Working when your child's ill - does your employer understand?

[reddaphne]

Wednesday morning is my team meeting morning. It's the only morning I really need to be in the office. DH has a job interview so he obviously has to go to that.
And guess what DC2 is sick so won't be able to go to nursery.
My boss will be pissed I already know it.
It's so typical!!

How does everyone else juggle child sickness and nursery age kids?

Is your employer understanding?

My place is fine and allows me to manage workload accordingly, like log in later in the evening to catch up etc.

I know working parents are very much maligned and we're made out to be shirkers at the expense of those who don't have kids. But frankly I work my backside off at my job, I regularly go above and beyond (mainly because of being short staffed), and I constantly pick up slack left by my child free colleagues who try and get away with doing as little as possible. On numerous occasions I have rearranged my childcare plans to accommodate work. So, if we have a situation at home that requires some understanding and flexibility then I don't think it's unreasonable for me to get it.

Regardless of whether you have children or not, any employee can find themselves in an unexpected/emergency situation that requires them to have a conversation with their boss about how to manage work. Not having kids doesn't make you immune from this. So the "your kids are your problem" brigade can get back in their lane.

@Hatenewyear what back up is available for sick children. The only back up is taking the absence as annual leave which of course is perfectly appropriate.

My old manager was a little bitch about it. He'd give any who was off for any reason the silent treatment.

My current boss is lovely and I don't need to worry at all. He has kids so completely gets it.

My work have always been fine. I also have a 15 month old who was sick last week. I was able to take last minute annual leave and do the bits I needed to while He napped. Work agreed I could log that as lieu time for next time (altho DP will do the next one)

I wfh anyway but can’t work with him about. If it were one of my older children I’d inform them and work as usual!

My employer is understanding he has kids too and they get sick. I try not to take the piss. Also I do favours if I can so I worked an extra day as short staffed and I had a day off last week.

@Hatenewyear just curious what that back up childcare looks like? Who exactly takes a sick child at the drop of a hat? I assume you don't actually have children? It's naive of the employer too, to think that if it ever comes to a choice between them or your (sick) child, you choose them. You are wrong on so many levels, it's hard to know where to start.

I'm pretty sure that it depends on your employer.

If your employer only employs , say, five people , having an employee who keeps going off because of child sickness is going to be much harder to cover than for , say, a bank.

It's hard, but you can't keep taking time off... it's not fair on your team mates too.

You need to find back up .

I'm a manager (and also a single parent) so completely support whatever my direct reports need to do regarding sick children.

I'm in Ireland so the only practical option is annual leave (or force majeure if it's a serious, unexpected situation but that leave is limited).

I would hope my colleagues would be professional enough to do their best to prioritise what's important.

In your case, given that's the only day you need to be on-site, I'd call in the grandparents and don't understand the idea that it's not a 'big enough' meeting to justify it.

I'm a single parent. I had no family nearby to help. I've had to have some back up care in place and sometimes make difficult decisions. (I once had to take my 8 yo who wasn't well, with me to a conference I was speaking at. I went in, spoke, took questions & left. Dosed her up and put her somewhere private she could rest. I could have cancelled but I knew that would leave the organisers in the lurch & I felt v bad about that).

I like to think that I & those I work with will be committed to both work & family & make sensible choices. Sometimes there's no option but to put family above work; sometimes a bit of juggling is needed.

What second line back up do you suggest?

(OP has first line back up by way of her DH, but he just happens to be busy)

I work at a uni we can get up to 5 days paid emergency leave. My current line manager has been really sportive. My previous line manager ( same uni) would be really passed of if I had to use one.

To those saying you should have a back up, what happens if you don't. My in laws are dead and my parents live in a different country. DSS lives here so moving near family is not an option. Not everyone has a backup.

What second line back up do you suggest?

She mentions grandparents, just that the meeting isn't 'big enough' to justify asking them.

I had babysitters I could call, some friends in a pinch & depending on the illness (eg I obviously wouldn't send a vomiting child to anyone's house).

I didn't have family or partner back up. I had to organise other alternatives.

It isn't if your child doesn't has relatives/close friends live in households where someone is vulnerable to catching infections/ sickness.

My employer are great and my manager is fine. There’s are odd managers (mainly single income
families with a SAHP or childless people) who can be a bit more “off with you”.

The way I look at it is I can take time off when my kids are sick or i can work from home at 70% and still get some work done. I am more efficient than some people so the company is still better off having me with kids than someone less efficient without kids.

My manager (and place of work in general actually) is brilliant and supportive with this. I’ve had to last minute not work, collect them, have them with me.. it’s never been an issue.

But then I often work extra hours, will regularly stay late or start early, work through lunch if there are deadlines or someone needs support. It’s give and take, they know I get the job done, so they support me in my life in return.

@EarringsandLipstick any recommendations for babysitting sites that can do last minute childcare? Or how to find these people?

We have no close family and no support network. All my friends work so no one I can rely on that way.

It’s just her weekly meeting, not an annual conference or anything.

Grandparents may be working themselves, or live a long way away, or have to cancel their plans for the day. It’s perfectly reasonable for OP to judge whether this is a big enough problem to ask.

You can be a father and work so your attention is divided.

Amazingly some men are capable of looking after their children without a woman standing over them and their children thrive.

All my local friends worked or had their own child who they wouldn’t want to catch the lurgy and you are quite unusual to find a babysitter always available at short notice prepared to take on a sick child, I would say.

Again, a local friend might risk their own child getting sick for me if eg I was travelling to a funeral or something; but not for the weekly meeting.

Yes good on occasions but people try it on a lot there has to come a point where they say enough is enough

I have twins so there is always someone Ill - single parent too. I try not to take the piss and always make up time

How does your husband cope dividing his attention between working and being a father?

No one wants to look after your sick child but more importantly your sick child doesn't want anyone they don't know looking after them when they are sick.

You need to get a circle of neighbours and friends who like/have children who can help out in emergencies.

However they tend to be more useful for genuine emergencies e.g. getting you to hospital, and school holidays e.g. you can do some reciprocal care.