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Original poster

I'm looking forward to going back to work - am I kidding myself and it's going to b hell?

42 replies

theprecious · 26/02/2008 20:59

Go back to work in June, four days a week. It's 45 mins commute, fairly easy and well paid although some of my team are just 10000% miserable for no good reason.

I am looking forward to it. Am I mad?

Oh ds will be 11mths then.

OP posts:

Eebs · 26/02/2008 21:05

I went back to work when my dd was 7 months and wasn't looking forward to it but it was great. I got to drink a cup of tea and go to the loo by myself. I can't wait to get home and see dd and I love the thrill of being back with her. Lots of my co-workers can be miserable too, but I discovered that a lot of the mothers I was hanging out with whilst on maternity leave had their issues as well.

Eebs · 26/02/2008 21:07

Oh and I meant to say I also went back for 4 days and it was the best thing ever. Quite a drop in pay but I love my day with my dd just the two of us and the work/life balance thing is so much better.

Quattrocento · 26/02/2008 21:10

You are not mad - you're just rational!

motherinferior · 26/02/2008 21:11

I went back very early - I had to - and have to confess I did like it.

gingerninja · 26/02/2008 21:13

I went back when DD was 11 months and needed it. I work 3 days and could probably do 4 happily. Works for us and I really enjoy the balance of being me and mummy. Good luck

Nappyzone · 26/02/2008 21:16

I went back when ds was 11 months - i odnt enjoy getting up early and rushing everyone to get out the house so i can drop them at nursery but after that i take a deep breath, turn off the nursery rhyme tapes and enjoy the journey with my own tunes, get there and enjoy a cuppa without people jumping all over me and demanding. I also like being smug in a crap work week and declaring my three days are over then spending some quality time with my ds and dd.

Fennel · 26/02/2008 21:24

I went back quite early each time and enjoyed it, it was like a breath of fresh air after all that baby-centred life - the endless weaning talk etc. It was nice to talk to people who didn't know anything about pureed carrots. If you liked the job in the past it's quite possible you'll still enjoy it.

Get the childcare sorted, it's so much easier if you are happy with that.

rookiemater · 26/02/2008 21:50

I do 4 days a week and it's fine.

I loved the first week, the adult conversation, the wearing of vaguely smart clothes, the ability to sit down and eat lunch and go to the toilet with the door shut. Oh and not having 7 days of conversations centering around weaning and walking and pooing.

The initial excitement has died down as I have been back for over a year and DS bless him is at such a cute stage at the minute. But I just comfort myself with the thought that I'm sure being at home all the time would be hard for me as well in different ways.

Plus DS loves his CM to bits and I think the interaction with the other children provides more stimulation than I could at home ( although probably some self justification for own decision in there as well)

I'm sure it will be absolutely fine and if you get cheesed off with it then you can try for No 2 !

rookiemater · 26/02/2008 21:57

I tell you what things are annoying though :

Your work colleagues thinking that you are somewhat work shy for not doing a full week and that you spend your day off lying on a sofa in your jim jams eating grapes
Your work mates not understanding that you are actually taking a percentage pay cut for not working full time, and that if they wish to do the same then they can apply to reduce their hours too rather than making sarky comments about you.
At 4 days a week your manager can just about get away with keeping your workload and objectives at a f/t level so even if you do a fantastic job you're never going to get an exceptional rating
As you aren't f/t you won't have time to chit chat so you use all your working hours productively whereas the 5 day a weekers will be having a chat about somebody having twins and deciding what to eat with their coffee

But there are massive upsides and no dirty nappies to change while you are there.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 26/02/2008 22:00

45 min x 2 a day reading a book during the commute. No wonder you're looking forward to it

spicemonster · 26/02/2008 22:07

Apart from the fact that they're messing me around with my job , I like the mental challenge, reading on the tube is lovely (if I can get a seat) and the best bit is that I really, really look forward to seeing my DS at the end of the day. I think we both benefit from a bit of a break from one another TBH

One tip - do not put your smart blouse/jacket on until just before you are about to leave the house and ideally once your DS is safely ensconced in a buggy. He will puke/rub food/smear snot down you otherwise

Jojay · 26/02/2008 22:07

I love being back at work and would go insane without it!

I have the utmost respect for SAHM's but it's SOOO not for me.

I hope it works out as well for you as you think it will - good luck.

rookiemater · 26/02/2008 22:09

Oh yes spicemonster, forgot the smart clothes drawback. I basically wore a pinny in the morning until I was out of the house to protect my clothes. Just had to remember to take it off before getting into work.

