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Original poster

Asked to swap days off so that maternity appointment will always fall in days off

120 replies

Grapefruitbreakfast · 02/02/2023 09:13

So say I usually have Thu off

Wednesday is the day the midwife is at my drs
so all appoints on wed

work asked me to swap my day off from Thu to wed
so that I can go in my day off but I’ve been really sick and knackered and don’t want to spend half my day off dealing with that

OP posts:
HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 02/02/2023 10:52

@Grapefruitbreakfast

God, this really annoys me. You absolutely do have the right to go to those maternity appointments in works time. Why should you go on your day off? You would be doing it in works time if you were full time!

As a few posters have said, women get screwed over right from the onset in life. Pregnant women/mothers get screwed over and over constantly, and have been royally screwed over since time began. That's why there's so many new rules and laws for them, and why they're protected.

Not exactly related, but this reminds me of a time some 20 years ago when my employer was trying to get me to go on a course at college that related to my work. (But I didn't really need to do it as I knew my fucking job!) They said the course would make me better at my job. I could do it well as it was. Cheeky bastards. Hmm

They wore the 'investors in people' badge though and wanted to be seen to be training their staff, even if they didn't need it!!! This course was one full day a week every week for about 40 weeks. I worked three days a week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And they picked Friday for me to go on this course, so I'd be going on one of my 2 days off every week for 40 weeks. On a day I was not paid for.

I point blank refused and said 'I am NOT going on a Friday - or a Monday... Monday and Friday are my days off.' And I said 'other people go in works time, so why can't I?' They said 'of course they do because they work five days a week. They have no choice.'

I still said 'no, I am not going. I may only work 3 days a week, and not 5, but I am only PAID for 3 days a week!!! So I either go on one of my PAID work days, or you can make the others go on a Saturday or Sunday, I'm not going on one of my days off.' (Monday or Friday.) Dug my heels in and point blank refused to go.

Tell them to get stuffed. If your appointments are in works time you GO then..... As pps have said, there won't be THAT many appointments anyway FFS.

I reckon the posters saying the OP should 'be flexible' (in other words - do what her employer insists on and screws herself over,) are people who work full time, and don't have any empathy for the part timers being forced to do stuff on their days off, OR they are supervisors/managers in a workplace, or self employed, and don't give a stuff about their staff, as long as the WORKPLACE is OK. Hmm

PatientlyWaiting21 · 02/02/2023 10:54

Scienceadvisory · 02/02/2023 10:32

But she's not being asked to reschedule. Her employer has asked if she could change her non-working day to the day of the appointments

Show quote history

I assume she has that day off for a reason!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/02/2023 10:57

Are you taking a full day off for appointments? Also iirc these visits are infrequent, so I'd not make the change to my week just to cover appointments that don't even happen that often.

KILM · 02/02/2023 11:06

As long as they are offering for you to change days and not trying to force you, I don't see how they've done anything wrong here.... they might be thinking purely in their own interest, sure. But this might be a suggestion I'd put forward to a pregnant team member because I'd be thinking 'the hospital is near to where she lives and in the complete opposite direction to the office and its a right pain getting back through town at that time and she's mentioned driving has been bothering her so this would reduce her travel time' or something like that. If she said no, absolutely fine - but don't assume the suggestion is malicious. I've had team members ask to change shifts around maternity appointments for various reasons before, not unusual.

Mariposa26 · 02/02/2023 11:08

KILM · 02/02/2023 11:06

As long as they are offering for you to change days and not trying to force you, I don't see how they've done anything wrong here.... they might be thinking purely in their own interest, sure. But this might be a suggestion I'd put forward to a pregnant team member because I'd be thinking 'the hospital is near to where she lives and in the complete opposite direction to the office and its a right pain getting back through town at that time and she's mentioned driving has been bothering her so this would reduce her travel time' or something like that. If she said no, absolutely fine - but don't assume the suggestion is malicious. I've had team members ask to change shifts around maternity appointments for various reasons before, not unusual.

From the OP it doesn’t sound like this is what’s happening though - she says her boss has “reluctantly” agreed and asked her to try to make appointments for days she is not due to work.

Cas112 · 02/02/2023 11:08

Just say no. You already have prior arrangements for Thursdays you can't change. Everyone is entitled to two hours leave for each maternity appointment so they shouldn't be asking you

KILM · 02/02/2023 11:13

Mariposa26 · 02/02/2023 11:08

From the OP it doesn’t sound like this is what’s happening though - she says her boss has “reluctantly” agreed and asked her to try to make appointments for days she is not due to work.

