Guy in office asking my coworker why I'm wearing boots today

[user1471867483]

OK. Since my last post, things have settled down nicely as regards the guy in my office. He's just been getting on with his work and has backed off.

Yesterday, my female co-worker told me, "By the way, he asked me why you're wearing boots (I was wearing ankle boots) today (meaning me)". She said back to him, "I don't know. Why don't you ask her yourself". I said to her, "What has what I'm wearing anything to do with him or my work performance"?

He's not my senior btw, just on the same pay bracket as me and in the same role.

Why is it his business to question what I wear now? I feel I've committed a terrible crime just because I had ankle boots on.

I agree, it would have been better to add this to the original thread.
@user1471867483 He may have backed off enough to not get himself into trouble, but he just can’t help it, can he? He has to ask ridiculous questions about you and in doing so he’s showing that he’s creepy and obsessed.
You’re doing the right thing in ignoring him. Ignore the coworker too - if she says “ he asked why you’re wearing boots” just give a short “Hm” and carry on with what you were doing, or just say nothing at all. Stirrers need a response from people, and if they can see they’re failing to push your buttons, they’ll give up.

Absolutely. Thank you. I've more to deal with than some silly office school boy.

Ignore him and the drama llama coworker but also keep a private log of inappropriate behaviour or comments from them towards you.

This too - in case he escalates the behaviour.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/work/5051845-new-guy-in-the-office-getting-on-my-nerves?page=3&reply=134604931

This as well.

And if he is really being a pest tell HR. Job done.

Are you enjoying the attention, OP?

Get Nancy Sinatra's recording of 'These Boots are made for walking' on Youtube or similar on your work computer in the lunch break, and play it when he's around. The line 'one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you' might scare the life out of him 😁

It was pouring down and thunder and lightening where I was, so boots would be normal!

Thank you very much everyone for your most helpful replies; they mean more to me than you'll ever know.

Don't be ludicrous.

I know. There is 'one' in every area of life. I always ignore those types xx

So many people saying he sounds like a creep etc - just sounds like he's either making conversation at work or fancies OP 🤷🏻‍♀️

Think you're over thinking things tbh.

Are you young?

He likes you, maybe a little more than he should for a work colleague and just trying to find out more about you, the ankle boot comment is not necessarily a negative comment, he’s noticing what you wear, when you arrive and leave because he likes you. Be friendly but professional and don’t mix on a personal level.

I may be missing the mark here, but is there any chance he has (potentially undiagnosed) ASD?
He sounds like he tried to ingratiate himself in a way with the kitkat and needing to know those details/ having questions about things that don't make sense to him/ seem like they don't conform to what everyone else is doing, could be because he's trying hard to understand and perhaps has missed the nuances of the social etiquette around it?

I wouldn't care in the slightest if someone asked why I was wearing boots or the area I lived in and I wouldn't be relaying it if I was asked them questions about someone else. I'd find it odd them wanting to know the exact house but your other co-worker sounds like she likes to stir the pot so I wouldn't be surprised if she has exaggerated it for the drama.
He could be a lovely man, she may have picked up that your a private person who appears to overthink things and he is new so the ideal pair to stir things up with.

He's married.

I have an autistic friend who runs conversations like interviews. You can see her mentally ticking off each comment or question then move to 'what films have you seen recently?' 'what friends have you had coffee with?' and you can see it's a coping mechanism for doing socialising. She's very good at it. He may be doing that.

All of this is what your co-worker said.

I would ignore it all unless you hear it with your own ears.

She could be completely making it up or taking it out of context.

You’re both way too over invested with the man.

I assume there aren’t many men in your office so now you’re all swooning over this one.

Well probably just wanting to get to know his colleagues then, none of the questions were out of the ordinary 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP seems to be anally private, which is fine but people who don't know will still ask questions.

As for the boots question - could've been because of the hot weather.

Unless they’re based in the UK which means he spelt it correctly.

No. In proper English (not American/simplified English), 'practise' is a verb and 'practice' is a noun.

I think he sounds like a creep.
It us not acceptable to go around asking colleagues the exact address if another colleague.
This guy is new, he barely knows the op, in what way is it ok to try and find out through a third party someone’s exact address?
Those saying it’s ok, so you wouldn’t mind your address being given out at random by your child’s teacher for example? Or your child’s full name?
And no, it’s not different.
I would report him to your manager and if it turns out your colleague is lying then that gets them into trouble too.

I believe that wearing black, ankle boots is to indicate to other black, ankle wearing bootees that you are all part of the same team and work for the CIA.

This should so obviously be reported to management for them to resolve. You’re aware it’s inappropriate and uncomfortable, why not get it formally dealt with?