Guy in office asking my coworker why I'm wearing boots today

[user1471867483]

OK. Since my last post, things have settled down nicely as regards the guy in my office. He's just been getting on with his work and has backed off.

Yesterday, my female co-worker told me, "By the way, he asked me why you're wearing boots (I was wearing ankle boots) today (meaning me)". She said back to him, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself". I said to her, "What has what I'm wearing anything to do with him or my work performance"?

He's not my senior btw, just on the same pay bracket as me and in the same role.

Why is it his business to question what I wear now? I feel I've committed a terrible crime just because I had ankle boots on.

Can you link your other post?

I did t see you last post, but your female friend sounds a bit of a stirrer (unless there is a big back story). There are lots of people who like to comment on other’s dress sense. I would just ignore.

Not familiar with your other post but I would just ignore; if you react to this it could look like you’re making a big deal out of not very much. He could have been just making conversation.

Here it is:

"This married guy started in our office about 4-5 weeks ago from another dept. I've been in my role 8 years. Last week he bought me a Kit Kit - nice, OK.
I'm a very private person and never bring in my personal life into work. Now, he's asking my coworker where I live, the exact house and if I have a partner. My coworker told him she doesn't know about my personal life and go ask me himself. He also wanted to know why I didn't say bye when I left for the evening. Our office is busy with 8-9 of us at any given time, so my 'byes' might get lost in the noise and busyness of the office. Plus, I have to rush for my train.
Best way of dealing with him? I don't owe him or anyone any explanation about my life or my ways/actions. Then, when I emailed him to thank him for training me on the computer (he's a computer whizz where I'm not) and I said to him, "I'm not very technical. Think I need more practice". He then replied, "Perhaps we could practice together”.

I can only see the OP not the whole thread buy he sounds like an absolute weirdo. Next time he does it call him out in front of everyone, that might shut him up.

Sorry, I don't know how to link it. Silly me. 😟

He sounds like an intense person, we have one in our office and she is hard work, but I think it’s something she can’t help. I would just ignore.

His misspelling of practise is all you need to know.

Yes, I'll ignore it. He just goes on like an old Mary though.

Original thread here

@user1471867483 it would be better to let this thread lapse and just update the original thread with any new developments. Starting a new thread each time he does something creepy, stalkerish and misogynistic is going to get tangled.

You need to say to either you manager or HR than this guy's behaviour to you is going way over the line from friendly getting-to-know-a-new-colleague into creepiness and he needs to be firmly told to back off.

He sounds like a total creep. Don’t engage with him unless you have to.

You are relying on the coworker to be telling you the truth about him.

She could be genuine and telling you as it is or could be twisting what he says if he says anything at all.

I never believe gossip.

That's exactly what I'm doing and will continue to do. Thank you.

He fancies you and has a crush on you. Potentially stalkerish. Might be worth speaking to your boss to have a word to nip it in the bud now.

I'd be ignoring any comments from either of them tbh.
Unless you are naked/semi naked/stink/are not dressed appropriately for health and safety reasons (eg open shoes in a lab, dirty whites in a kitchen, no hard hat on construction site etc) then your clothes are not their business.

Exactly.

Tbh op is wonder why you were wearing boots yesterday as it was boiling where I was! I think you’re making this into something it isn’t now.

And tell your “friend” that you don’t want to know what he says about you from now on.

This!

Also tell her to tell management or HR if he says anything about you again instead of telling you & making you uncomfortable.

So weird of him. I wore ankle boots yesterday too because the forecast was rain and unlike my sandals they are waterproof. It was torrential from late afternoon here

Same. The weather was extremely overcast yesterday where I am and I was back to feeling cold too.

You're making a big deal out of this which is what he wants. Grow a backbone and say to him "I find it weird h way you comment on my personal appearance and ask colleagues oersonal details about me. Please stop doing it"

Was it hot where you were yesterday? He sounds like he may be ND and perhaps he was wondering if you were hot in the boots?

I agree with the poster whom said your coworker sounds like a stirrer. Why bother telling you?

Ew. That he wanted to know where you live is beyond disgusting.
he is way out of line asking people about you, and commenting on what you’re wearing.
people who say “overreacting” are completely in the wrong here - this is creepy and inappropriate behavior.

if I were you, I’d be documenting everything he says and does very thoroughly, in case you have to go to HR at some point in the future.

I agree with you about my coworker. She certainly is a stirrer and thrives on drama or she's bored otherwise.

Well in that case, you don't even know whether what she's telling you is the truth or not.

My advice would be to stop caring what other people say and do.