Employees's personal tragedies affecting work

[Project2024]

I run a small business. This means every team member has significant responsibilities.

One of the employees has been having personal tragedy after tragedy this year. Since January when he had his first issue, he has struggled to perform. I have given him grace, extended deadlines, given more support and offered to pay for private counseling. The situation has not improved.
In July we had a frank conversation about him needing to pull his socks and try to work through his personal issues- he dwells on them and doesn't seem to be trying to find a way out.

Now things have gotten worse- his mother passed away last week and he has been off work since (as he should)- but I have piles and piles of outstanding work he has not completed that has now become urgent, and I cannot afford to hire an alternative resource. I know when he returns to work after his leave he is going to be in a worse state that we need to manage compassionately.
But how do I balance the empathy and ensuring the business needs are met?

In the UK you would be on dicey ground re: changes to caring responsibilities. The only thing you can do is follow your employee policies to the letter. If you have been generous to this point then that is great, it will mean you have taken all reasonable action to support him to be in work to date. But now is the time to put this into a formal process. Again, normally in the UK we would probably explore encouraging the individual to take extended time off sick (paid or unpaid depending on the policy and previous sick leave counts within a set amount of time). And encourage them to speak to their health care professionals about what additional support they may need outside of work.

This is tough, but as a leader you have to do what is right. And sometimes being clear and boundaried is better than letting things drift.

What you should absolutely not do is go from hugely supportive to PIP or disciplinary without giving rhw individual chance to improve and checking in on health concerns first. Morally it isn't great but you could also leave yourself open to tribunal further down the line.

Also @Project2024 to add, if he is refusing to use your employee assistance programme, you can suggest an occupational health assessment and a GP fit note (or equivalent in the country you are in) to get a definitive answer on what he is capable of doing. As a small business it is critical you get some good legal and HR advice to navigate this though. It may be a temporary adjustment to duties and potentially a commensurate reduction in pay is needed.

maybe consider in your mind what he can do.

Is he okay if he does half days? does the work he has been given get done okay?

Or does nothing really get done that he is given?

As the first is easier to manage - suggest he goes part time, and give him tasks he can achieve. Thus freeing up money for another temp person to do rest of his role.

the second - well suggest he gets signed off sick (so unpaid by you) so he can get himself sorted and you pay a temp for a few months.

Could you offer a sabbatical to enable him to have the chance to reset? It would mean him being unpaid but he'd have his job held open while he sorts himself out.

It's all very well people saying you lack compassion and should give him as much paid leave as he needs AND pay a temp so as not to burden the other employees but many people don't seem to realise how tightly small businesses need to be run. If there aren't the funds, there aren't the funds. Where are you supposed to find all this extra money especially when the situation has already meant a dive in productivity and profits? If the business goes under he won't have a job anyway, and neither will anyone else!

There are often threads on mumsnet where posters are burdened with extra workload because someone is off sick or on long term leave and the employer always get criticised for "weak management". Yet here we have an employer actively considering how to best manage and being told to be compassionate and effectively do nothing.

I work for a large global law firm and when your paid leave is exhausted, that's that, no matter what you are going through.

Oh my god the poor guy. Of course he isn't performing! So hard for small businesses, I know I have two and one is about to die. But you really have to help him as much as you can instead of seeing him as a dead weight

It sounds like you have been more than generous already OP. I too would urge you to get HR or legal advice specific to the country that you are in (and I say that as an HR Manager, also outside the UK).

You need to hire in a junior member of staff or a temp, you say that you can’t afford to but honestly I think that you need to find the money, if your business is profitable then you can. Either that or share workload out with others in team. You can’t expect this person to perform if he had come back to everything just as he left it.

Look at the priority of what is outstanding work wise and dish it out. Takes the pressure of you and your employee. What can you do personally?

People are made up of complex emotions, counselling isn’t a magic bullet. He must be juggling a lot. Give him his five days compassionate leave, offer his remaining sick pay days to tack on, offer him to take annual leave. If he can afford it offer him unpaid time off. Put in place a return to work structure, don’t just expect him to return to work ready to start up exactly where he left off - that’s not good team work nor good leadership.

