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Original poster

Help me I fancy my boss, did he initiate?

56 replies

Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 17:22

So annoyingly, this has happened. I love my newish job (10months) and wd usually ignore any of this nonsense. But the thought that HE pushed at the door has made symptoms worse, and I have trouble staying calm and not thinking about him .

On day 2 I remember him turning and double take and thinking 'uh-oh i dont want any troube' b/c i know that look iykwim. Took me out for a special training session, albeit with my lm present. Then he talked to me all evening at a social, rang me up very keen to say he wanted to take me to a certain site and saying how much certain clients will "fall in love" with me.
Fine at the next 2 socials as I wasn't near him but at the last one I was actually pleased to sit opposite him and I got the feeling he was trying to impress me. He didnt make eye contact when I greeted him recently.

Please talk sense in to me and feel free to hate on me as much as you want, we are both married w kids. I don't want to feel like this. But there's a part of me that does....it is flattering.
Am I imagining it?

OP posts:
DurhamDurham · 09/07/2024 21:55

But maybe I UNCONSCIOUSLY blame DH for our financial precarousness

Ah well, keep up with this nonsense and you'll be to blame too, when you have to leave/get the push.

Starrynights9 · 09/07/2024 21:58

It's not unusual to have a crush on a boss. The reality is there are bosses who use their ability to attract employees to get them to do their bidding, extra work etc. It works to their advantage if they think you fancy them although it's rarely reciprocal. Stop and think about the repercussions if this went further and you had an illicit affair. You would eventually lose your job. You would destroy your marriage. You would destroy his marriage. You would lose friends made within the workplace. You could destroy future references. Most of all you would lose your reputation. Is this enough to curtail your crush and get on with fixing your marriage.

Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 21:58

BirthdayRainbow · 09/07/2024 21:51

You're not confused. Just own it. You think Mr Big Powerful Boss fancies you and you're getting off on it.

Don't be a dick.

That’s it in a nutshell but all roads lead to he doesn’t, she just really wishes to think that. It’s a fantasy.

Edingril · 09/07/2024 22:06

Starrynights9 · 09/07/2024 21:58

It's not unusual to have a crush on a boss. The reality is there are bosses who use their ability to attract employees to get them to do their bidding, extra work etc. It works to their advantage if they think you fancy them although it's rarely reciprocal. Stop and think about the repercussions if this went further and you had an illicit affair. You would eventually lose your job. You would destroy your marriage. You would destroy his marriage. You would lose friends made within the workplace. You could destroy future references. Most of all you would lose your reputation. Is this enough to curtail your crush and get on with fixing your marriage.

So women are not responsible for their thoughts and actions? 'My boss made me fancy him'? Seriously?

Starrynights9 · 09/07/2024 22:43

Edingril · 09/07/2024 22:06

So women are not responsible for their thoughts and actions? 'My boss made me fancy him'? Seriously?

Show quote history

Of course women are responsible for. their thoughts and actions. This doesn't mean some men don't try to influence women's feelings for exploitative reasons. It's not necessarily the reason in OPs situation but it happens.

Roseyjane · 10/07/2024 11:42

Starrynights9 · 09/07/2024 22:43

Of course women are responsible for. their thoughts and actions. This doesn't mean some men don't try to influence women's feelings for exploitative reasons. It's not necessarily the reason in OPs situation but it happens.

Show quote history

Not necessarily? More like clearly not

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