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Original poster

I'm looking forward to going back to work - am I kidding myself and it's going to b hell?

42 replies

theprecious · 26/02/2008 20:59

Go back to work in June, four days a week. It's 45 mins commute, fairly easy and well paid although some of my team are just 10000% miserable for no good reason.

I am looking forward to it. Am I mad?

Oh ds will be 11mths then.

OP posts:

itsahardknocklife · 28/02/2008 08:20

I went back to work full time when DS was 4 months old - I really looked forward to it and enjoyed it.
Now DS is 16 months old and I have just stopped working because I want to be with him!
What I am trying to say is, do it! You can always change your mind later on. I found it very refreshing to be away from DS when he was smaller, afterall we had been with each other 24 hours a day since he was conceived. He always looked so happy to see me when I got home from work and I was happy to see him too.
And nothing is set in stone if you change your mind a year down the line. Good luck and enjoy it x

Kathyis6incheshigh · 28/02/2008 08:21

I am enjoying it more than I thought I would. The commute, in particular, is lovely (child-free on train, undisturbed reading time....)

itsahardknocklife · 28/02/2008 08:28

I used to drive to work and I enjoyed listening to Terry Wogan without crying in the background

Oblomov · 28/02/2008 08:33

I loved going back to work. And then couldn't wait to get back to ds. Best of both worlds.

WaynettaSlob · 28/02/2008 08:34

Agree with you re: the commute Kathy - it's the only time of the day where I am a 'non' person - neither a mother nor a worker, just an annonymous commuter, reading the paper and snoozing......bliss

Kathyis6incheshigh · 28/02/2008 08:44

That's it Waynetta - it's lovely in-between time....

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/02/2008 08:45

I went back ft with both of mine, when they were 6 months old.

I loved being on maternity leave, but I loved being back at work/with other adults. I'm definitely not cut out to be a SAHM, and my nanny did a much better job on the arts and crafts/sticking and pasting front than I ever did or would!

Three pieces of advice from me:

Make sure that your childcare is the best you can afford, and totally reliable. You need to be able to walk out that door and not have to think/worry about what your child is doing until you walk back through it. And make sure you know what you will do if one of you is ill

Be prepared for your priorities re work/career to have changed somewhat. I found that I was much less ambitious - although this did prove to be a temporary thing! - but office politics/trying to get to the top suddenly seemed ridiculous. Therefore, even though I was ft I did find that I was being a bit sidelined

which links to piece of advice 3 - (and this depends on your working environment) - when you have a child to get home to/a nanny, CM or nursery with specific hours, you will have to leave on the dot. Where I worked it was the kind of place that people often worked late. There was no pressure to do that, but I realised that I was missing meetings/conversations and just generally not around when a lot of other (often important) stuff was going on. Even a spontaneous drink at 5.30 (there was always someone coming round with a glass of wine!) could turn into a bit of a spontaneous team meeting. Although it wasn't on the face of it, it turned out that my company was quite unchild friendly, in the sense that there were few other people with children and it was clearly irritating for many of them that I was no longer available for these 'after work' meetings - and I think there was often an undercurrent of feeling that I wasn't pulling my weight.

Looking back, I think I would have been better to try and extend my working day by half an hour/an hour - possibly by trying to get leave to start an hour later in the day - and I think it would have done my career there some good.

So don't apologise for looking forward to going back, and enjoy it!

Botbot · 28/02/2008 09:06

I love this thread - so nice to see lots of positive comments from people who work, after a few unpleasant threads last week. I work ft (well, just a shade under - I do slightly short days) and I agree with all of this.

Especially the commute bit - I love my reading time, which I didn't get when I was on maternity leave. I've also recently discovered the Archers podcast, which I listen to on my ipod on the train every morning - bliss!

mistlethrush · 28/02/2008 09:14

I did 3 days from when ds was 6mo - and I couldn't wait to get back, although I was sad leaving ds at nursery on the first day - not had any problems since and ds now nearly 3. Have increased hours to 4 dpw although ds only in nursery 3.5.

The mix works very well for me. I can go to work, concentrate on one or two things, have a cup of tea when I want etc, then, on my days off, have the energy to spend quality time with ds.

OrangeKnickers · 28/02/2008 10:06

Theprecious here - I've changed my name!

Wow, there is some great advice here. I am pleased that people have got back to me, sometimes it feels as though Xenia is the only happy working mother on mumsnet and everyone else really wishes they could be a SAHM.

I think that for some people after having children, work is like sex. If you didn't like to do it before, now you have the perfect excuse to give it up.

I'll note down the advice..... unfortunately I will be hitting the tube at 8am and it will be a squash, but on the plus side there isn't an "after work" culture at my work so I won't miss out there. Dh is going to do the pick-ups so that if any of my lovely colleagues want to try and mess me around to see if I will stay late, then I can smile sweetly and do it (in the short term).

Botbot - the Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo podcast is also good for the tube.

Judy1234 · 28/02/2008 10:20

Good. Lots of women do like their work. Women are very good at complaining (ask any man) and it's complaints you always see. The majority of happy people are just either happy staying at home or happy working so have nothing to say or add about it because they are content.

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/02/2008 15:50

I have had many unhappy moments at work, which actually culminated in me leaving and setting up my own business - but not for one minute have I ever regretted going back to work full time. It is, in part, what defines me.

I have always paid for the best possible childcare (even when at one point I was earning barely more than the nanny we employed) so that I know my children were looked after well and loved.

Go for it!

Myfairone · 29/02/2008 08:17

thank you for directing me to this post orange knickers (need to hear why you changed names!!!)...i have a few weeks to go before returning to work but have been wallowing in self pity and crying a lot at the thought of leaving ds

now i feel much more positive. maybe i can do this.,..if you're all doing it and actually enjoying it, why can't i?

i loved my job before so can love it again.

thanks for all the positive vibes here.
x

jelliebelly · 29/02/2008 09:12

I think Xenia has made a v.good point - if you are happy with your choices you don't feel the need to justify them or bitch about other people's choices - you just get on with it. It is great to see such a positive thread.

OrangeKnickers · 01/03/2008 22:42

excellent - positive vibes all round.

Next worry - getting out of the house in the morning with ds to be at CM at 8am.

There was an excellent thread ages ago with loads of morning routine tips but I can't fine it. I do remember that someone suggested putting their dressing gown back on over their work clothes after they got up and dressed. Does anyone know the one I mean?

rita2007 · 02/03/2008 21:23

Eebs, was your 7 mth old sleeping thru the nights when you went back to work?

OrangeKnickers · 25/06/2008 20:02

update:

Three weeks back at work. And it's fine. Ds is happy at the cms (not crying when dropped off anymore) and I am happy at work and it's all come back to me.

Have not regretted it for a second!

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