The rest of your employees will be taking note of your behaviour.

@Project2024

well, they're not small issues he's had are they?!

with all the drip dripping it sounds like you've given him some time off & tried to get him to 'do better' when he is there, but zi can fully understand why he's struggling to do that.

He has been a good employee for a couple of years before this

I've had a small business, I understand the need for all team members to 'pull their weight' & how much it costs when they don't.

personally, if he was a good team member before this year, I'd be trying hard to make it work. Talk to him about coming back part time, but trying to really focus when he is in, talk to the team & see what they can pick up. Wear the cost of additional temp help if that's possible. Do more myself (if I could).

You say you're 'running a business, not a charity' That's true, but you have a) his future in your hands b) a good employee it's probably beneficial to keep!

do really it's either win/win or lose/lose.

This is not necessarily true. They may meet equality act definitions of disability.

Where is your compassion.
5 days to grieve of loss..how generous.
Hire a temp, sort out your business and give the guy a break.
Like who would ask for this in there life!
Shit happens.

As you mentioned “UK definition”, I checked the Gov.uk definition which is: A mental health condition is considered a disability if it has a long-term effect on your normal day-to-day activity.

We know he’s stressed, we know he’s had time off due to his circumstances and that he’s been impacted for 8 months at least, with continuous issues. What makes you so sure he’s “nowhere near” this threshold?

I have management experience with this and have seen first hand someone who was considered disabled over their equally tragic personal circumstances. They later were diagnosed with several long term
conditions after initially complaining about stress. It’s naive to think the level of displacement OP mentions couldn’t cause long term mental health conditions.

all of that is irrelevant though as OP isn’t based in the UK.

I am part of the MT and as it being a bigger organization, we have had several employees with different personal issues, such as berievements etc. My experience is that it takes time, it has been the 8 months since the first personal issues, but you tell us that in the meantime he had to deal with several issues, so he is being knocked on the head by life repeatedly. You cannot compare his position re work with yours, as you are the owner of the company, your personal interests are with keeping the company going, while his are with his daughter and family. That is natural. For this type of matters, you do need to hire a temp. Inability to do so is risk of an employer. Are there in your country government backed doctor's, such as in the Netherlands, who can assess him and provide guidelines and guidance on how to get him back to work properly, as it seems that he might be mentally unfit to return fully to work. In my experience it sometimes is a very long process but it does work as employees have the opportunity to get back in the work process step by step towards their old level.

Well you should be hiring someone to replace him as he goes off on sick leave. Or finding suitable cover. Being off doesn't mean you let the work pile up all for him on return. No wonder he can't catch up! Your expecting him to do the job of 2 people on return then aren't you which isn't feasible. So show abit more compassion- either divvy up his work for the team if they can handle abit more for an incentive or hire a temp/ contractor.

Supporting a good and experienced employee to get back to the performance level you need is likely to be easier and cheaper than getting rid of him and having to hire and train a replacement.

Once he is back from compassionate leave, I would have an honest conversation. That it’s completely understandable that he’s not been at his best but you need to work together to get him back to where you need him to be for say the end of the year.

This doesn’t have to be a disciplinary but you can set expectations. It might be that you hire a temp for a month to clear the backlog but then he needs to be on top of the work going forward. It might be that he needs to use the counselling service. It might be that he takes some extended unpaid time off but you keep his job open for when he’s ready to come back.

I would wait a few weeks and if his work continues to suffer you could say if he needs to take extra leave or go on reduced hours you will hire a temp in the meantime and keep his job open (ie he would be paid for the hours he works) but that going forward you would like him to take you up on the offer of counselling - it is crucial to his health and also to his work.

My partners colleague had a bereavement 6 months ago and HR gave her about 2 months leave and then reduced her hours - they decided she is too fragile to do the main parts of her job but didn’t arrange cover so my partner and his colleague work unpaid every weekend and evening. It’s gotten to the point where my partner went to the GP about stress (GP’s advice was to change jobs). My partner is not annoyed with the colleague (though does agree she should pull up her socks at this stage) but is massively unhappy with management and HR for not hiring cover when giving her time off.