Show quote history

I can't see this in the OP at all.... all I can see is:

'So say I usually have Thu off

Wednesday is the day the midwife is at my drs

so all appoints on wed

work asked me to swap my day off from Thu to wed

so that I can go in my day off but I’ve been really sick and knackered and don’t want to spend half my day off dealing with that'

Mariposa26 · 02/02/2023 11:16

KILM · 02/02/2023 11:13

I can't see this in the OP at all.... all I can see is:

'So say I usually have Thu off

Wednesday is the day the midwife is at my drs

so all appoints on wed

work asked me to swap my day off from Thu to wed

so that I can go in my day off but I’ve been really sick and knackered and don’t want to spend half my day off dealing with that'

Show quote history

Apologies you’re right - there’s two really similar threads on this from this morning and I thought this one was the other one!

EspeciallyDetermined · 02/02/2023 11:35

HeavenIsAHalfpipe · 02/02/2023 10:52

@Grapefruitbreakfast

God, this really annoys me. You absolutely do have the right to go to those maternity appointments in works time. Why should you go on your day off? You would be doing it in works time if you were full time!

As a few posters have said, women get screwed over right from the onset in life. Pregnant women/mothers get screwed over and over constantly, and have been royally screwed over since time began. That's why there's so many new rules and laws for them, and why they're protected.

Not exactly related, but this reminds me of a time some 20 years ago when my employer was trying to get me to go on a course at college that related to my work. (But I didn't really need to do it as I knew my fucking job!) They said the course would make me better at my job. I could do it well as it was. Cheeky bastards. Hmm

They wore the 'investors in people' badge though and wanted to be seen to be training their staff, even if they didn't need it!!! This course was one full day a week every week for about 40 weeks. I worked three days a week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And they picked Friday for me to go on this course, so I'd be going on one of my 2 days off every week for 40 weeks. On a day I was not paid for.

I point blank refused and said 'I am NOT going on a Friday - or a Monday... Monday and Friday are my days off.' And I said 'other people go in works time, so why can't I?' They said 'of course they do because they work five days a week. They have no choice.'

I still said 'no, I am not going. I may only work 3 days a week, and not 5, but I am only PAID for 3 days a week!!! So I either go on one of my PAID work days, or you can make the others go on a Saturday or Sunday, I'm not going on one of my days off.' (Monday or Friday.) Dug my heels in and point blank refused to go.

Tell them to get stuffed. If your appointments are in works time you GO then..... As pps have said, there won't be THAT many appointments anyway FFS.

I reckon the posters saying the OP should 'be flexible' (in other words - do what her employer insists on and screws herself over,) are people who work full time, and don't have any empathy for the part timers being forced to do stuff on their days off, OR they are supervisors/managers in a workplace, or self employed, and don't give a stuff about their staff, as long as the WORKPLACE is OK. Hmm

I'm none of these things, I am a longterm part time employee in large and small businesses who has learnt that a bit of give and take in both directions makes the work life balance better for both parties and managers more likely to be positive about flexible working arrangements.

Bumble84 · 02/02/2023 11:38

Presumably you have a set day off because you have other commitments that day?

Badger1970 · 02/02/2023 11:45

If your appointment is taking out half a working day then yes you should change your day off.

Why on earth wouldn't you?!

AmIThatMam · 02/02/2023 11:50

You’ll only have poss 5 of these your entire pregnancy, then 2 or more scans which will likely be on different days. Are they going to ask you to swap days again for those? Hopefully it will be smooth sailing but what I’d you ah e to see a consultant at some point? Change your day again? Tell them to fuck off. (I mean not actually, but say no!) x

shivawn · 02/02/2023 11:55

Well I wouldn't change my day off in your situation. You're struggling with pregnancy sickness and fatigue, take your time off to rest as much as possible.

I'm a nurse so my shifts are different every week but sometimes my appointments fell on a work day and other times they fell on days off, I just said it to my manager in advance on the days they fell on a work day and there was zero issue leaving work to attend my appointments. I actually can't imagine her telling me she would change my days off instead. The hospital I work in is located right next door to the maternity hospital which made things a bit easier but they usually left me sitting in the waiting room for 1.5 hours after my scheduled appointment time so I still missed a few hours off work.

