He raised his voice and said "LET. ME. FINISH"

[Yomuma]

I have worked with his chap for a couple of years. We are at a similar level and have the same line manager.

I have had ongoing issues with him, as have numerous others. A few colleagues have come to me in tears over the way he has spoken to them (harshly and aggressively). I personally think he is borderline incompetent at his job (I have been in the company for 18 years so would like to think I can judge this). I keep raising it, but my line manager has just retired, the new one is only just getting up to speed and our HR partner has just left. So it is not getting much traction.

The last few days I have had a very specific challenge that I don't know how to deal with. Yesterday, on a call with a new client (around 8 of us in the teams meeting) he launched into a bit of a rant / reasons why we should do this or not do that (none of it correct / he had his facts wrong). I had some really valid points relating to what he was saying (answer to his issue / question). I tried to jump in by saying "ah, on that point..." to direct the conversation in a useful direction, at which point he leaned in to his camera, raised his voice and said (slowly) "LET...ME...FINISH". I just mumbled sorry and shut up. It was really awkward and I felt like I then couldn't contribute. By the time he had finished speaking, we were on to a new topic, and time was up so I never got to make my points. This or something similar has happened a few times. Last week on a meeting he said / shouted "LIPS STILL MOVING" when I tried to interject.

I am frustrated that I don't have a response to him or way of dealing with it, other than to just 'shut up' and do as I am told.

I'm really keen to know who you would deal with it, or what response I can give in the moment?

That.

excellent way back at it. I wouldn’t jump in while he is speaking…to me it is rude. Not a question of line of management, just rude. Just wait for your turn?

My jaw is on the floor with the 'lips still moving' comment!! A person who dominates a whole conversion and then accuses anyone one else who tries to talk of interrupting, is a giant prick.

The response is “NO, because you are wrong and I will tell you why.. “

Reminds me of “you have no authority here Jackie Weaver”
possibly dislikes women 🤷🏼‍♂️
Ask to have recorded meetings

Your colleague should not behave like that but especially on a client call, its hugely unprofessional. If I was the client I'd consider if this is a partner I want to work with.
I've got to admit, I'm becoming the one at work who has to say "let me finish". This is because my colleague will dominate a conversation and doesn't leave space for others to talk. It doesn't sound like you are dominating the conversation though, just asking for your share of time. I think you could have conceivably gone back and made your point even if the conversation had moved on.
I would report your colleagues behaviour to your manager and share the recording of the call if there is one.

Who is in charge of the meeting? It's the chair persons responsibility to interject. It sounds like you all wfh, in my meetings if someone said that, they would be gone from the meeting, an apology said by me to all attendees and a short message sent to the fool and their line manager. However when I'm not in charge of the meeting and the person isn't controlling the meeting. I would either do a hand raise in the app or if on camera I would raise my hand to interject. Sounds odd, but usually the big headed fools say something like, why you got your hand up? It stops their control of a meeting, it injects a little bot of humour, but also shows your disdain and gives the control to you. Do you work in IT?

Have you witnessed him say these things to others or is it just you?

Sounds like you both have a mutual dislike for each other.
best to have a conversation with him and air it out,

I find it’s useful to use the “raise hand” button in these cases, so he and the others can see you want to add to the discussion, rather than wait until the end of the meeting or interrupt.

Plenty of meetings don’t have chairs. In my line of work, board meetings do, but a meeting between client and contractor would not.

You and @August1980 need t read the OP's posts, particularly the most recent where he had a go at a client.

Why didn't the rest of you in the meeting intervene? Why didn't whoever was chairing it mute him? Did you really just let him carry on ranting at the client?

