I lied

[Smile03]

Before I get any hate I want to say I know I am in the wrong.

We had a virtual away day booked in for the whole organisation and I had a meeting which overlapped by 15 minutes.

My manager was unaware about the first meeting and I lied and told her it was about HR/ date protection.

She has then investigated this and has been told no I was not in a HR meeting.

I then repeated I was.

My manager has said she will be getting HR advice now.

I am planning on going in and telling the truth tomorrow but want to know can I get fired for this?

I work for this Civil Service

The manager wasn't the one who booked the away day though? And likely she was instructed to make sure all of her team were present, therefore she was just doing her job (that she is relatively new to so probably wants to make a good impression to her own managers).

Whole lot of hate on this thread towards the manage who, as it turns out, is actually very reasonable.

So a manager is neurotic when there is a whole organisation meeting, that all of HR would be at, and when they ask their staff member why they were late the staff member said meeting with HR!

Quite frankly a manager that didn’t question such a blatant lie wouldn’t be a good manager in my book.

It was a whole organisation meeting - perfectly normal when you may be discussing a restructure, redundancies, new operational targets etc. Not organised by the manager.

All staff were supposed to be at the meeting, including HR, a simple question to OP why were you late was met with a blatant lie - I was in a meeting with HR.

@Smile03
well done, hopefully you can all move forward now, and dont give up the mentoring scheme.

@Itaintwhatyoudoitsthewaythatyoudoit

maybe its you who needs to calm down, The op was supposed to be somewhere and wasnt - so her manager checked- perfectly reasonable. Are you not capable of understanding that organisations work in different ways. With so many people working at home, virtual awaydays are not uncommon, are usually very useful and more cost effective than people travelling across the country to a single venue.

It’s called micromanaging.

When people worked from home, they were perfectly capable of managing their own workload and time.

Treating adults like schoolchildren is extremely old fashioned and patronising. Words used in a post above included ‘put your big girls pants on’ and expect a ‘severe telling off’. What age are the workforce in these organisations. I don’t know if any my age (late 40s) who would expect or put up being spoken to in this language.

I worked in corporate finance for years and years and HR would be involved very quickly if it did happen.

So your CEO calls a whole organisation meeting and it is micro managing to expect all staff who are working to attend at the specified time.

You really would have attended a mentoring meeting and waltz in late and been affronted to be asked why you were late.

The OP is in trouble. How much trouble may be detaremined by whether they try to continue digging, and you are suggesting the continue digging. That isn't, in my opinion, a good idea

The OP isn't in trouble, as it turns out and it seems her boss is sensible and fair, even if she does check up on her staff (but now the pp has pointed out that it was a whole organisation affair that makes more sense than it did).

I also don't see how saying that no employer I've ever worked in checks up on where employees are if they can't make a meeting (not as a general rule, I can't say if it happens in individual cases) was encouraging the OP to dig herself a bigger hole. I had another comment further back with what the OP should actually say and do.

all of mine required managers to approve mentoring programmes, so you couldn't keep it a secret anyway interesting because my current employer does not. And of course there are schemes within sectors where your employer wouldn't need to know anyway - I have been a mentor for people outside my organisation.

A great update, really pleased for you

The chances of dismissal are very slim given the situation, I imagine however that you would be given some form of warning (be it formal or informal depending on your organisations policies), the severity of which would be based on your role, seniority, past warnings on file etc:

Good update. Hope you carry on with mentor scheme.

Ahhhh…I work Civil Service too, G7, and I was going to say to you that coming clean is absolutely the right thing to do. Any of my line managees lied, I’d be confused but absolutely fine with it as we all do stupid things sometimes. Definitely not a sackable offence! It’s so easy for these things to blow up in our heads though until it becomes a major thing.

But please, get back on the mentorship scheme - don’t let this put you off! One of the absolute best things about the CS is the quality and breadth of the training and support on offer and so grab this with both hands. It’s invaluable.

Anyone who doesnt work in the civil service doesnt know how awful and how poor line management really is!!! There is no psychological safety and no empathy. There is no logic or understanding. I can fully understand why op didnt want to disclose

@Mumofthreeteenagers

It really does depend on what dept you are in, I"m quite happy with my dept.
Although like anywhere you get individual managers who need to change

Did you tell her about the mentorship programme? It sounds like a great thing to do so I hope you did and i hope you keep it going. It sounds like this may actually have been a really, really positive thing in the end and might actually mean you gel a lot better now with her which is a fantastic outcome - just don't do it again!

I think maybe you need some assertiveness/confidence training if you found it too awkward to talk about being on a mentoring scheme to your own manager so you don't make problems for yourself in future. But glad things sound OK.

Yay, glad it went ok @Smile03 xx

I have made poor calls in the past, as most of us have, and it's a scorching red faced humiliation... so painful.

The thing to do is suck up your courage and go to the boss and just admit what you did. Admit that it was poor judgement on your part, doubly so for not coming clean earlier. Tell him/her how terribly embarrassed you are, and that you're genuinely sorry to have done something so stupid.

To be fair I think it depends on what Department you’re in. The Dept I worked for was quite small and very friendly, welcoming and supportive.

There’s one (large) Dept though that you couldn’t have got me to work in for any amount of money!

Really pleased it went well OP! Just take it as a lesson learned and move on now. I hope you reconsider pulling out of the mentor programme - never give up on self development!

Oh my god unexpected belly laugh here

just make up a really big lie now to cover the other lie - something along the lines of 'a friend was in serious trouble and had to talk to you and you were worried about them. You knew you should not have been making a personal call especially when the meeting was due but you had very serious concerns about said friend (for example)' Say you are very very sorry and that this will never happen again. Then actually dont let it happen again as its more trouble to cover up lies than to not tell them in the first place. If the Manager asks what was wrong with your 'friend' say it was very private and that is why you lied as you knew you wouldn't be able to say what was wrong.

Was it a personal meeting that you can say, it was personal so you didn't want to say anything about it eg docs appointment?

You've created a little mistrust, but as long as you weren't moonlighting, you'll be OK. Your manager though will now watch you a little closer....

Thats a great update

Good outcome but definitely reconsider dropping out if the mentoring scheme. This may be a good starting point to discuss with your mentor - not advice on lying of course but about being assertive and how to manage upwards

I would speak to your HR rep first and then have them attend the meeting with you. Come clean to HR and ask for advice on how best to approach the meeting.

You should also have representation (I am assuming you are non unionized). And HR is going to find out so you might as well talk to them first and have them as your rep.