Working when your child's ill - does your employer understand?

[reddaphne]

Wednesday morning is my team meeting morning. It's the only morning I really need to be in the office. DH has a job interview so he obviously has to go to that.
And guess what DC2 is sick so won't be able to go to nursery.
My boss will be pissed I already know it.
It's so typical!!

How does everyone else juggle child sickness and nursery age kids?

Is your employer understanding?

DH's employer is really understanding and he has a good annual leave package so he almost always does sick days using annual leave.

My employer, even though I'm paid half of what he is, and work in the same sector, and am not customer facing, (completely different job role don't get me wrong) refuse to allow me to use my generous AL like that. So I'd have to take it in unpaid which makes no sense economically for the family even though I earn much less.

@PakistaniFlow yes he does earn enough for me to be a SAHM, but you know what I enjoy working and earning my own money too!

Some of these responses are ridiculously harsh @Hatenewyear, dread to think of what workplace you are in if that is how you genuinely feel.

Whilst not employers problem, most employers are very understanding. Sickness happens, and as a parent then of course you will need to be with child if nursery etc is not an option when they are poorly.

My work has a policy to this effect, and while I am sure there will be an odd person that takes the piss, vast majority do not. If you want to retain staff then flex is needed and works both ways. Generally people give more than they take.

Not really. Emergency dependant leave is for exactly this kind of thing, and it's a statutory entitlement.

Please please tell me this was a piss-take comment....

Today I had to join a board meeting online instead of in person as my DD was off sick and DH is away from home. Another board member was online due to train problems. Technology these days is an enabler.

As a parent myself and the boss I'm always understanding of those with caring responsibilities- whether it's children or caring for other dependents

I've found that supporting working employee in these sorts of circumstances pays back massively in loyalty and good workplace culture.

My employer would be fine about people working from home in that situation as long as every office day didn’t result in an ill child. Fortunately a child who has a sickness bug is usually fairly quiet and at least you don’t need to take breaks to give them food!

I would be expected to take annual leave for the day. They understand but it’s my problem to sort.

Sickness happens when you have children so we either have to use backup childcare such as a favour from friends/family, or we have to flexitime our hours if possible to cover between us, or one of us has to take time off because DC is unwell.
It's part of being a working parent.

My employer is very family friendly, none of my managers have batted an eye when I've had to take emergency leave. Equally if any of my team called me about emergency leave its approved. I work in an office environment (wfh), so that is easier to manage than say retail, health care etc.

Poorly children/parents/partners are part of life and sometimes you need to take that day (or several) to be there.

DD was hospitalised last year - work were amazing, no expectation to do anything at all while she was in, and once she was home it was a case of do what you can, when you can.

Ultimately employers do bear a cost, but the cost to them of not realising the importance of being sensibly flexible is a demotivated workforce.

Because if you don't stay home you can't "be a mother", right?

Religious studies, homeschooling hmmm I thought you were one of those American megachurch people but judging by username probably not.
Sexist comments have no place in this thread. Or in any modern country really.

What kind of back up would you suggest though? All of my child's grandparents still work and you can't get a random babysitter to come and look after an ill child. We don't have an option other than for me or DH to take time off.

To answer your question OP, my employers are understanding but I have a very flexible job in HE so can take emergency dependents leave/annual leave or just make the time up elsewhere.

In the circumstances you have, I would have taken annual leave.

As I'm reading it, it isn't emergency leave as Wednesday is tomorrow.

We all get it, it's hard with young children and a job, you need a back up to your back up etc.

Employers employ people. People have families, they get sick, their cars break down on the way in, some are at the mercy of a train strike, etc etc. So of course any decent employer needs to have a reasonable level of understanding and flexibility around all of these potential emergencies.

In reality, yes some employers are more understanding than others and some are totally awful. A lot of managers who don’t have children don’t understand what it’s like to have kids who get sick lots, how unavoidable it is, and how “back up childcare” may just not exist.

Im lucky that I have a particularly flexible employer and manager so I can work from home, move my hours around, or take emergency leave.

My managers are great, they understand that if you have a sick child at home you aren't going to be 100% focused on work if in anyhow.

Employees are real humans who sometimes have to be there for other humans - namely their children and parents who do get unwell and might dare to do so during working hours! It's not employer's problem but any employer who gives grief (more grief on top of an unwell child) isn't going to get a hardworking dedicated employee - neither that day nor rest of the year. Until we are invaded by AI employers DO need to recognise this and be empathetic.

Can someone please explain what does 'backup childcare' mean? I have no family nearby and WHY would any friend/relative want to take care of my sick child in the first place? And what about the little human who wants to be sick in their own home with their mum/dad nearby? I can understand if one has a critical meeting and needs a friend to be with their child for 2 hours so parent can do that meeting. But for a whole regular workday - no way!

Thanks for this post.

What is such a pain is my child is 15 months so I literally can't get away enough to even do the meeting on teams. Unless she's sleeping but because she's ill I can't predict when that would be and can't exactly time if for the meeting starting.
It's also not a bit enough meeting to call in gp's help. So it's just one of those ones I'm going to have to suck up.
I've been there 3 years so they'll understand. It's just annoying.

And those who have little understanding either don't have kids, or have forgotten what it's like!

As a manager I completely get it, and allow employees to take short notice annual leave. As a pp said above I do try and gently encourage people to share the load with a partner. What really does piss me off is when people lie. Either than they are sick so they take it as sickness rather than leave, or they they have another emergency and need to wfh and then produce no work all day because they are actually caring for a child. Just be honest