He raised his voice and said "LET. ME. FINISH"

[Yomuma]

I have worked with his chap for a couple of years. We are at a similar level and have the same line manager.

I have had ongoing issues with him, as have numerous others. A few colleagues have come to me in tears over the way he has spoken to them (harshly and aggressively). I personally think he is borderline incompetent at his job (I have been in the company for 18 years so would like to think I can judge this). I keep raising it, but my line manager has just retired, the new one is only just getting up to speed and our HR partner has just left. So it is not getting much traction.

The last few days I have had a very specific challenge that I don't know how to deal with. Yesterday, on a call with a new client (around 8 of us in the teams meeting) he launched into a bit of a rant / reasons why we should do this or not do that (none of it correct / he had his facts wrong). I had some really valid points relating to what he was saying (answer to his issue / question). I tried to jump in by saying "ah, on that point..." to direct the conversation in a useful direction, at which point he leaned in to his camera, raised his voice and said (slowly) "LET...ME...FINISH". I just mumbled sorry and shut up. It was really awkward and I felt like I then couldn't contribute. By the time he had finished speaking, we were on to a new topic, and time was up so I never got to make my points. This or something similar has happened a few times. Last week on a meeting he said / shouted "LIPS STILL MOVING" when I tried to interject.

I am frustrated that I don't have a response to him or way of dealing with it, other than to just 'shut up' and do as I am told.

I'm really keen to know who you would deal with it, or what response I can give in the moment?

keep a written log of incidents and encourage your colleagues to do the same. even if they are historical and go back a while. Ask for a meeting and discuss with your new manager ASAP.

He's acting very unprofessional if you're on a call with a client!!

You need to talk to him and point out you were trying to raise an important point, and found him aggressive towards you.

Also, make notes in meetings so you can (and to use a phrase I loathe) "circle back round" to the points you want to raise at the end of the meeting.

But really, I'd be telling your manager about his unprofessional behaviour in external meetings.

It's certainly unprofessional behaviour in front of a client, but so is interrupting.

Do you struggle to wait until others have finished speaking before adding your views?

Your not going to have any clients left the way he is going

Are calls recorded?

Are these meetings recorded? I find it hard to talk on phone sometimes as there can be a delay and this means that I end up.talking over someone or they me. I would not expect to be spoken to in such a manner. As for meeting, how would his behaviour have looked to a client?

I would send him an email entitled Meeting Etiquette

Dear Bob
During yesterday’s meeting you repeatedly talked over me, leaned into your camera and raised your voice. You may not realise how you are coming across so I wanted to flag up that this is no way to behave towards your colleagues and clients.
Regards
OP

Is this on Teams? Can you use the 'raise hand' function so it's clear you want to speak when he's finished? Not suggesting his behaviour is acceptable, particularly in front of a new client (that's horrendous) but to force him to acknowledge you need to add something to the conversation.

Who is leading these calls, is it him? Or is he just being allowed to dominate with his incorrect opinions?

Or, to pick up on previous point, are you interrupting because he doesn't leave space for others to talk? If this is the case you could try addressing this with him, as it's more "solution focused"
But also, he sounds like a PITA. Note everything and keep raising it with LM. Also don't let his twattish behaviour stop you speaking. He is only showing himself up.

To be fair my husband and my daughter " interjects" midway and I have to tell them both to LET ME FINISH , because I do have a point so don't try to silence me. Have your say afterwards? Clealy his points seem Valid to him .
Why does your point to the cause of interrupting trump his ?

"actually, I need to circle back to something we were discussing a few moments ago as I feel it's important to add..."

"Can we go back to xyz because I can clarify some of the issues, and then we can move on to this.'

To be fair, interrupting someone is really quite rude. It would have been much more effective in that meeting if you had just noted down his points, and then calmly gone through them one by one showing why he was wrong. That would demolish him much more effectively than jumping in part way through. If he then interrupted you, which is quite likely, you have the high ground.