Wow, how your colleague still has a job at the end of today I do not know. This is your manager's responsibility to deal with this, it's unacceptable behaviour on all levels.

but at the same time butting in is also rude and unprofessional , all topics should be discussed before it gets to the teams call with the client , so that everyone has accurate intelligence of x matters, so then the only one that should be asking questions is the client and all the staff members should be already singing from the same page otherwise then the client teams call should be limited to those that are influential with the client and who know accurate information so the clients time is not wasted with staff members being rude via interrupting and other staff members discussing inaccurate information.

Right!! OP said the line manager was there too and just stayed silent 🥴 if I was the client I’d be seriously considering going a different direction.

Lips still moving!!!! God he sounds like David Brent from the office!!

Very rude to interrupt someone mid flow no wonder he was blunt to you. If you want to continue a point someone is making wait and use language tp revert back. Interrupting is not the way to interject.

@Secradonugh Just curious. Why do you ask if the OP works in IT?

Because I do and there are a multitude of different personalities especially aspergers and autism and due to those people who are usually very controlled very easy to get along with, we end up getting other 'demanding' personality types. Due to poor team leadership the demanding personalities are sometimes seen by the managers with no ND training, as 'autistic' and the bullying type are never brought to account. Hence why I do bring them to account myself. It's unfair to all the truelly mild to very autistic people we employ to be tarred with the same brush as the brash and opinionated. Most engineers also will not argue back because again their personality traits are usually withdrawing from confrontation and not understanding why someone is being confrontational.

For those saying “it’s very rude to interrupt” - have you ever been on a teams meeting with someone monologuing, not giving the normal pauses and not looking round to check body language?

If you are a good meeting participant then no one should have to interrupt you, because you should leave space for them.

Precisely. I have one person who, when he speaks, he turns off his ears and then when others speak he doesn't listen properly. If im chairing the meeting he gets messages from me, saying things like, 'if you dont give someone your attention then you are being disrespectful to them and everyone else. Please listen to them.'
We aren't allowed video on some of our calls due to security so we cant check body language, however it's still easily detectable in just audio. Give pauses,

I work in tech. I don't believe that this person would be misunderstood to be autistic. If you have no awareness of what autism is, you wouldn't have that on your radar at all. The reality is a lot of managers are not great at managing difficult people - that's both in tech and outside tech.

Whilst I understand the point you're trying to make:

(1) There is no longer a distinction between Aspergers and Autism and a lot of autistic people find the term 'Aspergers' offensive (not all) because of who Hans Asperger was.
(2) Suggesting that there is such a thing as 'mild' autism is also offensive to a lot (not all) of autistic people.

Just the idea that this type of personality might be equated to autism is very offensive. Being autistic does NOT make you an arsehole (but some autistic people are arseholes, because autistic people are (shock horror) people). Being autistic can sometimes mean you struggle to understand the normal flow of a conversation, but that would normally be something that manifests as not knowing when it is appropriate to speak (i.e. when it would or wouldn't be considered to be 'interrupting'), rather than getting upset if someone interrupts you.

Autistic people also aren't "usually very controlled very easy to get along with". They are all different. There's no 'usually' about autistic people (or non-autistic people for that matter) - people are people. I don't even know what you're trying to get at with your reference to 'controlled' to be honest. If you mean that autistic people spend their lives having to suppress their autistic traits to be able to progress/be taken seriously in the workplace, then you're correct but equally not everyone is able (or willing) to be 'controlled' in this way.

I'd be furious with your boss - he's very weak and he isn't going to deal with this appropriately. Going down the informal route is just not good enough.

Why didn't he stop him during the meeting for one thing?

@Yomuma don't let him shut you down or talk over you either.

Its a control thing. You are there to collaborate and contribute and if he is preventing that, you need to raise it as bullying with you LM and then with HR.

If you don't stand up to him, you will never be assertive and he will always treat you like you don't matter.

I'd take him on one side afterwards and tell him never to speak to me like that again. You're not going to get any managent support, but you've already made yourself look weak by apologising for his behavoir. They don't tend to apologise, but they do normally end up scared of you and try to avoid you which is the next best thing