SarahAndQuack · 02/02/2023 12:12

I don't think it's rude of your work to suggest this, but you clearly don't want to do it, so I would just say that unfortunately you can't reschedule your day off and leave it at that. You don't need to give a reason. For all they know you have another commitment that day.

BreakingPointAgain · 02/02/2023 12:16

How many days do you work?

MyPurpleHeart · 02/02/2023 12:17

Half a day? I saw my midwife yesterday and was in and out in 20 minutes

I can see why they asked, you don't have to but if it doesn't put you out to swap days then what would be the harm long term

mumoffourminimes · 02/02/2023 12:18

I have done this before, my boss was quite good about changing my work routine to help me cope better throughout the pregnancy and the appts are very few and at the time they were very local so I didn't mind.

Twizbe · 02/02/2023 12:18

I mean, if it works for you as well why not?

With my second I swapped my midwife so that appointments would be on my usual WFH day (pre covid and I worked full time) it made it easier all round.

Iyjd · 02/02/2023 12:46

Moopsi · 02/02/2023 09:41

Yes women. Don't inconvenience your employer by getting pregnant. Bad girl.

Show quote history

This is why women shouldn’t be employed between the age of 23-35, maybe if we have to employ them we should pay them less to make up for it.

It isn’t their good will, clearly. It is their legal responsibility.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 02/02/2023 14:55

What would you have done if the appointments had been on Thursdays?

Original poster
Grapefruitbreakfast · 02/02/2023 17:24

Sorry should have said it’s a full time job that involves working on the weekend too
so not even part time so less time to rest

OP posts:
MrsPinkCock · 02/02/2023 18:31

If you’re working FT then I don’t think you should be looking to rearrange the appointments. The law requires your employer to give you the time off and an employee working M-F wouldn’t be scheduling appointments for their weekend, so you shouldn’t have to either.

Having said that, if you were only working 3 days a week in total then I would be making an effort to reschedule the appointments, because in the real world most of us do that to minimise disruption to our colleagues and our employer (if we care about our jobs and the people we work with). And flexibility goes both ways as a PP has said.

I once worked with an absolute piss taker - who purposely scheduled all of her appointments in the middle of the working day so she could turn up to work for half an hour in the morning and then claim she needed the rest of the day off paid. She did this every single time and she only worked 3 days a week! And from announcing her pregnancy at around 8 weeks, she refused to do any work that involved moving from her desk and wouldn’t even pick up paper files in case they were “too heavy”… complete opposite end of the scale, but she was abusing the system to get a paid day off on a monthly basis.

Anyway - assuming that you are genuinely only taking the time that is necessary to travel to and attend the appointment, then your employer will just have to suck it up.

surreygirl1987 · 02/02/2023 18:58

Hmmm I can see why they're asking. I ALWAYS try to plan appointments, pregnancy related or otherwise, for outside of working hours. Sometimes it's not possible of course. But it sounds like this is. You are legally entitled to say no of course. I have had pregnant colleagues taking the mick though and I find this frustrating - things like taking half a day off for a 20 min appointment...

SarahAndQuack · 02/02/2023 19:45

surreygirl1987 · 02/02/2023 18:58

Hmmm I can see why they're asking. I ALWAYS try to plan appointments, pregnancy related or otherwise, for outside of working hours. Sometimes it's not possible of course. But it sounds like this is. You are legally entitled to say no of course. I have had pregnant colleagues taking the mick though and I find this frustrating - things like taking half a day off for a 20 min appointment...

Well don't you get a gold star! But you could do so much more to be an excellent employee, and to shaft other women. How about getting sterilised so you never risk being pregnant on company time?

I'm sorry if I sound sarcastic but your response is so cheeky. The OP is entitled to this time. The fact you choose not to exercise your legal rights is neither here nor there.

If it takes her a half-day presumably there is a reason for that.

MrsMikeDrop · 02/02/2023 19:49

SarahAndQuack · 02/02/2023 19:45

Well don't you get a gold star! But you could do so much more to be an excellent employee, and to shaft other women. How about getting sterilised so you never risk being pregnant on company time?

I'm sorry if I sound sarcastic but your response is so cheeky. The OP is entitled to this time. The fact you choose not to exercise your legal rights is neither here nor there.

If it takes her a half-day presumably there is a reason for that.

Show quote history

I think when taking the mick, that is actually shafting other women 🤔

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