Guy in office asking my coworker why I'm wearing boots today

[user1471867483]

OK. Since my last post, things have settled down nicely as regards the guy in my office. He's just been getting on with his work and has backed off.

Yesterday, my female co-worker told me, "By the way, he asked me why you're wearing boots (I was wearing ankle boots) today (meaning me)". She said back to him, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself". I said to her, "What has what I'm wearing anything to do with him or my work performance"?

He's not my senior btw, just on the same pay bracket as me and in the same role.

Why is it his business to question what I wear now? I feel I've committed a terrible crime just because I had ankle boots on.

Wanting a colleague's exact address is definitely not normal! That would make me uncomfortable too.

And the OP has every right to privacy. She doesn't have to disclose anything about herself that she doesn't want to,and other people should respect that. We all have different boundaries.

🌷

How incredibly sexist.

Op has made it clear she doesn't like this man. She's not 'swooning' over him at all.

I'm frankly appalled by the number of posters who think OP should just ignore her instincts. This is how creepy men get away with so much.

Precisely my point. Thank you.

Could you just he over analysing all of this and making it into a bigger deal than it is? He is extrovert and you’re introvert? He doesn’t know when he’s being overbearing and you don’t like opening up? I mean 8 years there and never talking about your personal life also seems a little odd to me. That’s fine though, as to you it’s normal.

I don't like to be unkind but some of the posters on here are so full of crap and are outright bloody lying. There is no way in your real life, if a brand new man entered your work life and immediately started asking, not even you, but your colleague, where you lived, you would not be freaked out or concerned.

OP, having been in similar positions before, trust your instincts. Unfortunately, inappropriate behaviour from men is so common, it's important to have you guard up in any setting. This guy is clearly giving you the creeps.

Also, the colleague may be stirring the pot, but at the same time, maybe she wants you to be aware of his behaviour?

I agree with logging any behaviour from now, in case in future it builds a picture. I also understand why you would be reluctant to be directly confrontational, in case this escalates rather than stops his behaviour.

I would advise being a watchful grey rock in this situation. If you do start having frequent incidents, I would discretely be mentioning to your line manager what is making you uncomfortable, if you haven't already.

@SilverDoe your ire is 5 months out of kilter