Colleague keeps calling me fat!

[Iwonderwhywhat]

Hi- name change for this post. I manage a team of people and one person who I manage makes lots of comments about weight in general. However, each and every week she makes at least four-five digs at me, about my weight!

I’m not particularly paranoid about my weight (5ft8 and size 20) because I know I have gained over the years and I’m working on it. I work full-time and am a single mum to a child with special needs- I’m really just keeping my head above water.

At work, I’m well-respected and am known for being calm and in control. This colleague makes comments like these two little nuggets yesterday:

• Music plays so I “grapevine” randomly to filing cabinet (used to be a fitness instructor teaching aerobics). She says, “You could do with that exercise…”
• Commenting on how tall someone is I say that yes, they’re about two inches taller than me and hold my hand up to show their height. She then tells me that I don’t look tall because they are lean and I am spherical!

In all seriousness, it’s getting me down and it’s humiliating as it is always in front of others.

At the moment, I just say “ouch” and walk off, not in an aggressive way but just calmly. Should I actually take this further?

Once again, OP is her manager and in a position of power over her, so should not insult her.

Keep it professional, OP. There's some seriously bad "advice" on this thread, none of which will keep you your job if you follow it.

“we don't make fat jokes at work anymore Susan, it's not 1980." Hard stare with raised eyebrows.

You shouldn't feel embarrassed, you have done nothing wrong, she is the one who should be embarrassed for being so nasty, rude and unprofessional! If she was doing this to another colleague instead of you, you wouldn't hesitate to step in and discipline her, would you? You deserve the same respect and consideration. I would put it in writing so you've got a record of it.

I think this thread trended, hence some comments.

She will resign claim age discrimination, sue the company for god knows how much possibly put it out of buisness depending on its size and without even a shadow of a doubt OP will lose her job.

She needs to handle the situation in a proffesional way, returning bullying with bullying is a terrible standard to set.

Other people have heard these bullying behaviours from the employee. If she does everything right even if this bully resigns and claims age discrimination, they can simply present statements from multiple staff who heard the bullying taking place.

Makes sense, but goddess, it is tedious!

If you are her manager, ask yourself how you would deal with the situation if she were treating one of your other reports this way. Surely you would speak to her and tell her it’s not on, escalating if it doesn’t end?

As you are her manager definitely no smart comebacks, tempting as it must be.

Arrange an immediate 1:1 for this issue in particular. Tell her you’ve noted the various occasions she’s made personal remarks about you in front of the team and it must stop immediately. It’s rude, unprofessional and undermines your authority. You are no longer prepared to permit this behaviour in the team. Next occurrence will trigger disciplinary process. Any questions? No? Good, back to work then.

End of meeting. Follow through with declared actions.

I’m assuming if the remarks were directed at another colleague you would’ve initiated action. Why should it be different if aimed at you?

I myself would find it upsetting, demeaning, unnecessary and I certainly wouldn't see it as funny or constructive,do you have a colleague who you can talk to who's perhaps heard this person say these things, has anyone else passed comment on her comments, do you have a senior member of staff (your boss) you can approach and seek their advice and are there policies in place, I would see this as bullying, for this kind of behaviour.
Do you think she really doesn't realise that what she's saying is hurtful/bullying....yes I realise I'm going to get the "of course she knows" but I have worked with people who are so used to saying horrible things that it's become second nature and they really don't see anything wrong with saying horrible stuff and its come as a shock when I've spoken to them,it happened twice once I took the woman into the office because I didn't believe in airing dirty linen in public but I learnt a valuable lesson so the second time I had member of staff with me, about it and they've come back with "oh you know I didn't mean anything by it" and looking all shocked and affronted whatever you do remain professional and dignified, don't loose your temper, give her the opportunity to explain why she feels the need to say hurtful thing and if that doesn't work then, I'm afraid, you will need to see your boss and tell them
I'm so sorry your having this hassle

Correct ... it is not acceptable to make comments re any worker about their or another's appearance , in work time . Another manager should also relay the request to cease this ,( unless it involves educating policy on : extreme hygiene disregard , pearcings / divergence from dress code etc )