Judy1234 · 26/02/2008 22:26

I went back even earlier 5 days a week and enjoyed it - the being back. I was at a very early stage of my career anyway so work was still a newish thing. Someone else at my level had just had a child too (or rather his wife) even though we were both 22 so that helped.

I liked the break. I liked the chance to sit on a train and read a book. I enjoyed having time (when there was time ) to go out at lunch time to the bank even. I remember going to the library at lunch breaks sometimes too if work was slow. I didn't find expressing milk very easy but apart from that it was fine and lovely to have a baby to come home to and cuddle in the evening too (that particular baby now being 23 years old).

zebedee1 · 27/02/2008 10:20

Thank you for sharing all this, I am about to go back to work 3 days a week, and everyone keeps saying "oh I bet you're gutted about having to go back to work", I've not had one positive comment! Even the Mums I know with kids the same age are getting teary at the thought of going back or resigning because they don't want to leave their children. I was starting to feel like a freak because I'm quite looking forward to going back! Your posts have reassured me that going back could be a good thing.

I went in to meet my manager last week and it was BLISS to sit on the train for half an hour and read a trashy magazine then have a coffee and adult conversation without DS trying to knock the TV over and electrocute himself.

Pindar · 27/02/2008 10:31

Love my children. Love my job. The two are not, I repeat not, mutually exclusive. Welcome to the club of happy jugglers and compromisers!

LaDiDaDi · 27/02/2008 10:33

I went back ft when dd was 8 months old and I didin't regret it at all. I do sometimes miss her as every 8 weeks or so I work a weekend of three 13 hour days in a row which means that I don't really see her but I love my job and the adult me time it provides and dd is happy and well cared for when I'm at work.

If I'm totally honest then 4 days a week would be better for as I wouldn't feel like I spent my weekends running around but it's not viable career wise at the moment as it's either ft or 3days/week and I prefer the ft option.

I think in the main people who don't like their jobs after children didn't really enjoy them that much before dc.

EsmeWeatherwax · 27/02/2008 10:34

I hated the thought of going back, which I had to do when dd was 6 months, but now I am back, I really like it. I work three days, and like another poster has said, would quite happily do four, but I feel my time with dd is much more precious and fun for both of us since I have been back. Always thought I would like to be a SAHM, but in reality, I would probably not be so keen.

jelliebelly · 27/02/2008 10:38

If you enjoyed your job before then you will probably still enjoy it but with the added bonus of coming home to cuddles from ds

I went back to work 5 days when ds was 6 months old and don't regret it at all..you are definitely not mad

RedJools · 27/02/2008 10:44

I didn't want to go back, but did and it was fine! I think my lo's benefitted hugely from nursery on the 2d I work, and I find my job less stressful now that I only do it p/t. I also think having kids helps you put things into perspective- my colleagues flap about things but I feel calmer since I've had the kids, and I feel I handle the stresses of the job better now, now that its not the be-all and end-all in my life! I also think its a good role-model for my girls, so they see mum in a different role. it helps that I am a vet and so they can relate to my job, and are interested in what I do. And they appreciate me more when I get home!!

Original poster

theprecious · 27/02/2008 17:39

thanks all! Good to hear that it does work out. As has been said all you seem to hear is about how awful it will be to go back to work.

OP posts:

PuppyMonkey · 27/02/2008 17:50

It's brill, precious believe me! went back for three days a week in december when dd2 was eight months. Even though it's a tough job, it's still less stressful than being at home! You get to go out to lunch and read a paper and everything. great

And dd2 loves childminder. And still loves me and her dad and her sis. Win win situation.

Judy1234 · 28/02/2008 08:02

I don#t think you see anything like enough in the press comment from women who love working whilst having children. Every article you see seems to be about women wanting to work a very few hours or only working because they have to and yet many of us enjoy work, the people we meet, the friends we make and even in my case the work itself for 40 or 50 years. It's really important part of our lives as well as having a family.

WaynettaSlob · 28/02/2008 08:10

I think the key to success Precious is not to beat yourself up over your changes, and make sure your expectations are realistic (it took me a while to figure that out, and I eventually learnt the hard way )
Also, be prepared for the fact that things may have changed since you left, even if it's just that there are new people there, or members of your team have new partners or whatever - again, I was expecting to slot back in and pick up where I left off but it took a bit longer to get settled back in.

And there is nothing on this earth quite like the way your DS's little face will light up at the end of the day when he sees you!!!

Good luck!

WaynettaSlob · 28/02/2008 08:12

not to beat yourself up over your CHOICES - doh!

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