The need to work or not?

[Stumpy54321]

Hi
i recently gave up work with a view to having a bit of a break maybe 6 months or so. Had some health issues and just wanted to reset.
Financially I’m lucky that I am able to do this as I’ve only worked part time since having kids, (they are now grown up and working themselves) I havnt had to contribute to household bills just use my wages as I wanted. I’ve saved quite a bit over the last year knowing I was quitting work. My question is if you didn’t have to work financially would you? Would you miss the work life / home life and interaction with others

Can I just add to everyone who’s said about me being financially dependent on DH. Yes that’s true and I have been since the kids were born as that’s when I went from full time to part time. This has always worked for us and don’t feel vulnerable. He’s a good provider and is a high earner. Since having the kids I’ve always worked part time jobs working around them that’s suited us as a family. For reference I’m around 5-6 years of retirement age. DH is around 5-8 years away.

I work full time but I have no one to financially support me (not that I would feel comfortable relying on someone anyway). Hoping I can drop down to 4 days a week in the next few years.

If I didn't need to then I probably wouldn't, or I'd work in a more fulfilling role/volunteer.

I'm also glad that my lifestyle isn't dependent on a partner.

What do you really want to do?
Do you want to give up work altogether.

Or do you want to work part time?

You might not feel it but depending on someone else financially does put you in a vulnerable situation.

I would work, there are links between not working and getting dementia.

I probably would work in the job that I have at the moment as would want more of a labour of love rather than doing it for the money.

Well that was part of my original post. I have been working part time for many years. I’m happy to carry on part time but just wanted people’s thoughts about not working if they didn’t need to but it seems to of made people think I’m making myself vulnerable

I understand that but it’s been like this for me for 20 years and I definitely don’t feel vulnerable

You might not feel vulnerable and hopefully nothing will happen but if you did, you’d soon feel vulnerable.

I’d definitely work at least part time.

I'll keep working as long as I have a job I enjoy and people I enjoy working with. I'll drop to part-time at some point - I'm 55 now so maybe 58 or so maybe part-time. I like the interaction and focus of having a job,

If I was independently wealthy I wouldn't work, WFH now means I don't get those positive aspects of working like socialising. I would volunteer though or go back to working as a TA which I loved but couldn't afford to continue.

My DMum has supported my DDad for about 2 decades after he developed physical and MH issues whicheans he has good days and bad, he receives no benefits. He did nearly all of my childcare and school runs when DD was at Primary. He does the chores around the house, goes to the gym or local athletics field to run (exercise is important for his physical health issue), goes and chats to homeless people and litter picks our local beach and woods. Regardless of not being in paid work having that routine and contributing to society / community / environment is important for emotional and mental wellbeing.

@Stumpy54321 the financial vulnerability is a real issue, what is your pension looking like? Will you have enough years to access the state one? Do you have a private one your DH has been putting into.

It comes down to how you define ‘need’ for money.

Eg if I live to 80+ that’s 30+ years of costs to cover. Would like enough money to live on until that age with a similar lifestyle to now (but reduced outgoings), if was single and without relying on any inheritance or public funds other than the usual, eg NHS and state pension.

In the scenario of not working and divorce in my 50s with adult DC I’d probably not have much money, even if got a share of DH’s pension from a later age.

With respect, that's delusional.

I wouldn’t work if I didn’t need to. There are lots of other things I’d rather be doing. I’ll be retiring early soon as I’ve got a very good pension, so I can fund my retirement myself.

In your shoes, I’d only stop working if I had a great pension & not if you’re relying on your DH’s pension.

If I didn't have to work there are so many things I'd want to learn - I'd probably do a second undergraduate degree in English Literature, an MFA in playwrighting and a PhD in Economic Sociology. I'd have French and Piano lessons every day, and do much more volunteering on nature reserves and conservation projects, as well as voluntary maths tutoring. Are there things you'd like to learn or causes you'd like to contribute to?

I have a private and work pension. DH has works pension. We don’t have a mortgage or debt. im sure there are plenty of housewives that don’t work and stay home to look after the home and children, are they making themselves vulnerable?

Of course they are.

Relying on being bankrolled by a husband is certainly a risk. For some it works out and the gamble pays off. The OP appears to be one of them. As it happens, so am I. Although I work, there have been long spells where I haven’t and I now do something I love fundamentally as a ‘hobby’ and OH is retired

Despite it working for me, I’m not convinced I would advise a daughter to follow that path. Vulnerability is not a good idea really, I just got lucky

It’s not at all. It’s worked for many years DH and myself are very happy and has been good for the children always having a parent at home.

Thank you. Maybe I got lucky as well. It does happen. No one knows others personal circumstances if it works for you then all good but if not then do something about it

It works until it doesn’t and the risk is not knowing if you’ll be one of the lucky ones or if DH will decide he wants to leave.

That’s what makes someone vulnerable.

I think being mentally well depends for most of us on having a sense of purpose. I'm retired now but am an artist and feel very unbalanced if I don't have a painting on the go.

yes, those women are financially vulnerable.

If your total personal pension would be decent from X age if you stop work now or soon, that’s great and not the norm.

It's not necessarily a vulnerability of breaking up, which is a massive issue but perhaps less so now you are out of the more stressful years of childrearing. But if something happens to DH, illness, accident or death which is more likely at your age and whether or not you could take over the household bills etc as it's harder to get back into work once you've been out of it for a while.

Of course you and DH may well be well covered by various insurances that cater for these issues in which case that is fantastic and well done. But many people are not and they get left in a right pickle.

Financial independence and having my own pension is very important to me (I'm married and manage all the finances). But if we were lottery winners or something then yes I'd give up work. But it would need to be enough to sustain a good lifestyle for the next 50 years or so!