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Original poster

Help me I fancy my boss, did he initiate?

56 replies

Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 17:22

So annoyingly, this has happened. I love my newish job (10months) and wd usually ignore any of this nonsense. But the thought that HE pushed at the door has made symptoms worse, and I have trouble staying calm and not thinking about him .

On day 2 I remember him turning and double take and thinking 'uh-oh i dont want any troube' b/c i know that look iykwim. Took me out for a special training session, albeit with my lm present. Then he talked to me all evening at a social, rang me up very keen to say he wanted to take me to a certain site and saying how much certain clients will "fall in love" with me.
Fine at the next 2 socials as I wasn't near him but at the last one I was actually pleased to sit opposite him and I got the feeling he was trying to impress me. He didnt make eye contact when I greeted him recently.

Please talk sense in to me and feel free to hate on me as much as you want, we are both married w kids. I don't want to feel like this. But there's a part of me that does....it is flattering.
Am I imagining it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 17:43

Nope not worth the risk I'll have a think about wtf may be going on with me. I'm feeling super appreciated at work and it may have inflated my ego, and also physically attractive for some reason (see thats the ego) ...just a bit under appreciated at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 17:45

@roseyjane yes good point I do and they're great, for codwalloping teens. My dog is nice though

OP posts:
Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 17:46

Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 17:43

Nope not worth the risk I'll have a think about wtf may be going on with me. I'm feeling super appreciated at work and it may have inflated my ego, and also physically attractive for some reason (see thats the ego) ...just a bit under appreciated at home.

Well I admire your honesty, but good lord you sound like a teenager, would the job be quite as exciting if you weren’t fantasising about running off with the boss. And does the fact the poor sod won’t even make eye contact you’ve been so obvious not stop you in your tracks?

NecessaryNC24 · 09/07/2024 17:48

Glad you're thinking sensibly OP.

CactusMactus · 09/07/2024 17:51

Go for it! YOLO!

GigiAnnna · 09/07/2024 17:54

I understand going through a dull part of your marriage. You're missing the thrill of flirting with a new guy and the excitement at the start of your relationship. Probably normal to a degree but just imagine what your life will be like with your marriage dissolved, whether it's worth the risk. You either work on your marriage or you leave. As if you start something with him your marriage will be over anyway. Crushes usually fade over time and you'll probably look back and be thankful you left it alone.

Sidebeforeself · 09/07/2024 17:55

I think it sounds like you WOULD act on it tbh

Iffx · 09/07/2024 17:59

Wind this forwards:

Picture yourself explaining this to your husband, children and extended family. Then picture yourself only living with your children part time.

all because a letchy man fancied an affair and you fell for the flattery and power 😥

daisychain01 · 09/07/2024 18:01

Your poor husband - what has he done to deserve you messing around in what could end up being an emotional affair if you aren't really careful and don't put a lid on it pdq.

just a bit under appreciated at home

Channel your emotional energy into fixing whatever is not quite right at home.

Username197 · 09/07/2024 18:03

Huh? In the nicest possible way there is absolutely nothing in his actions or behaviours that indicate he fancies you. This is your imagination.

Original poster
Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 18:14

Thank you all for your wise words I have an over active imagination and an under fulfilled life. Hopefully a holiday and an improved income (dh has finally landed a job) will help

OP posts:
MushMonster · 09/07/2024 18:30

This is beyond stupid OP.
What has he started?
He has been keen to show you sites, talk about customers and try to impress you? Or sell the company he works at, which one? Did he try to impress "you" by talking about the company? Because if so, he is ensuring you know your area/ customers (by taking you to sites), you know he approves of your CS style- give you a bit of confidence (by saying customer will love you) and try to make you value the company by the impressing bit.
Nothing you say he has done shows any romantic interest from his side.
This sounds one sided and if you are married and have children, you are crazy. Put your head back on!

UpUpUpU · 09/07/2024 18:41

You are thinking with your vagina OP. You need to back off and stop embarrassing yourself.

Even if he did want to bend you over the photocopier, it would be a TERRIBLE idea!

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 09/07/2024 18:53

Yes you’re imagining it and are going to make a fool of yourself

Debbiejv · 09/07/2024 19:07

Op I get it. But just rein it in, people will be noticing. If you love your job just quit thinking about all this. I’m sorry I agree with others none of that sounds like he fancies you. You said your relationship is boring so you know you are projecting.

Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 20:25

Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 18:14

Thank you all for your wise words I have an over active imagination and an under fulfilled life. Hopefully a holiday and an improved income (dh has finally landed a job) will help

Is that what it is, the boss is successful and your husband is not? So you are fantasising about being with someone like that?

Original poster
Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 20:35

@roseyjane it might be the power thing, or wanting to be seen as "good"/ aligned with the top dog (although I know these feelings are anything but'good', nevertheless tjey exoat). But maybe I UNCONSCIOUSLY blame DH for our financial precarousness.

OP posts:
MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 09/07/2024 20:46

You might think your colleagues haven't noticed
You would be wrong
It's happening where I work and it is so fucking cringe

Stop embarrassing yourself and focus on your marriage

crampyi · 09/07/2024 21:02

Okay first of all, my experience is like the opposite of yours. My boss fancied me and I didn’t. He tried to ruin my life when I rejected him. I just want to make you aware of how bad things can get, once your relationship with your own boss sours. Yes having sex would be great, but what is next? There will be a point where he chooses his career over you and your career will be fucked

Debbiejv · 09/07/2024 21:02

Even if he did fancy you is that flattering? The married boss? It’s not op!!

Debbiejv · 09/07/2024 21:03

@crampyi Agree. And the woman always comes out worse in these situations. Even if nothing happens you’ll come out worse op so quit while ahead!

Roseyjane · 09/07/2024 21:38

Allwelcone · 09/07/2024 20:35

@roseyjane it might be the power thing, or wanting to be seen as "good"/ aligned with the top dog (although I know these feelings are anything but'good', nevertheless tjey exoat). But maybe I UNCONSCIOUSLY blame DH for our financial precarousness.

Yeah but op, I get it, but you’ve went too far. The man won’t even make eye contact with you. You need to rein it in now. Of course your colleagues have noticed you try to flirt with the boss, and that he now is trying to avoid you. It’s really going to harm you in there, if you like the job you need to try to get control of yourself.

Edingril · 09/07/2024 21:50

If you can't be mature enough to stop get a new job, acting 12 is not going to help nor not taking responsibility for yourself this 'I am a little women with no brains' is weird

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 09/07/2024 21:51

You’re married and you’re on the internet speaking about another man. I’m sure you can tell that whatever this could be, is wildly inappropriate

BirthdayRainbow · 09/07/2024 21:51

You're not confused. Just own it. You think Mr Big Powerful Boss fancies you and you're getting off on it.

Don't be a dick.

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