I think your employee will need more time than a week for a major bereavement and putting him on a PIP at this time will likely lead to huge upset given that he will already be traumatised. I would frame it if he needs to extra unpaid leave or reduced hours for a few months you would hire a temp so he would have the option to return to full time when ready. Do push the counselling too, he will likely need it!

In the circumstances, you want the previous high performing person back. To be honest, I don’t think that would ever happen, too much has happened to him for him to be back to normal.

I suggest a sabbatical as that would give him time, it’s usually unpaid so you could use the money to hire a temporary position, and then towards the end of the term of the break, you could see if he wants to return, and if so then manage it as a phased return but with very clear goals and measurable targets.

Do you have HR support?

They'll be best placed to give advice

The OP is quite generous compared to a lot of employers

And if 'shit happening' results in the loss of her business then it's going to affect more than one employee

She has to balance compassion with practicality

Many of the people on here are not people running businesses.

You have to do what is best for you and your livelihood. If that is putting him on to sick pay from the Gov, and you hire someone else temporary, that is what you must do.

Absolutely true!

Being self employed with a small business is bloody hard work.

OP probably hasn't endless money to pay for someone's 'long term sick' which could go on for months.

It could bankrupt her.

The other employees also resent it when someone else goes off sick for a long time - Chances are he may leave anyway after having had the months on full sick pay.

It's a tough job running your own business, having employees is a nightmare at times. I'd suggest they work part-time and see how that goes, it must be very stressful for you. Dh and I have dealt with many extreme personal life stresses and as business owners have just had to work through them - all very well saying you should have contingency in place but it only goes so far. Remember to take care of your own health too.

The Government don't pay sick pay, employers do.

YABU for posting so much personal identifying info about employee on Internet, for the world to see

This is terribly sad, OP. I feel so dreadful for your employee...especially as I suspect he will get sacked soon. We can try, but it is impossible to know exactly how heavy another person's burdens are...or how having so many terrible things happen in quick succession can deplete any inner strength they had.

Are there any charities in your country that offer specific support to bereaved parents/children, or any helplines that provide advice on childcare? If he's suddenly become a full time parent, your employee may be struggling with where to start with the practicalities. There are also an enormous number of pain in the arse beurocratic nightmares to navigate when one's parent dies (at least I found this to be the case in England). So if you can find an organisation able to give specific advice, that may be helpful. My small employer did something similar on my behalf - he contacted a cancer charity on my behalf, told them what I was facing with my child and arranged for them to call me. They told me what financial support was available and filled in the claim form on my behalf. It's a small thing, but it made a real difference.

I don't think a disciplinary is the right approach right now, especially as, presumably, this could cause difficulties for him getting another job? I think you need to get a temp in to manage the existing workload. I appreciate that's another cost, but it is something you really need to factor in moving forward. It's not right to save up a sick employee's work and dump it all on them when they return. You may feel the need to work like that as a business owner, but it's not the best way to manage your staff.

I can guarantee he is already worried he'll be fired. I would have another conversation with him, when appropriate, about business needs and, realistically, what his capacity for work is right now, and what he feels may happen over the next 6 months. Then see how you can make things work together. Could it become a part-time / job share role? Is it a role that requires specific technical knowledge or skills? If so, could some of the more mundane/time consuming admin be outsourced or done by a lower paid administrator? Or, at the very least, offer unpaid leave?

OP - I agree with those who say you display a lack of compassion and it is entirely unacceptable to post details of his personal circumstances online. You have in fact probably made the situation worse for yourself and your business if you do decide to take formal action. Perhaps if you consider him as a human first and foremost and an employee second you will know what the right thing to do is. Your business may be important but it is not as important as a series of personal tragedies.

Jeez this poor guy. Do you have an EAP or any other support for your employees? Can he get private help if not? Sounds like he needs psychological support. I think he will have to be on unpaid leave and you will have to get a temp him. If you can find a way to keep him on, that could be a tremendous support - or, depending on where you are, he may be hoping you will fire him so he can claim benefits.