{Edit: sorry, I realised too late that I shouldn't have quoted the original message, but the edit function won't let me delete it}

That’s awful. It is rude to talk over people so YABU for doing so (sorry but it irks me so much when people think they can talk over me) and I gently say “Please don’t talk over me, it’s incredibly rude”

but…. the way he handled it was awful. And YANBU for feeling the way you do. Especially on a client call AND when he’s saying absolute nonsense and you have to frantically correct him which involves talking over him and poking the bear. Raising a hand on Teams will likely be ignored by this sort of personality.

I expect anyone who works with him will be job hunting.

No I have not had the feedback from anyone else that in interrupt them, if anything I am told I need to speak up more / stop being so polite / just interject if I have something to say, because I struggle to get my point across sometimes (lack confidence) so this is a totally new thing to me...which is probably why I am struggling to know how to deal with it !

'Lios still moving' is incredibly rude and unprofessional, 'let me finish' not ideal, but I can see his point.
I think this is where virtual meetings aren't as effective as 'in the flesh' and the downside of working from home / physically away from each other.
Solutions:
What happens if you raise the hand icon available on teams?
Could you type your response, so your opinion can be seen but won't interrupt his flow?
Does anyone chair the meeting? If not could you recommend this to your line manager?
I'd ask your line manager to join the next team meeting so he can see what's happening and then in theory address your colleagues inability to keep up a professional demeanour.

Agree, keep a diary of incidents, and after a period of time, once your line manager seems established in their role, raise it again.

If he spoke like this in front of a client, giving them wrong information and then shouting at you, it's a reputational risk for the company and you should raise it with your line manager.

And then once you have the mic, you can if necessary ask him to let you finish!

It sounds like maybe your meetings need someone 'chairing' them more effectively? The person running them gets the items for discussion first, and then takes note of questions/clarifications typed in the chat window.

Is this happening on Teams calls? Just mute him. He won't know who's done it.

He said those things in FRONT OF A CLIENT?

Are the meetings recorded?

He sounds awful

You need to learn to stand up for yourself

Get evidence and go to your union

Tbh I wouldn’t care if he said it in front of a client or in front of his cat … crappy and rude

i have had this; I would send him personally an email and I would ask him to be conscious of his tone as it’s demeaning and intimidating. Make sure you use keywords like this which imply harassment

if he does it again in front of others be ready with a comeback “calm down please “ or the best one “are you ok?”

you must be strong on this, don’t let this dick talk like this . As long as you’re professional you’re fine !

Have you ever timed the length of his rants/interventions and calculated as a percentage of total meeting time? It would be interesting to know share of air time for each of the principal intervenors at the meeting. Then you can decide whether this bolsters your approach to LM with the other points that have been mentioned (log of incidents etc).

I once did this with an overly loquacious colleague (although she was not at all rude and she most certainly knew her stuff, she did frustrate others by dominating meetings with unnecessary anecdotes that she found scintillating). I didn’t use the info in any way because I have got a bit better at getting the meeting back on track, but it helped me feel justified when I began gently interrupting her with “well, seeing as we’re running out of time, to get back to agenda item number three…” and she took it well. For you, this has not worked because your colleague is both incompetent and nasty so yes, you need to take it higher if he won’t listen to you.

I mean... is he pissed because you frequently try to interrupt and talk over him?

why by the time he had finished had the subject moved on? how can that be?
he was rude
you shouldnt interrupt on teams.
is there a chair?

I don't think interrupting is always rude. Some people talk in a way that hogs all the airtime leaves zero space for anyone else to interject or add their point. Fine if you are delivering a speech, but not ok in a collaborative work environment.

I find myself forced to interrupt in these situations, because, for example, the issue that the person is discussing may already have been dealt with. If they keep wittering on, it's wasting valuable meeting time.

I work with people like this.
I call it out, there and then.
If he says I’m still talking or similarly keeps blathering on a load of rubbish, I’d correct him. (Politely as possible) at the time.
”apologies but actually there have been developments in this area and it’s x now,”
or
“there was a recent update, on that point actually it won’t work because now X, I can share the details with you offline, however if……”
assertive, polite, but always give them an out in public - oh no! I see you were left off the mail trail on that!