anyone give up a career to stay at home and regret it?

[mostlymay]

I'm in a real dilemma as to what to do. I have a great job but its long hours and very very stressful and was planning on returning to work when all of a sudden its hit me HOW much I love my baby and how much I want to stay at home with her for as long as possible. DH says we can just about cope financially as long as roof doesn't collapse and he doesn't lose his job etc even though I'd have to pay back maternity money so if I want to I can which is amazing as so many women DON'T have this choice.. But has anyone been in this situation, then regretted it.. I feel a bit weird about being financially reliant on DH and giving up a career I've spent so long working at establishing.. but I love spending time with my baby.. Any experiences please?

I am sorry I have not read all the thread but I just wanted to share my experience as I still cry about it and constantly worry if it has affected my dd1.

I had a great job which I loved and really enjoyed. I had dd1 and returned 3 days a week when she reached 6months. She was placed three days a week in a great nursery which was extremely expensive. It took all my wages to pay for it but I was going back to work because I loved my job a believed that I was making a difference.

Anyway I started finding it very difficult to cope - my job (Head of Dept at secondary school) was not the type that you left at work - and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with dd1.

I started to get very stressed and I think my work sufferred. I also found out I was pregnant and then sufferred a miscarriage and then I resigned when dd1 was 18months.

I believe I needed to go back to work in order to realise that the time I would have with dd1 is to precious to miss. So now I have two dds and i will return to work when dd2 is 3. However I still feel guilty for the time I missed with dd1 - you cant get it back.

Thats fab MostlyMay

Hope it goes well. It's always good to have the decision made.

I have not read all the posts, but would say, from my experince, do not give up work completely. Find part time job, childcare you're happy with, or get your partner to go part-time! I gave up work, and I did regret it, especially when my DH became redundant and it was forcibly brought home to me how financially dependant I was. It has caused great stress in our marriage and nearly caused us to part, because one of the reasons I did not go back to work was to support him in his career. I now work 4 days and am much happier than I was at home - but my children are older.

If you are in education, would a possibility be to lecture p/t inthe evenings for a few years?That would cut down on childcare.My DH does this part-time now,and most local colleges need reliable people.I think the important thing is to maintain your career on some level until you're ready to resume it more full-time.

michie, me too, a teacher about to give it all up and I so regret not doing it earlier.
I waited until the oldest was 9yrs old..only a couple more years and I lose him to teenagerhood

Also there seems to be so much you can do to stop yourself feeling bored if they are at school, such as voluntary work etc, I can't wait!

Not read all posts, but didn't they outlaw (or something of the like)having to repay maternity pay if you decide not to return to work? might be worth checking that out...I may be wrong though.