Should I report this to HR or get over myself?

[Indu29]

Hi Mumsnetters!
An incident happened at work where I'm no longer able to relax, or feel like myself. If I am being honest, I'm left feeling traumatized and scarred.
I had a friend at work, lets call her Jane who was unhappy at her department. Because I noticed that and wanted to help, I asked Jane to move to the department I'm working in and replace me, as I was going on maternity leave. I recommended her to my manager, helped her fill out the application form and she got the role.
Once she started working in my team, I trained her and we shared a close bond with each other. Just before I went on maternity, she organised a farewell gathering for me. Jane was also made permeant within my team.
However during my leave, Jane was struggling in my team as another coworker was not pulling her weight in and my manager (Sarah) got promoted, and hired another manager to replace her (let's call this new manager John).
Now Jane hated john as she felt he was incompetent. Sarah asked Jane to train John, which she hated. Jane spread rumours about John, saying he was inefficient and when Jane had problems about John's work, she complained straight to Sarah instead of dealing with John directly. Sarah eventually had enough of this as Jane kept on complaining for months and asked Jane to move departments if she is struggling with john.
I recently came back to work from maternity and one of the first things I noticed is that Jane is not doing as much work. Which I thought fine, she can do whatever and I will focus on my job.
Last week, Sarah called me about a minor question regarding my work but I was not available to pick up. So Sarah called Jane instead, hoping she can assist her.
As a result of this, in our group chat, Jane messaged @Lara do this task and contact X and you have written this draft wrong.
Jane then privatley messaged me to say she cant take calls on my behalf as she has her own work load, this is challenging for her and requested me to keep on top of my work to ensure good communication and workflow.
Now obviously I'm left upset as she has exposed me on the group chat, the way she had written her message to me has left me feeling like a naughty child. I am also worried that Jane might fixate on me, in order to find faults like she did with John.
What would you do if you were me?

Sorry, I don't understand how that's traumatising or scarring? There's nothing there that I would be taking to HR, what would you expect them to do?

Traumatised and scarred?!

Well how do I know shes not going to fixate on me? And start undermining my work ethic in front of the whole team?

I think you missed out the traumatising and scarring bit?

I do suffer from high anxiety, which may explain why I'm over thinking things. Plus I recently came back from maternity, so this incident has made me feel like I'm not good enough

Well maybe traumatized is a tad dramatic. But I do feel like I'm on edge

You’re presuming she’s going to start something but you’re panicking!

Personally I would let it go. No one will think anything of you and will think she’s being unprofessional.

If anything happens in the future then speak to your manager but don’t start worrying now!

Well how do I know shes not going to fixate on me? And start undermining my work ethic in front of the whole team?

but she hasn’t done any of those things? If you spend your life worrying about things someone hasn’t done but might do then you’re going to be permanently on edge.
one of your co-workers might murder you.
or turn into a stalker.
or report you falsely to the police
or send you a strip-a-gram to work every day for a week.

but you would be foolish to be worrying about it just in case.

I would respond on the group chat saying thanks. I wasn't available so they contacted you instead. In future if you feel you are unable to answer questions about my work you should say so and I'll deal with it when I am available.
Keep it light but I'd make sure that everyone knows someone else, not you, asked her to do it.

Traumatised and scarred? Really?

You must have led a sheltered life.

You're overthinking it, I wouldn't worry.

It doesn't sound like Jane did herself any favours with Sarah before anyway.

If shes done it to John, my line manager how do I know she wont do it to me?

“Hi Jane, sorry, I didn’t realise Sarah was going to contact you about this. I will pick up with her.”

there really is no need to overreact saying you feel traumatised and running off the HR. Jane seems overwhelmed, insecure, and busy. Given you’ve only just come back I reckon she is still copping a lot of the stuff that should fall to you and it’s stressing her out. The way she spoke to you isn’t ideal but really - why complain about something she might do in the future?

So how do I let this go? Its eating me up, affecting my work and home life. I think what hurts the most is that me and Jane were close friends before this

What are you going to complain to HR about and what do you expect them to do?

If this is genuinely the case, you need to get psychiatric help.

You weren’t there when she did it to John so it’s all hearsay. The manager also was fed up of it all and moved Jane. If she starts on you and starts complaining then the manager will believe that Jane is the issue with the constant moaning.

I think you’re worrying and stressed at the moment after returning from mat leave. Try forget it about it for now and wait and see what happens.

Yes I think I need help letting it go. I just worry if Jane will start nit picking my work and whether she might undermine me in front of the whole team again

You take this as an opportunity to work with Jane to clarify your respective roles and responsibilities and how you will work together, and confirm it in writing. If there is any disagreement that you cannot resolve after working it through with Jane then you speak to your line manager and ask for their steer.

There is nothing to report to HR at this point!

OP, are you struggling more generally with your return to work? Because your reaction to this seems quite out of proportion to what actually happened. Can you talk to your GP about your anxiety levels maybe?

Jane sounds like a shit stirrer, distance yourself from her and things will get better.

@Indu29 if Jane didn’t get on with John but Sarah has moved Jane then Jane is probably
feeling insecure. Why don’t you talk to her and ask her if she’s doing ok? She probably has no axe to grind with you.

Maybe I am struggling with working full time after being away on maternity for almost a year. It's a huge change, I am.still adjusting and something like this happens. From my "friend". Some friend

Looks like you were wrong to recommend that Jane move teams. Jane sounds like a nasty troublemaker.

But that doesn't mean Jane will do anything to you! You might find it helpful to think of ways you might react if something happens, but I'd probably keep my head down and work hard.

@Indu29 what happened to John?