Employees's personal tragedies affecting work

[Project2024]

I run a small business. This means every team member has significant responsibilities.

One of the employees has been having personal tragedy after tragedy this year. Since January when he had his first issue, he has struggled to perform. I have given him grace, extended deadlines, given more support and offered to pay for private counseling. The situation has not improved.
In July we had a frank conversation about him needing to pull his socks and try to work through his personal issues- he dwells on them and doesn't seem to be trying to find a way out.

Now things have gotten worse- his mother passed away last week and he has been off work since (as he should)- but I have piles and piles of outstanding work he has not completed that has now become urgent, and I cannot afford to hire an alternative resource. I know when he returns to work after his leave he is going to be in a worse state that we need to manage compassionately.
But how do I balance the empathy and ensuring the business needs are met?

OP, I feel you may be best to seek advice from business organisations and your own mentors rather than random people here.
You need to know the full legal position as yes, you have a duty of care to your employees (ALL of them) and this poor man's circumstances are affecting them all, and your business. You need to know what your legal obligations are as an employer.
Your moral obligations are for you to determine.

i agree, you need to put this in legal

So all the people who are virtue signalling like mad would be happy to put in unpaid overtime to cover for this chap? Or take a salary cut so that OP can hire a replacement temp?

There isn’t much fat in small businesses. Many are operating close to the edge. The OP has their other employees to take into consideration, as well.

Im not sure that losing his job would necessarily be the final straw, he might be better off for a while pas an unemployed person, supported financially by the State and able to sort out his very complicated life without the distraction of work.

Unfortunately in recent years people have been conditioned to not be resilient and to wallow in misery and self pity.

The spirit of the first and Second World War where people had to keep going managed to last until around the 70s and be passed to us born in the 60s and 70s but since then people just can't cope with tragedies and life's upsets.

You've been more than reasonable in supporting this chap but you're not a large conglomerate that can afford to hire a temp to cover his work, you need to have a talk with him about the impact of his not being able to do the work has on YOUR business and that it can't continue like this going forward

Maybe he will want to leave and have time off to get his act together and you can say that you would consider him in the future if he is able to return to the same productivity he has originally.

There's only so much patting in the head and saying 'there, there' before your business goes under.

Most employers who actually value their employees would not be so callous as to expect their staff to only take 1 day’s paid leave if their mother had just died!

If this was my work the person would be subjected to the disciplinary process for this much time off. No matter what the reason. In fact one of my colleagues recently found their dad after he had killed himself. She took a week off, unpaid. on top of time off for her small child being sick on and off-she's a single mum with no help. Her Bradford score was deemed too high so disciplinary it was.

It's for this reason that I and several other people have handed in their notice as we can no longer work somewhere where we are treated with no compassion or kindness at all.

Wow, these are huge and the issue with the child/grandparents clearly is long term and ongoing.

I think you sound really heartless. A week off in July was never going to solve everything.

It's not his fault that the business can't afford cover - that's your issue.

Honestly I think if he is clearly a capable worker I’d let it slide for another month or two that is some serious shit. I can imagine it is very difficult as a manager though.

I’ve a friend who has had some really serious stuff in her life that has massively affected her work and her boss recently promoted her because he can see in the long term she is an excellent performer way overqualified for the role she has. In her case though when she has been in she has performed I’m not sure how it would be if she wasn’t performing when actually present.

These things are not cut and dried and keeping an eye out on the bigger picture is worth while. If he is likely to get back to his earlier performance I’d give him a small bit more leeway.

I think you need to separate the issues into short and longer term.

Short term you have a pile of work that needs doing. Hire a temp or a freelancer to deal with that. I'm assuming he won't get much paid compassionate leave so either get him moved onto sick pay or allow him as much unpaid leave as he needs. That solves your short term problems.

When he returns to work - in his own time - you unfortunately need to either formalise the PIP or look at a more creative solution, for example can he job share?

You need to get country specific legal advice.

In the U.K. for example, employees are entitled to parental leave.

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

So one option you could offer is unpaid parental leave which would then allow you to pay a temp.

Also, if he has been in a car accident and suffered minor injuries, (but you say these affected his mobility? Or do you mean not having his car affected his mobility?) then if he is attending medical appointments etc there will be legal responsibilities there.

Either way I personally would not be starting a disciplinary process until I was sure of my legal ground.

