What should I say to my co-worker who got my name for secret Santa and the gift is no good?

[user1471867483]

Unfortunately, she gave me a used present. Also, the instructions were to buy a new gift for people. I'm a UK size 6 and she got me a navy and dark green tartan dress in a UK size 20 😱. I'm shocked and confused, but the gift was accompanied by a Christmas card saying she can't wait for me to comment on it (the dress) when we're back at work after the holidays. What shall I tell her? I have no option but to give it to charity. The dress is sooooo big, I could get two other people in it with me 🤷

Take a pic of you in it (maybe more than one of you) take the dress to a charity shop, and show the picture round

As it’s a colleague I’d just say thank you so much it was lovely and try and move the convo on. Or if you want to bring it up just go for something like it was so lovely, I loved the pattern but doesn’t quite fit? And see what she says

Tell her that you rarely go to fancy dress parties so the gift is unsuitable.

Also she could have brought the gift from a charity shop. So while it is used it is still a new purchase.

I'd give it straight back to her saying something like 'I think there was a mix up'

How much was the budget!

Oh for goodness sake, say thank you and forget about it.

You do seem to have a lot of problems with work colleagues. They were offended about your Christmas card. they dont like you taking and keeping selfies

Maybe time for you to move on?

Ask her if she hates you and if not then why did she get you a totally shit gift ?

If she wants you to comment I would comment that you think she must have muddled your gift up with another of her friends' gifts as you received a dress that was 7 sizes bigger than you wear and that one of her friends who is size 20 is thinking WTF at getting a size 6 dress. I would say I am happy to bring it back in so she can give it to the person she meant to give it to. I would also be saying this in front of everyone.

You say "thank you" and no more.

If you think you genuinely have a case for a grievance re bullying then take advice from ACAS.

Do you know who the secret Santa is?

I’d say absolutely nothing…
if asked about it, id demure.
if pressed…I’d say your secret Santa gave you a used dress 7 sizes too big…
If they ask what you think / if you liked it?
id ask what they’d think if they received a used dress 7 sizes too big…

In general, say thank you and forget about it.

But in this case, do you think she was trying to wind you up? That is so far out in size it must be on purpose.

I think I'd make a joke of it, say she must have misread the label, it was huge but gave you all a great laugh so no harm done.

Do other people know who she is?
If so, a private message reminding her of the terms of the Secret Santa agreement, and a suggestion that she donates the money she shoukd have spent on you to a charity.

If your co-workers don't know, you could also consider sending round a pic of this totally unsuitable gift for LOLs, remind them all of the terms of the Secret Santa agreement and suggest the person who dishonestly took a gift from the scheme donate the money she didn't spend to charity.

Who knows? Others might join in with their 'well, guess what I got!' pics

Take a photo of yourself wearing it

Send it on the group chat

Thanks to whom ever bought me this dress in size 20

I'll cut it up and cover my dog basket

I'm a UK size 6 and she got me a navy and dark green tartan dress in a UK size 20

Nah.

What kind of secret Santa includes the instructions to "buy a new gift"? And how much was the budget? How do you know who it was from, does the secret element not apply?

Sounds to me that organising the secret Santa should be delegated to someone different next year.

Are you perhaps not in the UK (hence the need to specify the size), is that why your SS beats no relation to any that I've ever been involved in

I’d just donate to charity and if she asks more about it say it was lovely but sadly way too big. Wouldn’t elaborate or think more on this.

Laugh it off and ignore? It's only secret Santa. My work SS gift went straight to a food bank.

She put her name at the end of her card and it's £5.

Say thank you and move on. Don't stoop to her level.

She’s clearly an idiot. What part of “secret” does she not understand? Just ignore her and put the dress in the bin (and take note to be extra careful to explain basic stuff to her if you ever end up on a work project together).

Did she leave the price paid for the dress on it or write it on the card?

Dear God, why do you care about a £5 stupid meaningless gift?

Aren’t you supposed to reveal who gave what at the end of the Secret Santa so the giver here thought this way round was ok?

No.