Only 2 days in but family struggling

[Overwhelmed124]

I got a job with Asda and started Monday. The induction was awful and felt like a spare part. Second shift today and I just dont want to go in.
My husband is having some issues with mental health at the moment and laying guilt on me for leaving him to go to work. And my youngest is not happy as will have to let himself in after school and I wont be back until nearly 7, so tea will be late.
Dont know what to do. We need the money but Im working 4 days and 23 hours.
Is it worth seeing if I can reduce hours/work longer shifts or just leave it?
Im also finding the job overwhelming as so much to learn.

That’s good, I’m glad your second day was better. Keep going!

Whats your husband’s treatment plan for his stress? Is he doing what the doctor has recommended?

Well done to keep going at work, it will be difficult after a long time as SAHM.

I remember volunteering after a period of anxiety/depression when I barely left the house, I just kept telling myself to turn up and breathe when it felt over

You’re doing great. Give it time. It might also help your husband to have to focus on doing more at home and supporting you.

Aah... accidentally hit post.

... when it felt overwhelming. It does get better.

Don't worry too much about your husband at the moment, just get settled in your work. Tackle one thing at a time.

You DH and DS should both be making the evening meal together so it is ready when you get in. You need to be concentrating on your new job and not worrying about them and making the evening meal when you get home.

If your husband is just sleeping and watching TV all day, he can't really complain that you aren't around to wait on him. It would probably be good for him to do begin to do useful stuff around the house.

Well done OP.
You've absolutely got this.

By the end of the month you'll all be settled into a new routine. Going out to work just means you have to plan ahead a bit and share out the domestic load.
Just think of the money you're earning every day.

Congratulations on the new job

Congratulations on the new job OP. Any new job is overwhelming, just give yourself time to find your feet, in no time you'll be a pro. It sounds like things are already improving, all the best!

Well done, your DH is home all day and your DC is 14, they can moan all they like, they do not need you running after them.

Absolutely this x

So glad to hear you're already feeling better about it, and it's brilliant that you came home to a cooked meal too!

Cereal milk as their evening meal? And why do they need to tell their dad to make their supper ? 😯

If DH is not working ATM surely he's home when D's gets in from school and could make their tea. It would be nice to or you to have a hot meal cooked for you to come home to. Don't let them stop you working. A 14 year old is perfectly capable of getting himself some toast and eating fruit if he's hungry. They are both acting like babies.

And why do they need to tell their dad to make their supper ? 😯

That poster is, as I understand, talking about their own 4yo, not OPs 14yo. Still an appropriate age to ask a parent to cook.

I think maybe the poster is baffled at the idea that the child's father needs asking to put dinner on!

It takes a good 6 weeks or so to get settled in a new job, and not just you doing the actual job but the family also making the adjustments themselves as well to the new way of life.

If DH isn't working, he can do more at home and being productive at home might help him get well.

Keep going OP, you're doing great.

I think she did quit the job. Every excuse in the world not to work.

What? No she didn't...there's an update from OP on this page. The comment of mine that you quoted is not about OP.

Give it time. It will feel weird for a while, a lot to learn, if DH isn’t working at the moment then he can support your child. At 14 he can fix himself a snack and do homework till you come home. DH can get tea started if he is home. It will be worth it once you are all in a new routine. My 12yr old will be coming home to an empty house occassionally until his sibling or his dad gets back, he will be fine.

I’ve realised that EVERYONE feels this way when starting a new job and it’s not a personal failing and sign to give up. You’re out of your comfort zone and therefore feel uncomfortable. You’ll get there!

Ooh I missed the update. Excellent news OP!! Well done. Both for sticking to it and tell your dh to bugger off. This will be one of your best decisions made, I am sure. Now just teach your son to cook!

Excellent news. Is DH seeking support with his MH?

It sounds like they are both leaning on you very heavily... your son is old enough to be able to make himself a simple dinner (or warm up some leftovers)
Your husband should not be making you feel guilty for going to work. Make it clear that you're still there to support him but that you need to go and do this for yourself and for the extra income.

And don't be daunted a couple of days into a job. It's always the way at the beginning but I'm sure you will settle in

Well done on getting the job! It is early days and you are bound to feel overwhelmed. They won't expect you to pick up everything right away. If something doesn't make sense, or you are uncertain, just ask. Give yourself some time to get settled and more confident. Hopefully you will meet some good colleagues and it will become more enjoyable. Try and switch off from your home life at work or you will feel torn in two and unable to focus. Can you give your son a quick call on your break? Is he set up with snacks, homework instructions etc? I know everyone is saying he is 14, but you know your son and what he needs.

My mind is boggled by the 4 year old running catering arrangements. "Father, heat that up!" "Mother, dice that!"