last few years with interest rates going up repayments massively increasing for some people. We are all different and live our lives how we see fit.

Of course. They are also making themselves financially vulnerable.

i think we all can potentially make ourselves vulnerable, whether deliberately or not. But we have to enjoy life don’t we? It’s far too short.

You can enjoy life without making yourself financially vulnerable. I enjoy life more feeling secure.

I think what perhaps some of the posters here are overlooking is that, even though they may be financial dependents, some women are in a vastly better financial position due to their DH's salary than they ever would have been by themselves. Consequently, it actually makes financial sense to support and facilitate their DH in pursuit of that continued income. Whatever salary I generate will be a pittance compared to what I would get on divorce. Of course there is a risk that DH hides it or fritters it away but a number of assets are solely in my name so he couldn't do that with everything and, even if he did it with all of the assets in his sole name and I had to give him 50% of the assets in my name, whilst it would be a massive financial adjustment, these are all things he has essentially funded in the first place so doesn't strike me as being that unfair. In many ways, DH is the financially vulnerable one as I would be entitled to 50% of his assets.
Also, there comes a stage where you think why I am operating on the basis of the worst case scenario. Yes, DH could act contrary to how he has done for the last 20+ years - and, yes, if there is another woman murmuring sweet nothings and financial advice in his ears, the chances of that are much higher - but I can make day to day life much nicer for myself, for the DC and for DH by not working so why not enjoy it whilst I can.
I also feel that I can get a sense of achievement and identity from things other than work (even if some of them may be quite similar to my previous job, just in a voluntary capacity now).

Part time 2 short days would be ideal

I wouldn’t work in a job if I didn’t need the money but I would write books and work on getting them published (I have already written novels, not that you’d believe it from my autocorrect, tiny phone typing on here). I’d also pursue other interests which need more time than I have around work and single parenting.

I think what perhaps some of the posters here are overlooking is that, even though they may be financial dependents, some women are in a vastly better financial position due to their DH's salary than they ever would have been by themselves.

Makes you sound like a gold digger quite frankly.

Makes you sound like a gold digger quite frankly

I would only see someone as a gold digger if they were searching for someone solely for financial reasons. I don't read the PP post as saying that.

OP, no, I wouldn't miss work. I would still see my friends from work anyway and I have lots of things I do outside of work and could definitely fill my time in other ways, so it wouldn't stop me from having adult company.
I don't need work to feel fulfilled, I don't (nor does my DH) place my own value on how much someone else is willing to pay me to do a job for them. And it definitely doesn't define who I am.
I rarely talk about work anyway with my friends or DH so it wouldn't impact me there.

It sounds like you and your DH are a good team and have a happy balance. If you have 7 years left, I would maybe look into how much your own pension pot is and overpay into that if its a bit low. Maybe part time would work to give a nice balance.