Personally I would prioritise the work. What needs doing and by when. How urgent is it. Can any be moved to
Other members of staff and some of their workload dropped or pushed back.

Then speak to him. Offer options to
Support him - if the work is largely computer based can it be done at home? Try to work alongside him to offer support so that the work gets done (as much as possible) and he is ok. There are some standard suggestions for these sorts of
Situations - if you have occupational health services or can buy them in they may be helpful.

It's so hard having employees in a small business that are integral to the running of everything.

I've just had to let one go after two years for poor performance and it getting worse even though I paid alot of sick pay out and lateness etc

The employee had nearly ten weeks leave last year and it did really affect the way I was running my business.

The issues my employee had were nowhere near as horrendous as yours mind you but all the same it affected the running.

After them being off again for nearly three weeks with hardly any communication and total lack of appreciation for the pay they were still receiving I'd had enough so I did a small restructure and them made their position redundant.

I gave them 8 weeks notice which is way more than the rules state but I wanted to know that I had done everything well.

They left after three after finding another job and I still paid the redundancy fee etc but the weight that had been lifted was immense.

Yes I'm busier than I was however it's unreal how my stress levels have dropped.

Would that be an eventual option for you op?

If the benefits system would support him in your country could you suggest that he drops down to part time and you employ an assistant. Longer term that will give him the time to support his daughter and give you the flexibility to employ someone else.

Jesus. That poor man. Nothing useful to advise as an employer, but his life has been hard. Losing his job now would put the icing on the cake. I hope you can both find a satisfactory outcome.

In July we had a frank conversation about him needing to pull his socks and try to work through his personal issues- he dwells on them and doesn't seem to be trying to find a way out.

It doesn’t sound like this approach has worked.

💯

Part of running a business means anticipating and having contingencies in place for employees that are not able to perform at 100%. I have managed staff for a long time and there are many reasons why someone might not be able to meet all targets, but you cannot always deal with this through a disciplinary process. The next time it might be a pregnant employee or someone who has been diagnosed with a condition - what will you do then? You won't be able to continue this tough shit approach, it's not appropriate in all situations and it's not appropriate here.

As a business owner you need to have funds available to either pay for temps, offer a lower-paid member of staff a temporary promotion, or ask someone to work overtime. If the answer to this is that there is no spare money at all to do this, then your business is not viable, because sooner or later you will incur this type of additional staffing cost - it's part and parcel of employing a team. If the answer is that the money is there but you don't want to spend it, then I am afraid you have misunderstood what being an employer means and before long you will end up with legal action against you.

I don’t own my own business but I’d advise a period of sick leave after all that has happened. It is a lot. You could get a temp to keep on top of the work. Did he get decent parental leave when he unexpectedly ended up with sole custody of his child? Parents usually have at least sixth months to prepare and organise for juggling work and child care etc.

All I can say is I am glad I don't work for you. And to another poster's point asking if I would do unpaid overtime to cover a colleague going through this, the answer is yes. None of us know what life is going to throw at us. I would do everything in my power to get someone through this tough time. OP it might be you next and I hope you are also treated with respect and compassion if you were ever to fall on such hard times. He was a good employee and he will be again in time. We are humans not robots.

As you're a small business I'm guessing you don't have any kind of Employee Assistance Programme. But could you see your way to helping him get some counselling? I've been through something similar to what this chap has, albeit over a longer period of time, and having someone to talk to via my EAP was really helpful.

This is exactly what I was thinking. The poor guy needs support on an ongoing basis or he'll never be able to turn his work performance around.

Have you involved an occupational health service?

Jesus...give the guy a break. You need to take on a temp and allow him to go part time for a short period. He should be off sick with long term stress actually

Honestly you sound like a poor employer. This sort of thing ends up at tribunals.

firstly seek proper advice relevant to your own country

You seem to be forcing him to get back to work without realising he’s likely considered a disabled person. I’m shocked I haven’t heard you mention occupational health once. He doesn’t sound capable enough to work but it’s not an immediate route to dismissal.

Perhaps continue to 'invest' in his wellbeing, he likely will come back stronger and work harder out of respect for your support, and it shows everyone else that you're a worthy person to work for.

Like others have said, get a temp or perhaps he can work from home? Could be easier for him to compete work without being worried about how he looks etc

That poor man. It seems to be one thing after another for him.