Only 2 days in but family struggling

[Overwhelmed124]

I got a job with Asda and started Monday. The induction was awful and felt like a spare part. Second shift today and I just dont want to go in.
My husband is having some issues with mental health at the moment and laying guilt on me for leaving him to go to work. And my youngest is not happy as will have to let himself in after school and I wont be back until nearly 7, so tea will be late.
Dont know what to do. We need the money but Im working 4 days and 23 hours.
Is it worth seeing if I can reduce hours/work longer shifts or just leave it?
Im also finding the job overwhelming as so much to learn.

Only you can make this decision, can you afford to be unemployed to support your husbands mental health and cook your kids tea?

Your husband doesn’t work. He does not want to make dinner. Your 14-year old doesn’t want to make dinner. He doesn’t want to wait until 7pm to eat. You don’t want to work. You think it’s reasonable to be a stay at home mum for your husband and 14-year old.

Who do you all think should support you?

I used to be such a strong person, but years a sahm has squashed that.

Time to get out of the house. It’s so shitty of your husband to not encourage you, but instead think you should keep staying at home.

Your family aren't struggling - they're just miffed that their routine has changed. They'll be fine.

You're struggling because you're used to being excellent at what you do because you've done it for ages, and now you're doing something new - this is totally normal and everyone feels the same when they start a new job. You'll learn and eventually be excellent at your job.

Stick at it. Think about what your first pay is going to get you, even if it's just less worrying about bills.

Stick with it, they're being like this because they've lost their "house slave" It's time for them to step up. A 14 year old is not a toddler, he's perfectly capable of feeding himself if hungry. The slow cooker idea upthread is excellent.

Well done you for getting the job in the first place

As your DH is laying guilt on you for you working what will he do about the money you earn.

Keep going with it OP you'll be so pleased you did and you'll feel relieved when it helps financially.
14 year old can make a simple meal.

You say your 14-year old is your youngest, if he is not capable of cooking something, or his father, perhaps the older one/s can cook? Or are non of them capable?

I actually worry over a 14-year old who thinks letting himself in after school is something to complain or even think about. That’s not good OP.

My husband is having some issues with mental health at the moment and laying guilt on me for leaving him to go to work. And my youngest is not happy as will have to let himself in after school and I wont be back until nearly 7, so tea will be late.

I would be going in for these reasons.

You are your own person who has her own life too.

Its incredibly difficult being a working mum because you are still expected to carry the weight of everything you’d normally do as a SAHP on top.

I am very sensitive to your DH’s MH issues but he cannot stop being a parent.
He will need to put tea on for your child.

Starting a new job is awful but give it 3 weeks and then see how you feel.

You really don't want to work do you?
Don't be a fool.
Stick to the job.
You're lucky you have one.
Don't ask for adjustments they'll think badly of you.

Your husband sounds useless - what does he need you home for? To wash his bum?

How old is the youngest child?
Can't the older children make dinner?

14!
Your kid's like his dad.
Don't encourage these people - you're not doing them any favours.

Can't help but feel that husband wouldn't be off sick with stress if he wasn't getting paid. And we wonder why this country is in a mess! When did we all become so weak? I'm self employed, pressure is 100% but I've only been off sick once in 10 years and that was for 2 weeks - I nearly bloody died. No pay when you're self employed so you can't simply not work. Husband should be focusing on getting well as quick as possible so the pressure isn't all on you.

Your 14 year old can make his own bloody tea. My youngest is 11 and can make herself a meal!
Please don’t give up on this opportunity. It will get less awkward as you go. You will get to know some people and I’m sure you’ll quickly now what to do.

If you quit because your husband and teenage son thinks so you are using it as an excuse not to work, because you don’t want to.

All jobs are difficult in the beginning, it’s called working.

Time to get a bit more resilient I’m afraid. Huge numbers of people across the country juggle much more difficult circumstances and manage fine. I work a full-time high pressured job, so does my husband, and we have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. No complaining here. We get on with it to provide for our family. You need to do the same and if your husband and son don’t like it then I’m afraid it’s tough shit.

This. Four 6 hr days between two adults with only one nearly grown child. It’s very doable.
You have the whole morning and three full days a week. Even when DH goes back to work.
What did you do all day before?

You need the job, honestly. With this husband you have ,....imagine what will happen to the house finances and yours also if he just plain refuses to work and you have nothing

Your husband and teenage son are sitting at home, waiting for you to come back from work so you can cook and clean? They should have dinner ready for you.

Listen, it's normal to feel like this, give it a few weeks and see how you feel x

You can do this, you really can! Any job is going to be hard while you get the hang of it. I've got a new contact and they keep using acronyms that I don't know but I'm making a list, and I can't find anything in the filing system, but I will.

Son will adapt and learn new skills

All the above! And don't stress yourself by rushing home for 7pm. Your supper should be waiting for you when you get in.

Your DH and DC should have tea ready for you! I hope the job becomes a bit more enjoyable x

Both able to do their own food. Has your 14 year old ever cooked or done chores?

Really shit that a grown man and a 14 year old are making you feel shit about going to work and earning money!
My 14 year old is a nightmare in many ways but even he could cook himself some dinner!
What's wrong with your husband? Fair enough he's off with stress but can he honestly not get off his backside and help a little?

Wow wasnt expecting so many replies. Yesterday was better, Im finding my feet and came hope to cooked tea.
I think a lot of the issue is that I am putting pressure on myself to make sure everybody is ok. My husband had a bad day though but I told him off last night and said he needs to try to do more in the day except sleeping and watching tv.
Only time will tell
Still so bloody nervous at work though. Its so much to learn.